This is a vent so hold on to your keyboards!

  1. Ok , I was reading a post a few mins ago about a woman whose advisior in school told her that maybe Nursing isnt for her. At first, I was thinking to myself, yaknow that is so frikkin selfish of that advisor telling this poor woman she is not nursing material.

    Then it hit me!!! I Am so sick and frikkin tired of people bashing others dreams!! What the heck is wrong with people?

    Who is this guy/girl to tell someone that they cant follow their dreams?

    I think im p-off because I have 3 kid a husb. work parttime and go to schoolfull time (like most of you) and people would say to me... why do you want to be a nurse? Isnt it hard to go to school with 3 kids, etc..? Why dont you wait untill your kid are out of the house...blah blah blah... People just dont get!

    All it takes is that little seed of doubt planted in someone who is not that sure of themself and possibly ruin a future _____ (fill in the blank)

    Is anybody out there reading this relating? Please dont tell me I'm the only one?

    I feel so much better... thx for letting me vent
    :kiss :kiss

    Happy
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  2. 21 Comments

  3. by   SmilingBluEyes
    Oh, yes, it can get tough. I know as a military vet and now a nurse, just how tough people can be on us. Let me tell you a story :

    When I had nearly done all my pre-req's for nursing I applied for nursing school. The director peered at me over her glasses (did not know me from Adam and was one scary looking lady) and said, "what makes you think you will stand a chance getting in my program? I have dozens of applicants to go through and only 25 slots. " I was stymied but recovered quickly.

    I said, "Nothing special leads me to think I will get in, but if not your program this time, maybe I will gain entry into another one at a later date when the time is right. Does not matter; I burn to be a nurse and a nurse I will be one day". And I walked out. I was not accepted that year. Crushed.

    I finished all my Associate's degree work and re-applied to the same program next year. This was a rural area and there are not a lot of choices of colleges/nursing programs, understand. Well, I was accepted this time and graduated in 1997. So do I let others crush me? No. Will they try? Oh yes, they did all through the program.

    There is the saying: "Life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it". Well, if you take this attitude, then you QUICKLY see that even though others will try, they cannot crush your hopes and dreams if you don't let them. So don't. You can't change how they are what they do, but you CAN do something about how YOU REACT when they do hurt you. Best wishes and chin-up.
  4. by   Jen2
    I honestly think others are sometimes jealouse of those who do accomplich their goals. There are those people out there who refuse to finish anything in their life and loathe those who do. Misery loves company and the biggest revenge is success.
  5. by   colleen10
    I think the T.V. show "Everybody Loves Raymond" put it best. These types of people are "Dream Squashers".

    Growing up I had a pretty easy and happy life. My family is a bunch of really nice people, our neighbors were really nice people, the school district I went to and all of my friends were nice happy people from nice happy families. All were supportive of everyone.

    Then, when I get out into the real world, man was I in for a surprise. There are a lot of unhappy people out there who don't know better or were never raised to be nice to others and if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.

    I think these people are most unhappy with themselves and try to take it out on other people who are happier and have more drive than they. What they feel they lack as far as brains, personality, ambition, etc. whatever, they see in others and try to demolish it. If they turned all that negative energy into something positive for themselves, they would be much happier.

    The only thing I have found to help myself around this is to just try my best to ignore them and don't talk to them. So far, it's been working pretty well, although this means that I don't speak to anyone in my office at all, including my boss, but what are you gonna do? Truly, if you don't have anything nice to say I'd rather not talk to you. You shouldn't have to subject yourself to others negativity and bad manners just because they were never raised better.
  6. by   colleen10
    Disclaimer:

    I am not currently a nurse, just a nursing student working my way through school. I work with a bunch of neanderthol men in a sales office, not related in any way to medicine. If I had my choice I would not work here at all, but with the economy the way it is I have no choice.

    That said, I would never not talk to my boss or co-workers if it endangered my patients lives. If I worked with people like that I would just quit and find some where else to work with nicer people.

    Just wanted to let you know where I am coming from so you don't think that I am a bad nurse or really bad employee.
  7. by   Nurse Shark
    I agree with you.... There are alot of people in the world who hate to see others acheive their dreams. I don't know if it's insecurity or just spitefulness but it sucks.... I recently had a nurse recruiter tell me I would never be able to get into the field I want( OR or PACU) because my GPA in nursing school is only a 3.6. It was during an interview fora Patient Care Tech position(im still in nursing school) but she made me feel like I was some idiot student who was living in a dream world. I got the PCT job but I know I'll still have to deal with the same evil recruiter next year when I graduate and do apply for an RN position. You have too just move on, I guess........
  8. by   MandyInMS
    Originally posted by Jen2
    I honestly think others are sometimes jealouse of those who do accomplich their goals. There are those people out there who refuse to finish anything in their life and loathe those who do. Misery loves company and the biggest revenge is success.
    My thoughts exactly!!!Tell me I CAN'T and I'll Show your ***...lol
  9. by   ktwlpn
    Originally posted by happystudent
    Ok , I was reading a post a few mins ago about a woman whose advisior in school told her that maybe Nursing isnt for her. At first, I was thinking to myself, yaknow that is so frikkin selfish of that advisor telling this poor woman she is not nursing material.

