Things You'd Like To Tell Visitors . . . . and get away with it - page 7

the other "things you'd like to tell" threads have been so great -- how about one more? to the daughter of today's patient: i understand back pain, believe me. i've had the surgery and was off... Read More

  1. by   travel50
    The "tv remote in the vagina" story reminded me of the time a resident's son walked down to find a nurse rather than push the call light. He couldn't find the call light. We had to tell him where his mom kept the call light. He was totally grossed out.
  2. by   FireStarterRN
    TV remote in vagina?

    How utterly Freudian...
  3. by   GooeyRN
    Quote from CanuckStudent
    Don't MDs prescribe morphine 'off label' as a respiratory depressant for already compromised terminal patients to hasten death? They will increase the amount if the patient is 'restless'.

    Or am I misunderstanding?

    I'm sure lots of people request extra morphine for their in-laws.
    Um, no. We aren't allowed to kill people. Make them more comfy and their respirations slowed/stopped? Yes. Intentionally doing that? No.
  4. by   RNDreamer
    I saw the pain in your eyes when your wife looked at you, then looked at me and asked me who you were. I saw the tears in your eyes when she then started calling out for your dead son. When your heart broke, so did mine. I'm so sorry.
  5. by   pinksugar
    Quote from fuzzywuzzy
    "Who the F is your mother?" I'd like to say that to those people who come up to me at random and start asking if their mom can do this or that, and I have no clue who Mom is because I've never seen her kids before.
    LOL!!! I don't know why but this irritates me to no end! When some random visitor comes up and starts asking about their mom I usually say "And she is??" and then they give me a sheepish look and say "Oh, Ms. So-and-So". It also happens that their mother is never one of my patients. I just tell them that patient info is on a need to know basis, and since I am not caring for Ms. So-and-so I know nothing about her.
  6. by   DolceVita
    Quote from Virgo_RN
    If just one more relative asks me what time the stress test is tomorrow, my head is going to explode.
    Ha you can tell them that you are experiencing one everytime they ask!
  7. by   ShayRN
    If you think I am starving and/or killing your loved one with morphine and you just know that they would be better off at home, then by all means, take them. I will call the ambulance to transport and DME to have the bed delivered, yes, I can do that tonight.
  8. by   Virgo_RN
    Yes, I am asking you to keep your leg straight because I like to torture people. It has nothing to do with that sheath in the second largest artery in your body.
  9. by   Sterren
    Your advice is not only unhelpful, it is WRONG. No, your precious 15 year old angel who's pregnant should not start pushing as hard as she can when her cervix is only dialated to 3cm. Yes, I really do know what I am talking about.

    Stop giving such bad advice, or go home. Or even better, do both.
  10. by   Fiona59
    Use the freaK**g call bell! Do not stand in the doorway and tell me to "get him a gown". I've got a box of morphine in my hand and my patient needs pain control more than your brother needs a clean gown. Hell, pick one up off the linen cart and do it yourself. Your brother is flat out lazy. He's been cleared by PT to walk unlimited distances, can have a full diet and can walk to the nursing station for ice and juice but why should he when he gets you to do it all for him?

    Oh, and by the way, he's going home tomorrow, hope you enjoy being his slave because you sure as sh*t are not promoting his independence.
  11. by   Virgo_RN
    Your husband is an @$$####.
  12. by   Altra
    To the family member who was a drug rep ... who interrupted his holding up the doorway of his mother's room to physically put his hands on the EKG machine I was pushing down the hallway to ask, "who makes that?" (the machine):

    I don't give a rat's ass about your curiousity about the market share of various equipment vendors right now. Stopping me in the hallway like this is about as physically aggressive as you can be without actually touching me, so get your hands off this machine IMMEDIATELY. I'm about to do a 12-lead on a pt. who is suddenly having active chest pain & looks like crap. You have 2 seconds to let go before I run you over.

    (what I actually did, to save time, was to give him my Death Stare while pulling the machine out of his grip and making the left wheels do a wheelie to get around him without running over his foot)
  13. by   VivaLasViejas
    Sorry, you must have mistaken me for a waitress---NO, I don't have napkins on my med cart, and NO, I don't have time to run all the way down to the kitchen to fetch them for you. Do you see this syringe I'm holding here? That spells N-U-R-S-E.

    Sorry, you must have mistaken me for a secretary---NO, I can't transfer you to Mrs. Smith's room, she doesn't have a phone, and NO, I can't just pull an extra phone out of a non-existent drawer and go plug it in, and NO, I'm not going to call the phone company and have a line put in, that's up to her family. And HELL NO, I'm not going to stand there and hold the cordless up to her ear while you talk to her for half an hour---I've got 26 other people to take care of!!

    Sorry, you must have mistaken me for the janitor---NO, I can't stop my med pass to straighten your mother's bedside table and mop the floor, and NO, it's not my job to clean toilets.

    Sorry, you must have mistaken me for the administrator---NO, I don't know how the cable TV contract works, and NO, I'm not going to call the cable company to find out for you because a) I've got 12 blood sugars to check and insulins to give, and b) it's Saturday, and they're CLOSED, duh.

    Sorry, you must have mistaken me for a miracle worker---NO, I can't 'fix' your dad, he's 83 years old, demented, and he's dying because he spent half his life inside a bottle, smoked like a chimney until last year, and ate half a pound of bacon every morning for longer than I've been alive. He's had a longer life than many who took far better care of themselves..........I can keep him comfortable, but I'm NOT going to advocate for a feeding tube.