That's it, I'm OUT.

Mijourney · Apr 22, 2001

Originally posted by kday:
Okay, I quit. I've had it. These past two weeks at work have sucked so royally I can't even begin to speak about them. I've come home every morning, lay in bed, and sat there thinking to myself, 'is there anything else out there for me to do?'

Reading threads like, 'get my girl down here...' coupled with the constant stream of fire I seem to be under at work is just getting to be too much. I find myself constantly asking myself...IS THIS REALLY WORTH IT?? I don't sleep well, I'm depressed all the time, and my irritable bowel syndrome is totally off the charts...an obvious sign of stress.

I just keep wondering why in the hell I stay in a job that just makes me want to blow my brains out on a regular basis. I dunno...things just seem to be getting really bad in nursing, really quickly. It's like in the past couple of weeks there has been this huge downward spiral and things are going from bad to worse. Look at the posts on this board!!

I'm tired. I'm sick. I don't enjoy going to work any more. I want to have a normal life and spend holidays and nights with my husband. Know what I fantasize about? Having a job where I sit behind a desk, get a scheduled one hour lunch break every day, come home by sunset every night, and NEVER, EVER work during the holidays. Yes, I'd probably be bored silly...but I just have this nagging thought in the back of my mind that won't go away...IS THIS REALLY WORTH IT???

I've decided to start job-hunting. Maybe I'll go work in a nice lab somewhere and look at stuff under a microscope all day. Maybe I'll go back to school and get my MBA or something...there has to be something out there that's rewarding, challenging, mentally stimulating, and scientifically fascinating that doesn't require me ending up feeling like crap all the time.

Sorry guys...just needed to throw this out there.

Hi kday. I just read in a Detroit newspaper article that the number of nurses leaving nursing have gone from 1 in 20 about two decades ago to 1 in 5 today. That's scary. By the time we need around the clock health and medical assistance, there won't be any nursing staff to provide it.

Have you tried to apply for a corporate type job? Other areas within your hospital that don't deal with direct patient care? I use to work for an insurance company for a short while and was able to get nice lunch breaks and leave at reasonable hours. I left that setting, because I could not completely adjust to the corporate mentality, and I missed taking care of patients. It may work for you however. Best wishes.

Q. · Apr 22, 2001

Kristina honey, I read your post and honestly have absolutely nothing to say. I can't convince you to stay in the field, because I know how you feel. I have been job hunting for about 2 years - and STILL haven't found what I'm looking for.

Let me tell you of my experiences.

I left full-time nursing with the same mindset that you have right now. I got a job at an insurance company - a salaried position that paid $3 more an hour than I was making at the hospital. I worked M-F, 8-4, got free lunch, and carpooled with my husband. I got to wear normal, professional clothes instead of stinky, wrinkly scrubs. Was I happy? Within the first 3 months, I knew I wasn't. I found that my work was very dull - I didn't mind sitting behind a desk, although I did gain 15 lbs, but I found that I was also working next to 50 year old crotchy females who were doing the same job I was (record review). This company promoted from within, so chances are that I was working with a person who simply climbed the ladder, without any formal education. I wasn't recognized as a nurse, had to listen to essentially uneducated people tell me what kind of medical problem these insurance applicants had, etc. It was a living nightmare. I searched for a job for about a year, and could not find a thing. I finally decided that the job was SO bad that to go back to nursing in the interim was better. So I got another per diem gig at a small community hospital, thinking I had the upper hand here. I could regulate my hours, didn't have to work holidays and all that crap, and this particular hospital was MUCH better than the large teaching hospital that I worked at since grad. I have been doing this now for about 8 months and found it is just the same. To get 40 hours, I have to flex between all 3 shifts - and when I am there, (especially at the teaching hospital) we get cracked up moms, overtime, etc. It still sucks, even when it's not on Christmas Eve or the weekends.

