Trite Management Platitudes

I have been a nurse for "mumble, mumble" years.

Through out the years there have been trite mangement 'truisms' that have always set my teeth on edge.

For example, once not too long ago, I was working in an ICU with two other nurses, a seven bed unit that has an acquity that can vary widely from next-to-nothing to six vents and/or AMIs, to crashing surgeries, etc.,

That shift in question we were literally drowining, because of the nature of the unit we rarely have a unit secretary, or any aides to transport labs, run errands, and so forth. One of the nurses called the house manager and asked if one of the unit secretaries from the med/surg floor, (they have two), could please come help us, mostly answer lights, and maybe put in an order or two into the computer.

The house manager told her, no...and you "must learn to prioritize your care."

I hate this comment...It implies that the reason a nurse is falling behind, or overwhelmed, is her fault, that if she would just do what is important she would not be behind...Of course if you truly just prioritize, you will be faulted for not doing the things you think are less important, that you didn't update the critical pathway, or care plan...or put the accucheck readings or vitals in the three different places you supposed to.

Another one I hate is the phrase..."Lack of preparation on your part does not constitue an emergency on my part". This only is true if you have some power or ability to set your own workload and or timetable, something that I think most staff nurses do not have.

In actuality what really happens from a staff nurse's point of view is...Lack of preparation on your part has caused an emergency on my part...

The surgeon that wants to do the painful dressing now, and neglected to tell you to give the pre-med one-half hour before his arrival, the one with the complicated supplies and equipment that takes awhile to get together, and he wants to do it NOW!!!

The gastroenterologist, (resident), that wants you to force the elderly pt to chug the gallon of go-lytely in 20 minutes because he forgot to order it earlier and the attending is going to be there in an hour for the colonscopy, of course the pt. won't be clean, but that's you fault...

So I was wondering is there any management or work related platitudes that just send you up the wall?