Things you'd LOVE to be able to tell patients, and get away with it.

calliesue · Dec 14, 2007, 11:18 PM

Re: Things you'd LOVE to be able to tell patients, and get away with it.

One other thing,I have a southern nurse friend who calls everyone
" sugar". She has been overheard telling her rehab pts who don't want to do anything for themselves (not can't but don't want to)< This aint the Hilton Sugar, you need to wheel your self on down to the therapy room.

TazziRN · Dec 14, 2007, 11:35 PM

Re: Things you'd LOVE to be able to tell patients, and get away with it.

I actually did say something once.

Working night shift in the ER, just my tech and me. No pts, doc's asleep, we're watching tv. About 0530 a man carries in his 7-yr-old son. He spent a good 10 minutes berating me (in English) about having to stand outside the ER for 20 minutes before we opened the doors, which were kept locked at night for staff safety. I kept trying to ask him if he had rung the bell but never got an answer. Finally he listened to the umpteenth time I asked him what was wrong with his son, and he asked for a Spanish speaker. I told him my tech was busy at the moment (she really was) and that he was doing fine (spoke broken English but I understood him). He exploded and started yelling at me in Spanish, and finally he yelled in English, "Why don't you speak Spanish??"

That pushed me over the edge, and without thinking I shot back, "Why don't you speak English??"

RosalindRN · Dec 14, 2007, 11:43 PM

Re: Things you'd LOVE to be able to tell patients, and get away with it.

To the obese pt...no I wont be getting you out of bed for the first time so you can fall on me...... Also, dont get mad when it takes me 20 minutes to hunt down four other pep strong enough to turn your big azz and put you on the bedpan.(common complaint of 350lbs plus pts.)

If you called me for nausea meds(phenergan ofcourse) then no I wont be getting you those snacks you wanted....nauseated pep shouldnt eat graham crackers and peanut butter.

To the pts threatening to leave AMA after berating all the staff because we wont cater to your every need .......Dont let the door hit you where the good lord split you....PEACE OUT!!

To the irrate patients that scream..."I'll never come to this hospital again"............ You promise? I mean, can I get that in writing?

No I wont get your husband a Tylenol and no I wont change your disabled incontinent family members brief.....YOU are my patient and we're not running a 2 for 1 special today.........Thank you, exit left.

To all impatient families and patients...yeah I may be big but there isnt really two of me...I cant be in two places at one time. Sit down, shut up, and take a number

AngelfireRN · Dec 14, 2007, 11:45 PM

Re: Things you'd LOVE to be able to tell patients, and get away with it.

No, threatening to leave AMA will not make me bring what ever you want that it's not time for any sooner. I will, however, offer to help you pack.

*Valerie Salva* · Dec 14, 2007, 11:54 PM

Re: Things you'd LOVE to be able to tell patients, and get away with it.

Originally Posted by janhetherington

I would LOVE to say to families, "If you think the doctor should be called for (whatever the minor and/or unreasonable demand is) please go ahead and call him yourself." I'm not talking about important things, which I will be glad to call for. I mean things like, "Where is the doctor? I think Mother could be discharged today and I'm here now so get him in here now." Or: "I know my cousin is getting a lot of pain medicine but he can still talk and I think he'd rather be knocked out so call the doctor to get something for that." Or: "My aunt takes vitamin C once in awhile and I know it's 11 p.m., but I think we should get that ordered tonight." Ughhh.

I have given pts and their families doc's phone numbers and told them they should call. I've done it several times.

*I love my cat!* · Dec 15, 2007, 12:07 AM

Re: Things you'd LOVE to be able to tell patients, and get away with it.

Originally Posted by RosalindRN

No I wont change your disabled incontinent family members brief.....YOU are my patient and we're not running a 2 for 1 special today.........Thank you, exit left.

Honestly....just when I thought I've heard them all! I can't believe anyone would ask that. So rude.

Here are a few I would love to say:
-I don't give a rats rip what the 'internets' says.....this is the procedure and this is how WE do it in this hospital.
-No. I don't think your baby is cute. And no, I am not going to sit here and play clappy-hands and goo-goo face to keep your kids yap shut. As a matter of fact, please take that screamin' demon out of this facility. This isn't a daycare.

The Bell Jar · Dec 15, 2007, 01:04 AM

Re: Things you'd LOVE to be able to tell patients, and get away with it.

The second time you use your call light for something you are able to do for yourself,like pull your blanket up,fluff your pillow lift your glass to your lips with your perfectly fine hands, your call light will distribute a minor electrical shock to you kind of like a cattle prod.

But more importantly,I would like to tell one or two of my co workers that they are ugly on the inside.

dbsn00 · Dec 15, 2007, 02:46 AM

Re: Things you'd LOVE to be able to tell patients, and get away with it.

No I wont get your husband a Tylenol and no I wont change your disabled incontinent family members brief.....YOU are my patient and we're not running a 2 for 1 special today.........Thank you, exit left.

Do we work at the same place?

*AprilRNhere* · Dec 15, 2007, 04:50 AM

Re: Things you'd LOVE to be able to tell patients, and get away with it.

Originally Posted by dbsn00

No I wont get your husband a Tylenol and no I wont change your disabled incontinent family members brief.....YOU are my patient and we're not running a 2 for 1 special today.........Thank you, exit left.

Do we work at the same place?

And yet....."May I offer your *insert family member* an ativan?" would be SUCH a nice option wouldn't it?

rph3664 · Dec 15, 2007, 06:30 AM

Re: Things you'd LOVE to be able to tell patients, and get away with it.

Originally Posted by The Bell Jar

But more importantly,I would like to tell one or two of my co workers that they are ugly on the inside.

You will encounter that no matter where you work, as a nurse or anything else.

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Things you'd LOVE to be able to tell patients, and get away with it.

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