Then there are the times, like Friday, a 12 hour shift, where my patient was SO complementary to me and made me feel good about myself. I didn't even think I was doing all that great of a job, and here she said "I was so glad I got you as a nurse - you are so kind and thorough" Funny thing was, I picked HER! She had a nice labor, beautiful delivery, etc. And then I liked my job.

May 7 I am starting a new full time job at a clinic. I basically will be a phone nurse, taking requests for Rx refills and calling them into pharmacies. M-F 9-5, no holidays, weekends, etc. Crappy pay, but pretty good for a clinic. I will always work per diem in labor and delivery, to keep up my skills, and because a part of me loves it. But still, the clinic isn't really want I want to do either. I decided that what I really want is just a job - just a job that gives me a paycheck to keep my lifestyle that I have and enjoy my LIFE. My life, meaning my husband, family, my home, gardening, travel, maybe children one day. THAT is what is important, which is what allowed me to accept this phone nurse position. Is it challenging? Doesn't seem to be. Does it allow me to have a life? Yes. From what I hear, all the nurses are very happy there. I can wear my own fun scrubs and do my hair and wear SOME makeup (as compared to 3rd shift)

Ultimately, I think I want to get my Masters and teach in the community (prenatal care, or sexual assault prevention) That would be more interesting - but again, all I really want in life is a wonderful family - my job is really nothing to me. Going to school might even be too much effort. I just want to live and collect a paycheck. A clinic will let me do that.

So basically, Kristina, what I have learned is that in EVERY job there is some crap no matter what profession. I have learned not to find happiness or satisifaction in ANY job that I have because I will forever be sorely disappointed. My life is outside of work and will always be. My suggestion to you is find a nice little nursing job that you can tolerate, maybe swallow a paycut, and try to change your mindset. Allow yourself to live your life.

I hope this helps you.

bestblondRN · Apr 22, 2001

I agree with Mijourney. Have you thought about trying something within healthcare, but out of the trenches? Some job roles that come to mind are case management, insurance case management, pharmaceutical or medical sales, management, education, etc. I have been at the point you're at several times, and I've had some great experiences as a result. I just couldn't stay out of the acute care environment and found I missed it a lot when I was in other settings. At least we're in a profession where there are options! Best of luck to you--I hope you find something you can enjoy.

janbeveridge · Apr 22, 2001

I wish you the best. Maybe also consider some counselling. I don't mean to necessarily stay in nursing, but to see what opportunities are available to you. Our experience and education are tremendous. If you feel you need to get out or to make a change, go for it! The sad fact is, is that very often management does not give a damn about a person, as long as there is a body to fill a position. I am lucky in that I have a pretty decent unit manager, who has been willing to negotiate with me in terms of the hours I work (I work part-time and still get benefits etc.)I feel that I'm appreciated. I hope it works out for you. Take care of yourself!!! jan

realnursealso/LPN, LPN · Apr 22, 2001

KDAY, Hugs, hugs hugs to you. I'm so sorry you are so distressed. I've felt the same way about nursing as you. I know the feeling, about wanting a mindless job....just be able to do my job and go home. No hassles, work 9-5, no holidays or weekends. I don't have any magic words to tell you or any rememdies to make it all go away. I've been a nurse for 21yrs,and except for the first few yrs. have not been totally happy either. If you are really so unhappy please do something to make yourself smile. Do you have any vacation coming, or pl days? Take some and think about what you really want to do. Take a little time to care for yourself for a change instead of worrying about other people all the time. If you don't have any time coming, on your next day off, go do what you want for the whole day . Don't worry about anyone or anything...just yourself. Hope you feel better about things soon. And if you really hate your job, quit it and get another. Just don't be so sad anymore. We nurses have to stick together and support each other.

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CEN35 · Apr 23, 2001

Kristine,

I can't say anything to change your mind. You have sen my post "Today sucks", or under "what other jobs have you had". I have done lots, and there is always something that sucks, no matter the job. I like my job yet and try my best, and someday maybe I'll go back to school when my kids are older, and maybe not? I always had this saying, nothing keeps you confined to your curent job. Anybody can do anything at all, depending how bad you want it.

