Things You'd Like To Tell Visitors . . . . and get away with it

Though usually not explicit, most legal systems have a principle consistent with the Doctrine of Double Effect. You can give a potentially lethal dose of narcotic of your intent is to relieve pain, distress etc, even if death is a foreseeable consequence. You can not give a potentially lethal dose of narcotic to kill someone. even in palliative care the concept is symptom relief. If the intent was speeding up death we would just give potassium.

Don't berate me, as I am trying to complete central line care on your loved one, who is terminally ill. I am just trying to do my job.

And, don't get an attitude, when I honestly tell you that I do not know the answer to every question you ask me about her condition.

And, if you want to report me for telling you that I am not a doctor, when you demand to know "why don't I know?",
be my guest. The phone's right over there. You want my supervisor's phone number?

Better yet, why don't you just leave? You are not only visibly upsetting the person you "claim" to care so much about, but are also interfering with her care.

I'm sorry, that word on the front of the building says HOSPITAL not HOTEL. They both start with H, sorry you got confused.

No, you can't take Mom home so she can write checks and go to the bank and then come and "check her back in" -- this is acute care. Go get a job and stop living off of her.

No, you can't have the room across from the nurse's station. We are not your private tv channel to watch, and we use those rooms by the nurse's station for people who really are sick, not people like you who check in to get more attention from hubby.

When I ask you if you've done any illegal drugs during your admission, please remember I have access to your drug screen. I know what you've done, I'm now checking your ability to tell me the truth. Which you just failed.

Soda machines are DOWN THE HALL, ma'am, sir. And yes, sodas are $1.25.

Don't have my barmaid hat on today, sorry.

Also, coffee is just one floor down. It will take you 2 minutes to go down and get a fresh cup. I dont have time to "put on another pot." Got other patients today to take care of.

And then every now and then, we have a visitor or a family member who just makes our day so much better.
1. The daughter who is crying b/c her father just passed...and she takes the time to see that we are crying too, and gives hugs all around, thanking us for caring for him for the past 5 yrs. We loved him too.
2. The Sunday morning visiting church group who stops on the way out to tell us how much they like coming to see us b/c our residents are always clean...then she comes back and leaves a box of chocolates for each shift.
3. The child who comes with his grandmother to visit his grandfather, who tugs on my jacket and says, "When I get big, I want to do what you do. I want to make people feel better."
4. Mr. P's daughter who is always laughing, always such a delight...comes up and says, "Well, I hate to make your day worse, but Mr. C's is in the floor...again!" She is never critical, never grouchy...can I clone her???
5. The daughter, visiting Mom, who says, "Daddy, get up and get out of that nurse's way. Can't you see that she needs room to work on mama?"
6. That same daughter, who when she sees her drugged up brother coming in, says, "You better get your stupid a** out of here, 'fore I flat tear it up...I ain't playin'!!! These nurses ain't fixin' to deal with you!" That is when I say, Thank you Lord!!!

I've had all the obnoxious visitors mentioned. They are beyond irritating. But some are so good, that I wanted to share them too.

"Visiting hours are OVER now"

Wish I could say that -- but alas, it is 24/7 visiting hours are our facility. They are free to come and go as they please, literally LIVE at the hospital for as long as their loved one is there.

Doesn't matter how many are there. Doesn't seem to matter if theyr'e annoying OTHER patients, though, in the same room. I don't get this.

Up here, it's fairly common to see morphine written q4h and then q1h prn in addition to some loxapine q1h prn. We all know why the order is written that way, we just don't tell the family, because sure as sh*t one distant relative will question the order and tell us we are trying to kill the patient and tell us to hold the morphine. We had one old soul who was begging to die and his brother (who he hadn't seen in three years) decided he knew best and wanted to go to the hospital ethics board about the "overuse" of morphine.

Frankly, I alway want to ask those winners where they got their medical education...

Yes. I can't tell you how much this happens. Why can't people GET that they have a nurse DESIGNATED TO THEM for the day -- that each and every nurse is NOT their nurse?

I have had people get down right rude and snotty with me about patients I've never even seen before.

I swear people check their brains at the door of the hospital when they come in to visit!

DON'T snap your fingers at me to get my attention, or make "tch-tch"ing noises at me as I walk by in the hallway... I am a human being, not a dog! Use the call light in the patient's room!!! (if it's an emergency I can understand... but this SO was not!!!)

You're misunderstanding. So as not to derail the thread, check out the forum on hospice nursing or do a search on morphine and the dying patient.