Things that make you go hmm.......

  1. Thoughts to ponder....

    Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?
    why is the man who invest all your money called a "broker"?
    why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic wins lottery"?
    why doesn't the glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
    why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

    Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance
    that little indestructible black box is?

    How come abbreviated is such a looong word?
    If a cow laughed would milk come out of her nose?

    If it is true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the OTHERS here for?

    If FED EX and UPS were to merge, would they call it FED UP?

    What hair color do they list on the driver's license of bald men?

    Why do soo many old people eat at cafeterias?

    If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with "quit while you're ahead"?

    I guess I'd better quit while I'm ahead!
    :roll
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  2. 15 Comments

  3. by   Rustyhammer
    If a parsley farmer can't pay his bills...do they garnish his wages?

    If they can take out 300+ calories out of a can of coke....why can't they take that last stubborn one out?

    If you fart in church...will you have to sit in your own pew?
    -Russell
  4. by   Nurz2B
    LOL:chuckle
  5. by   jevans
    RUSTYHAMMER

    SOOOOOOOOOO FUNNY
    :roll :roll :roll :roll
    j
  6. by   Nurz2B
    Wake up everybody........come out and play:roll
    I know there are some more good ones out there!
    Ya'll are just holdin out on me:chuckle
  7. by   whipping girl in 07
    You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friend's nose.

    Some oxymorons:
    Long shorts
    Military intelligence
    Jumbo shrimp

    Hmmm, I'm getting hungry!

  8. by   dianah
    Aww, you've all seen this one (I paraphrase, I fear):

    If a man speaks in a forest, is he still wrong?? (oooo, sorry Russell)
  9. by   bandaidexpert
    Constipated People Don't Give A crap .

    If You Drink, Don't Park. Accidents Cause People.

    Who Lit The Fuse On Your Tampon?

    Please Tell Your Pants It's Not Polite To Point.

    If That Phone Was Up Your Butt,
    Maybe You Could Drive A Little Better.

    If At First You Don't Succeed,
    Blame Someone Else And Seek Counseling!

    Impotence: Nature's Way Of Saying "No Hard Feelings".

    It's Not How You Pick Your Nose, But Where You Put The Booger.

    This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren't Happening To Me

    If We Quit Voting, Will They All Go Away?

    Illiterate? Write For Help

    You! Out Of The Gene Pool!

    If Sex Is A Pain In The butt, Then You're Doing It Wrong...

    Fight Crime: Shoot Back!

    Body By Nautilus; Brain By Mattel

    ow Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down...
    Before He Admits He is lost?

    Some people are alive only because it is illegal to shoot them






  10. by   Rustyhammer
    We should go into the bumper sticker biz.
    -Russell
  11. by   pkmom
    he who stands in front of car gets tired.

    he who stands behind car gets exhausted
  12. by   kids
    If you choke a Smurf what color does it turn?


    How do Porky-pines do "it"? (embarrassingly, I know the answer to this one)
  13. by   alwaysthere
    not quite sure if it fits, and guys i love all of you (just not in the linen closet!)

    why are guys attracted to smart girls?
    opposites attract.
  14. by   joyflnoyz
    If "pro" is the opposite of "con", is Congress the opposite of progress?

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