Support for life support?

Nurses General Nursing

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I was talking with my Mom the other day, and I strongly expressed my desire to be taken off life support if there is no chance of recovery and if I am brain dead. In response to this, she said: "well you wouldn't know anyway" meaning that if I am brain dead, I won't know whether or not I'm on life support, so she would keep me on it. I found this to be incredibly disrespectful and our conversation got pretty heated - the likes of which I won't be posting! :chuckle

This got me thinking about how other nurses and health care professionals viewed such a thing. I don't know about the laws regarding life support and who is able to take a pt off of it, etc, as I am just a student. So... what are your wishes if you were in a situation like that, as either the pt or as the loved one? I don't have a living will or any legal document stating what my wishes are if I am unable to make my own decisions. So if you knew that I didn't want to be kept on life support, but my Mom told you to keep me on it anyway, how would you handle such a situation? Would your religious beliefs have an effect on what advice you would give to the family? What advice would you give to a family debating on whether or not to keep their loved one alive?

(I'm OK with debate, theological or otherwise, as long as everyone remains respectful of each other and all that business. Unless a mod says otherwise, let the opinions fly!)

Specializes in CAMHS, acute psych,.
if your mother doesn't agree with your views and is up front that she won't comply with your wishes, appoint someone else to be your power of attorney for health care. a sibling, and aunt, uncle or grandparent -- even a close friend. be sure they know in advance what your wishes would be. you can bypass your immediate famiy! i've done it.

at one level i agree with you - the woman is her own mistress. however, let's not start a premature family war here - she is only 23; it's highly unlikely she will need such a poa at this point - she's a thoughtful, sensible person unlikely to take foolish risks (that said, yes, accidents happen).

op if you take the route suggested by ruby, please do it in the spirit of "i love you to bits, mom, and i can't bear to force you to make this decision" rather than in the spirit of "if you won't honour my wishes, others will!"

. o o o o (thinking of my mother and my dead brother)

- she is only 23; it's highly unlikely she will need such a POA at this point - she's a thoughtful, sensible person unlikely to take foolish risks

This is exactly how many of these conflicts arise. People don't think anything will happen to them and are left unprepared when they do.

Specializes in Psychiatric.

Everyone in my family and all my friends and coworkers know that if I have little or no chance for recovery or quality of life, they are to let me go. Fortunately for me, my entire family feels the same way about this situation as I do, so if any of them is ever in that situation, the decision will be at least a TAD easier.

Specializes in CAMHS, acute psych,.
This is exactly how many of these conflicts arise. People don't think anything will happen to them and are left unprepared when they do.

And very practical, too. The main point of my post was to offer the opinion that it may be helpful to the OP to do some work on building her relationship with her mother, rather than to get on her dig and continue the fight.

Cheers

Specializes in SRNA.
I also think if we as caregivers weren't so afraid to actually let the families know what is going on with the pt. instead of sugarcoating it, the expected outcome the family has would often be of reality instead of fantasy.... Medical doctors are the worse when it comes to this. IMHO of course....

This is my pet peeve! Working in the ICU, it is often said of the patients that they're doing just fine, or they're doing good, when really what the nurse or MD is saying is "they're stable at this moment." Sometimes, "the patient is doing really good!" can be translated to "I'm amazed there was no code blue during my shift!"

When asked how a person's loved one is, I usually respond, "he/she is critically ill and on life support." If they were doing "good" or "fine" they wouldn't be in the ICU. Not to say that I don't give family members hope...it's important to say things like "his vital signs have been stable throughout my shift" or "his fever is gone at this time"...don't squash hope, but don't create false hope by saying 'he's great!"

Specializes in Education, Medical-Surgical.
Sometimes, "the patient is doing really good!" can be translated to "I'm amazed there was no code blue during my shift!"

Exactly!!!

When I was in the 1st year of my nursing school, my dad underwent his second operation for colon cancer. Since it was an "open & close" case, we were left w/ no hope of seeing him out of the ICU. The last 3 weeks of his life was a misery, he was not ready to go, and he was a strong, higly opinionated man. For 3 weeks, he was conscious, alert, but the only thing he can move were his eyes and arms. I can't imagine how frustrated he was :( On the 16th of July, the doctor informed me that he had shown signs of impending death, and asked me to consider DNR. I was second from the youngest, and my entire family relied on me to write the DNR (not sign, but write what I don't want the health team to do). Here in the Philippines, DPA, living will, and advanced directives are seen in TVs only. After he assured me that he was good to go, I made a DNR while he was having an arrest...

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