    Then it hit me!!! I Am so sick and frikkin tired of people bashing others dreams!! What the heck is wrong with people?

    Who is this guy/girl to tell someone that they cant follow their dreams?

    I think im p-off because I have 3 kid a husb. work parttime and go to schoolfull time (like most of you) and people would say to me... why do you want to be a nurse? Isnt it hard to go to school with 3 kids, etc..? Why dont you wait untill your kid are out of the house...blah blah blah... People just dont get!

    All it takes is that little seed of doubt planted in someone who is not that sure of themself and possibly ruin a future _____ (fill in the blank)

    Is anybody out there reading this relating? Please dont tell me I'm the only one?

    I feel so much better... thx for letting me vent
    :kiss :kiss

    Happy
    As for the poster's situation with her advisor-students get flunked out of nursing programs every day- deservedly so.We don't know this student's situation-she may have done something to endanger a patients life-the advisor may feel that she needs to mature before attempting a program.Or-she could be a blithering idiot-do you want someone like her caring for your loved one?..Your situation is entirely different.As a woman today YOU set your priorities and manage your life to suit yourself and the needs of your family.You will never please everyone-as you get older you will find it is easier to ignore remarks like that.Come up with a few stock answers for them....smile and walk away knowing that you are following your dream-Good LUck....
  10. by   AHarri66
    How's this one?

    I was a single mom on Welfare (the absolute WORST time of my life) and decided to go back to school for nursing. My case worker actually told me, "Why bother going for nursing? There's a glut of nurses right now and you'll never get a job."

    !!!!

    I just looked at her and said, "I found what I want to do, that's why. I plan to specialize on top of that. And besides, the way things are going, by the time I graduate there will be a high demand for nurses!"

    I wish I could find that Dream Squasher and shove my salary in her face...'cuz you KNOW I'm making more than her $18,000 per!

    HA!
  11. by   katgurl77
    OH MY GOSH!!

    I go through this alot too!!! I have to say 95% of the people I tell I am going to school to be a nurse are very happy, and extremely supportive (like constantly asking me how's it going? telling me over and over again how happy they are for me...) BUT
    there are a few people who think that first of all their opinion about something is going to change your life's dream (hello??) A guy I work with after knowing I have been in school for A YEAR, says to me yesterday " you don't really wanna be a nurse, do you?"and " are you aware of how hard of a job it is?" and "Why would anyone want to do what you're doing?" Now mind you this is someone whose opinion I wouldn't consider for a second. Did he think I was going to say, "oh, I never thought about it before you said something, you're so smart, thank you for making me realize I should stay in this meaningless, mindless, trivial go nowhere job, you're my hero" but... I just ignored him. People like that will squash everything you tell them "oh you don't want to buy a house---there" or "you're getting married, don't you know 50% of marriage end in divorce?" As if the big decisions in life require almost complete strangers input. OOHH this is a hot topic for me, I could go on forever....

    but I have to say it almost hurts when someone you value disses your decisions (like your dad) ---almost.

    stay strong
  12. by   colleen10
    Katgurl,

    Your post has me LOL! I know EXACTLY what you mean.

    When I first started at my current job (lame corp. job) I was here about two weeks when one of the guys I work for said to me "I'm not going to bother to teach you anything about how to do your job because you'll just get pregnant and leave anyway." I had said maybe 10 words to this bafoon and he comes out with that from now where.

    Then, a few months later when I let on that I am going to nursing school he comes up to me and says "You may have the personality for it (nursing) now but I'd like to see you in 5 years." I don't even know what that means!

    So, I just avoid him like the plague. Aside that I really don't care what he thinks about anything, I just really have no tolerance for rude people. A few months ago I think I finally figured out why he didn't like me from the start. I allready have 1 Bachelor's degree and am currently going back to school again for a 2 year ASN. I found out that he has no education what so ever. Which isn't a big deal to me but apparently it is to him.

    You just have to tell some people to get over themselves. He's 48 years old. His life isn't over. If he really wants it bad enough he will go to school.

    In the mean time, people shouldn't take out their short comings on other people.
  13. by   renerian
    Blue eyes good post.........

    renerian
  14. by   KidsLuvMe
    I agree with all of you... I don't know why people put others down... especially counsleors and advisors (maybe they have seen so many people go on to do great things that they can't take it any more and just want to discourage others from becomming happy). But then again maybe they are just a bump in the road that makes you take a good look at yourself and dig deep down for the thing that keeps you going. Maybe they are supposed to refresh your sense of purpose, even though they don't know it. It would be great if they told you all good and supportive things but then you would just overlook that thing deep down that IS driving you and maybe get lazy or un-interested. Maybe God makes them negative so that you can find your own path and not the one that they want you to go down. I'm thinkin that they are put at the door to ask you if you really want to go in. If you say yes then you go if not then go to another door. Maybe nursing really is the most challenging thing a person could do and there is no escaping difficulty when you have chosen to face it straight on and these counselors are just another piece of the whole puzzle.
    Just don't let them get to you. let their words motivate you, even caution you, but don't at all let them get to you in anything you do.

    Just for the record it really irritates me when people DO say negative stuff when you are feeling so positive and excited and ambitious. mostly I just ignore them or laugh at them and keep going.

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