STUPID PARENTS!! (vent here)

Nurses General Nursing

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This may not belong in this forum but it will have nursing issues involved. On October 30th my 9yo child was ran down by another child on his mountain bike. I say ran down because this is what he did---chased her through our yard with her screaming noooo go away!!!! She fell down, he ran her over, broke her arm approx 3 inches below the head of the Humerus, then rode on home with her left screaming bloddy murder in our yard. I took her to the ER where I work and the xray showed it was below the growth plate but was displaced a great deal. There was nothing they could do that night about it (very rural hospital). She had to see an orthopedic surgon in the am approx 100miles away. He said there wasn't enough to pin so she had to keep a sling on with a wieghted chunk of plaster hanging on her elbow for traction, no cast or anything. She missed out on the trick or treat thing (bothered her alot), missed a little over a month of school(was her right hand), had to sleep sitting up in a recliner to keep it in alignment. Needless to say this was very traumatic for a 9yo girl to deal with as it was for her 36yo father (me)

The boy that ran her over has had no punishment in any way. Was out riding his bike the next day. His parents have offered nothing, not even an "I'm sorry", and they know exactly what he did. The law in Nebraska states the parent is accoutable for only $1000.00 of injuries that thier child causes. The kid can blow up a house and they have to pay for all of it--but hurt another child--1000.00 bucks. My ER bill was that much for gods sake. She had 5 visits to the orthpidic doc--have not seen thoses bills yet. We have no health insurance, could not get it and pay the bills as well--$500.00+ a month for family coverage. My DD went through all this, my family is screwed money wise, I'm so mad I'm about to go nuts.

I hate irresposible parents.:angryfire I am so close to letting my 12yo son go over and break that kids arm and then say-"thats for my sister--now we are even" but no I will not I AM a responsible parent.

Sorry about the long long LONG rant--had to get it out of my system.

Tom

Specializes in Emergency.

Were your daughter's civil rights violated? Gender bias? That's a federal offense and outside the constraints of your state laws.

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Specializes in Emergency.

A 9 year old knows right from wrong. This was not an accident caused by childish play. This was an intentional violent act of aggression intended to cause physical harm. It succeeded. To chide the OP for not having insurance is callous. Even if he did have insurance, neither he nor his insurance carrier should be penalized by having to pay for this criminal act.

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Nine year olds are quite capable of knowing right from wrong. And they and their parents are old enough to understand that when you do something bad to someone else there will be consequences.

In this case the parents of the boy with the bike don't seem inclined to understand that there are consequences. So yes, the family of the girl should sue the family for the $1000 to help alleviate the costs incurred by their own child's poor behavior.

The boy wasn't just "being mean." He performed an act that caused harm to the girl that may continue for some time since her growth plate was so damaged. Not to mention that this family has to travel so far to get proper care for their daughter.

There's nothing wrong with seeking legal recourse due to damages caused by someone. If nothing else, there may be matters uncovered that require some social work intervention in that family.

I would also suggest going to the media and take this opportunity to work on changing laws.

If a child's family can be held responsible for damage to material property, then surely human life and welfare should be held at least as important.

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It sounds like the only thing you can do is let go of it. I know that sounds awful but let me explain...

Years ago I was hit head on - 70 mph by a drunk driver without insurance. I was severely injured, my car was a total loss. I wasted a lot of time and energy being an angry person about it. In fact I was so focused on being angry that it took the focus OFF of what was really important to me - the fact that I was still alive, still had my wonderful family and and my (at the time) new nursing career I had worked so hard for! That anger became a driving force in everything I did. It ate me alive, and ultimately, in many ways it ate my children and my marriage and a couple of jobs.

It took me until years later to look back and see that the anger had been extremely counterproductive for me and the people I loved. While I can't say I forgive the guy who hit me that night - I can say that it doesn't matter. It just doesn't. In the overall scheme of life, it was an event, but it's over. I choose not to lose anymore sleep over the fact that I have a judgement against him for over half a mil I will never see a dime of, that he has been in and out of prison on multiple felonies including indecency with a child...He has done more damage to his life with that wreck then he did to mine. His revenge will be his own.

And so will this boys. Maybe not now, and maybe not soon, but you can bet that if this boy is doing things like this now, he and his family will know much suffering later.

You on the other hand have your sweet daughter to hug and comfort and teach forgiveness to. Money is just money. it comes and goes like water. Sometimes you have a little and sometimes you have a lot, but the harder you hang on to it, the more likely it is to slip away. It certainly isnt worth losing your sleep and sanity over.

