Toxic coworker - is it just me?

Nurses General Nursing

Published

Hello, all!

I have had a crappy day at my LTC/rehab/SNF, where I work as a CNA. There is one particular nurse who has a grudge towards me and I have NO idea where it's coming from. I'll relate what has happened between us in the past and hopefully some of you can point out if I'm overreacting or if she really is a queen B.

The first incident happened a couple of months ago. I and another CNA on my hall were using a lift to transfer a very large, very confused, semi-combative lady into her wheelchair. Queen B came in, stopped us, and told us (in a very loud, condescending, talking-to-the-deaf-village-idiot tone) "I'll take care of it from here!" We continued to let the resident down towards her wheelchair, since leaving her up in the air seemed like a bad idea, and we were treated to an "Ahem!" The nurse had some kind of medication disguised in chocolate pudding in her hand, so I guess she was trying to complete her med pass. Well, I said something like "Let us just get her in her chair, and we'll get out of your way." Again, "I'll take care of it from here!" So, we ignored her long enough to get the resident in her chair and then left. I came back later and the lady was still sitting in her sling with her alarms and her seat belt off. I just figured the nurse didn't know to "take care" of these things, so I finished up and got the resident ready to roll.

A few weeks later, Queen B was working as the treatment nurse and was able to take a break and sit at the nurses' station. Another nurse pulled me from my assignment to help with a glut of call lights on another hall with a nice and friendly "Could you help so-and-so out and check on room 10B?" Unfortunately, we were short-handed to the point where I couldn't really take the time, but I did anyway. As I was passing the nurses' station, Queen B chimed in with "Room 3, too!" At this point, I did something I am ashamed of and growled. As I headed down the hall, I noticed the call light at Room 3 wasn't on. This happens sometimes when someone unfamiliar with the system answers lights, so I didn't think anything of it. Then, I get to room 3, and it was EMPTY! I found out later that the the patient had been discharged a couple of days prior. I assumed it was an honest mistake and she just mixed up room 3 and room 5.

Since then, I have had to approach Queen B and ask her questions or tell her something, all having to do with patient care. Each time, she spoke to me in the "village idiot" voice, although, to give her credit, she has used technically polite phrasing.

Last night, we were short-staffed again, and I was struggling with the hardest assignment. I put a resident to bed, was called out for an emergency toileting, and forgot to go back and put the resident's braces on. Another CNA helped me out and put another resident to bed, but didn't put the resident's braces on (probably didn't know to). Queen B goes through both residents' rooms, pulls out their braces and throws them onto their beds. Then she goes out into the hall and starts gossiping loudly with another nurse. As I was passing by, "I don't know WHO is on THIS end of the building, but NO splints are on!" (Seemed like she could have just asked me to put the splints/braces on, or been a team player and helped out and did it herself.) I said back to her, "I haven't had a chance to do it yet, Queen B (of course, I used her name and not Queen B). I'll do it as soon as I can get to it, Queen B." I hoped that would be the end of it.

Today was the topper! We were short-staffed again. Queen B was sitting at the nurses' station again, answering lights and turning them off, and paging me to rooms that don't exist. So I had to search through each room to find out who needed something. She also snarked at me in front of several coworkers about me being needed on the floor, even though it was my scheduled lunch break, because the other CNA on the hall hadn't returned yet from her break (she had been gone nearly an hour - we only get 30 mins.). I was in the break room, standing up and looking out the window, on the alert for call lights, and snacking on trail mix and drinking water because I felt like I was going to pass out. So I went back out on the floor, luckily didn't pass out, and eventually got to eat 3 hours later. Then, after this, I had a patient ask me to talk to Queen B about when her dressing could be changed. So I went, was polite, asked her the patient's question, and she freaking snarled at me!! (Um, obviously I'm still angry at that.)

Normally, I don't have problems like this. I treat my coworkers with respect and usually get the same in return. I am totally in the dark and don't know how to handle this. Any advice would be appreciated.

Thanks!

0 Votes
Specializes in Cardiac Telemetry, ED.

You have options. You could take the direct approach and talk to her about it. If you do this, you should pull her aside privately and phrase your concerns using lots of "I" messages, as in "When you do ________, I feel _________."

Another option is to just keep your nose clean so she has nothing to use against you and keep working hard, avoiding her as much as possible. Maybe one day you will fall off her radar.

Yet another option is to talk to someone who might be able to help, like a supervisor or another nurse that you trust.

Whatever you decide to do, good luck!

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Specializes in LTC, Memory loss, PDN.

Unfortunately, "friendly fire" is part of the battle, just about anywhere. You're already doing the right thing as indicated in the last paragraph of your OP. Perhaps this nurse has never worked as a CNA, perhaps she's just not having any fun. At any rate, my suggestion is to honestly state how you feel. As Virgo said, pull her aside, explain to her what is bothering you and tell her you would really like to have a good working relationship with her. What happens thereafter depends on her reaction.

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Specializes in LTC.

And if that doesn't work go to you DON. If you can talk to her...

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Specializes in Holistic and Aesthetic Medicine.

I know it's hard but she's trying to push your buttons to get a response. Don't give her the response she's looking for. The next time she's rude, instead of feeling like it's about you. Remember, her emotions are about her. Stop what you are doing and say something like, "Are you OK? I'm really worried about you because I know you're a kind person and you aren't acting very kind right now. Is there anything I can do to help you?" It totally disarms people when you show concern for them instead of playing the hostility game she's been playing.

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I know it's hard but she's trying to push your buttons to get a response. Don't give her the response she's looking for. The next time she's rude, instead of feeling like it's about you. Remember, her emotions are about her. Stop what you are doing and say something like, "Are you OK? I'm really worried about you because I know you're a kind person and you aren't acting very kind right now. Is there anything I can do to help you?" It totally disarms people when you show concern for them instead of playing the hostility game she's been playing.

Oooh... I like this one!

You have already gotten some wonderful advice, so I will chime in with a "Good Luck!!!". :redpinkhe

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Thank you everyone! I'm glad to know it's not just me.

I will follow your advice and pull her aside the next time she gets out of hand, while keeping my nose clean so she has nothing to target.

Unfortunately, our facility is going through an almost total management changeover, from the administrator down, and we don't have a DON right now. We have one ADON, though, and I might ask her for some advice.

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