I hope you are feeling better, and a little more cheery--> SMILE

Rick

JennieBSN · Apr 23, 2001

Hello all...

Thanks so much for your support and sage advice, especially the folks in the chat room...you know who you are. I'm stillnot sure what I'm going to do...I've unfortunately realized that I probably won't EVER totally leave bedside nursing, but for the moment, am looking in to getting out of it full time at least.

Hope this topic didn't totally bum everyone out...I felt like I needed to 'talk' to some fellow nurses about it before I did anything hasty.

Anyway, thanks you guys for everything. See you on the board!

Kristina

Sylvia · Apr 23, 2001

Hi. I know how you feel. I left my job as a charge nurse with 38 patients, 4 aides and NO support from management three years ago. I have been with the agencies ever since and I have worked in many different settings.

I worked in a doctor's office for 6 months. I actually had a desk, a lunch hour and left at 5:00 unless we were unusually busy (and that was rare). I had every weekend and every holiday off.

I left because I couldn't handle following a doctor around all day long and I hated the typing/filing/answering the phone part of the job. But I know of other nurses who love that atmosphere.

There is also the home health option, where you work with one patient at a time. Again, I find it a little too boring, but I know nurses who love it. (Maybe I'm just too hard to please!)

At any rate, please take care of yourself first. If your job makes you that unhappy, it is NOT worth it!!!

Good luck

Malee38 · Apr 24, 2001

Kday, I actually hurt for you, I have walked in those shoes. you know what I did...I QUIT!! (that job anyway). I had left a job for political reason after 12yrs. All the time not know what I would do. When out of the blue came what sounded like an ideal job as ADON in a retirement facility. Ideal M-F 7-3, 8-4, whenever to whenever, no weekends, etc. Boy was I wrong about "ideal". I loved the people that worked under me, loved the patients, but was so stepped on by administration I couldn't stand it. I dreaded going to work. I stuck it out 10 months. During those 10 months ..nothing, and I mean nothing I did was right. Administration would have me rewrite staff evaluations to suit them. One day I came in too early, the next day to late. Was even accused of not being a team-player because I would not volunteer in the kitchen when they were short staffed. But I stuck it out because I felt the job was where I was "meant" to be. I was so miserable. Finally, I went in and just quit. Told the Admin I was sure it was no secret I was unhappy. I was unhappy because I was not allowed to really do my job, I did what he dictated. Not only did he accept my resignation, but gave me severance pay. And this from a man with no medical background that challenged my opinion on testing everyone for MRSA....like we weren't short enough. Even though I did not know where my next paycheck would come from, I walked out of there happier than I could recall being in the past year. Today, although I still am not where I want to be (not really sure where that is), I know I did the right thing, and I can at least hold my head up and go home in the afternoons with a smile instead of dread of tomorrow. It took a lot of courage and a lot of faith to do what I did, and it may not be for you, but I am so glad I acted on faith and did not waste any more of the short life we have. Keep your chin up, try to be optimistic, and believe in Divine Guidence (not easy, but can be done). I hope you find some relief soon, in the meantime...be good to yourself. Malee

goldilocksrn · Apr 24, 2001

I went through the same thing before, and was unable to find a permanent FT job to suit my needs, so I got a per diem job and quit picking up extra shifts at the hospital that I work. The change of scenery was helpful, and gave me more days off my normal job to recuperate. Maybe you could try that.

hoolahan, ASN, RN · Apr 24, 2001

kday, I have been there!! I now do home health, and although many people think it is horrible because of the paperwork, I felt like I finally had a life back. I did the office CM thing too, but returned to home health because I experienced a freedom in practice and scheduling like nothing else. I am broke now, I need extra cash, and I am also employed by an agency that does staffing for critical care units, yet I can't make myself signup for more shifts, b/c the thought of working in the hospital makes me totally nauseous now. Check out the link to my web site, read about the options available in HH nursing, maybe you will see something you like. But if money is important to you, don't bother. HH nursing is the worst paid of all.

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MargaretH....Home Health Nurse