Good luck

Excellent advice. Thanks for sharing it with us.

Take gauge14iv's advice and run with it. Nothing teaches a child how to handle problems more then a parent's example.

.

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Wow. Where to begin......

I am very sorry to hear of this very painful situation for you and your daughter. I can't imagine how difficult this must be.

Now, with that said...I am SHOCKED by the posts in this thread! We are talking about CHILDREN here! YES, this boy was very, very much in the wrong...but I can remember plenty of times as a child doing bad things and making the wrong choices....but for goodness sake you can't fault a CHILD!

Yes, you can. You can't fault a small child, but you can certainly fault a 9 year old. He was old enough to know better, old enough to commit malicious acts, and old enough to know what "NO!" means.

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Justjenny someone has to pay for the bills and being the mother to a seven year old boy and five year old girl I know that had it been my son I would have paid the bills and offered a sincere apology and he would have been severly punished, and if had been my daughter the other parents would have paid or been sued. If someone is going to go "bankrupt" it should not be the parent's of the child who was injured.

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Specializes in ER.

Did you report to DHS that the child was unsupervised and out of control?

My sympathy regarding the lack of recourse, sometimes the only sane thing (and the hardest thing) to do is to let it go by.

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Specializes in NICU- now learning OR!.
Justjenny someone has to pay for the bills and being the mother to a seven year old boy and five year old girl I know that had it been my son I would have paid the bills and offered a sincere apology and he would have been severly punished, and if had been my daughter the other parents would have paid or been sued. If someone is going to go "bankrupt" it should not be the parent's of the child who was injured.

Thanks for your reply. I agree with you....but the people posting how they would punish their child, etc. have children who do not do such horrible things. Clearly you are a positive role model for your children!

As mentioned, children learn by example - good and bad. Clearly the OPs daughter can learn by an appropriate example and clearly the boys parents are teaching by poor choices/bad examples. I would be severely ticked off if this were my little girl, trust me! I would offer to pay medical bills, etc. if this were my little boy, and yes, he would be SO PUNISHED he wouldn't know what happened...clearly these other parents don't think the same way.

It is reasonable to go after the $1,000 due by law...some posts however have gone way past reasonable into very scary IMO (having another child beat up this child...?!?!?!?!? Talking about sticks, and guns and other types of violence...?!?!?!? Seriously??)

Go ahead and badger the media, the chief of police...whatever you want to do...but in the meantime that is NOT helping the little girl who was injured.

I was not meaning to be disrespectful when mentioning the OPs lack of insurance....but it is true that at least the financial aspect of this issue would be resolved and the OP could deal with the emotional aspect on the daughter.

Again, I am shocked by the flames and angry words on this thread....I thought posting on allnurses was something I could do without judgement...guess not.

Jenny

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that boy needs a taste of his own medicine. An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth. if the parents of this girl let it go, what is that boy going to do to their child next? If you do not like the punishment/consequences do not do the crime (regardless of age).

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The comments about the sticks, etc, were said tongue in cheek. Lighten up.

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Specializes in midwifery, NICU.
Yes, you can. You can't fault a small child, but you can certainly fault a 9 year old. He was old enough to know better, old enough to commit malicious acts, and old enough to know what "NO!" means.

:angryfire agree totally, he knew what he was up to and is old enough to comprehend that there will be a bad outcome to his actions! Little s**t!! But the thread here is Stupid Parents, WHERE ARE THEY HERE? They obviously either think that their little darling can do no wrong, either that or they can't be bothered to give a s**t! makes me sooo mad, that these scumbags will let their son away with hurting a little girl to that extent! happens the world over though whether your'e in the U.S or the U.K, there are folks who just can't handle being responsible for their offspring and should never be parents!! baseball bat to them would be my first reaction, although I know this is wrong, and as they say, TWO WRONGS DON'T MAKE A RIGHT!! You obviously are a stronger & better family than they are, justice will come to them one day, I'm sure! Meantime, give love and hugs to your precious wee girlie, tell her that people in Scotland are praying that she feels better soon, and that I'm sure Santa will remember her!. STAY STRONG!:pumpiron:

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To all that have replied., I thank you. I will do all that is possible to see that this child learns his lesson, my DD will be fine and we will get through all the money issues eventually. I just needed to vent some of this out of my system---this seemed like a good way. I will most likley attempt to speak with the childs parents again, I hope to keep a level head when doing so--we'll see. I will be contacting the police again but will do no good at all. Just very frutrated. As to the poster that said something about me not having health insurance---please re-read my OP. Health insurance or bills--HMMMMMM....

Thanks again all.

Tom

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