Trying to figure out schooling is making my head spin!

In my opinion the quickest route for you to take would be to seek out a community college in your area that offers an RN program. And yes, after you complete that you will be an RN with an associates degree. The waiting lists are difficult, but if you are really at a starting point you will most likely have to do your pre-reqs before you will be accepted in anyways. They took me a year to complete, such as A&P, microbilogy and such. By then you may be up on the waiting list. I dont think that there are any online LPN-RN bridge programs because you need to do your clinicals. You may be able to take some courses online, but not all. Again, look at the community colleges. Then... after all that, you can look for a RN-BSN online program, there are alot. So depending on the wait list, you are looking at 3 years. Not too bad for a wonderful education. The school I went to was great because it had a point system for acceptance, not a waiting list, so if you had experience (CNA), and good grades you had a good shot of getting in.
Good Luck!!!

I think your best bet is to post in the regional area of this website so that you can talk to current students that are enrolled in your area to get a better picture as to the best way to your goal.

If you graduate from and RN program, pass your boards, and are given a license by your state board of nursing you will be a RN.

If you graduate from and LVN program, pass your boards, and are given a license by your state board of nursing you will be a LVN.

Education to be an RN is not more LVN education - the thing that separates the programs is not length, but the nature and scope of the curriculum.

I understand that nobody wants to be school forever and I have no idea as to the nature of you personal situation but I would urge to consider that your nursing education will serve you for many years to come. Given that you are 29yo you should get 30 plus years of career out of your eduction. I would think about quality more than speed. There is not that much difference between 2 years and 3 years when viewed through the lens of 30 years.

Find programs that meet your goals. Apply as broadly as you can. Reapply if you dont get in the first time.

Note - I do not mean to imply that a longer program is superior to shorter one. Nor do I think that a BSN is necessarily "better" than doing and ADN at a community college.

FYI - I am 43 yo - I started my nursing journey four years ago. I will finish my BS in microbiology this semester and this summer I start a masters entry to advanced practice nursing program. When I am done, my formal education will have taken more than 7 years. It has been hard to be a "starving student" at this point in my life but I wouldnt have it any other way. I know I want to be an APN and this was the best route for me.

Trust the old man, the years will fly by....

I started out in the RN program and almost finished all of the prereqs all except Pharmacology math by .3 of a point and they ousted me!
So I figured I had too much involved to just quit and I wanted to be a nurse. I was married, still am, and mother of 2. It was very difficult. For some reason the head of the nursing program was on my back! She wanted me out of the program and I never knew why, after all she didn't even know me. But I went on to finish and graduated very easily from the LPN program. Of course keep in mind that I had finished the RN prereqs: Microbiology, Nutrition, Anatomy & Physiology I& II, and algebra, a writing class. All of which take at least a year or better. It just depends on how high you test on your entrance exam.
I didn't let anyone change me,, but sometimes I wished I had never gone into nursing because it changed me. I had so many awful experiences of other nurses not willing to help just blew me away. After all the first we are taught as nurses is its a "team effort", bologna! If you are not keen enough to catch "things" that come up, and they will, you better go in another direction.
Nurses work long hours for little pay. I even had another LPN literally take the phone out of my hand and say" cancel call" and hung up. I was repaging the doctor who had given me an insulin order to tell him I did not have that insulin. This other LPN was not the patient's nurse. And I took the pt's accucheck and it was 432 which was not covered in her chart! So I called the Dr. He gave me a phone order for Humalog, we didn't have any. I was calling him back and she comes over and took the phone. I was bewildered. No one in nursing school told me how to handle this problem!
So think twice. I have more horror stories just write me!