Step away from the old nurse!

Now realizing I am the old white haired nurse how attitudes have changed from my young fledgling nurse days when respect was a given, to attitudes shown today reflected in my articles by some funny/sometimes distasteful situations encountered in the past few years. Nurses Announcements Archive Article

Now reaching my 34th year in the nursing profession I am experiencing some humorous, interesting and distasteful situations where comments have been made that honestly offended me to the quick of my being. "Back in the day" as the older generation often refer to their era these situatons would never have occurred. There was a whole different level of respect for old nurses who were revered/feared at times by patients, doctors, and staff members alike.

Reflecting back on my much younger years 1975 when first graduating as a fledgling nurse who came out of school well trained, required to wear our hair up off our collars (mine in a pony tail) so tight my eyes were slanted), tiny earrings (if any at all), nursing caps, and only clear nail polish on short cut fingernails. White uniforms, mostly dresses, with white support hose and white shoes. Finally someone came to the realization that maybe it was not a good idea for nurses to wear dresses possibly when they came across a rather large boned chunky nurse with a large buttocks bent over a hospital bed doing CPR with the tops of her panty hose, and print underwear showing, being all she could be. Maybe some scenario played out in the ER where they had to resume some kind of awkward positoin not suitable/remotely lady like position when one is wearing a dress.This time frame made me think of many older gray/white haired mentors-old nurses who wore their nursing caps iwth pride, on a good day did not "eat the young one's" as the expression goes, and taught us the right way to be a "real" nurse. Teaching/using the best techniques/policies (some long since outdated) of the time, so we would go on to be all we could be in our future careers in nursing. Many of the faces come to mind with names lost in my memory bank. Yes, some were scary in their demeanor, dingy (a few months short of retirement at the ripe age of 75) and some who had managed to maintain a sense of humor. Never was there any doubt who the professional in charge nurses were who did not have to demand respect it was given.

Presently my looks consist of a pleasant round face, blessed wih good genes, with very few wrinkles, but my hair is a snow white in color. Once a red head, I have chemotherapy induced coloring, but not complaining because in this case

bald was not beautiful, so glad to even have hair. Blessed to be a 20 year survior of breast cancer. Granted I do limp on occasion (from a totally different scenario involving an 1800 pound horse ) but do not deserve some of the blatant comments made to me recently about being an "old nurse" that I truly found offensive.

My first example was one evening a very serious incident involving two residents that required me to call administration and 911 for police intervention is the most memorable one. First to arrive was a detective with a demeanor of total professionalism, matter of fact and who immediately began the intitial paper work necessary for a situation of this kind. A short time later a yery young looking (looked like he was 12) sheriff's deputy came in to assist. After introducing myself to him as the head nurse the first words to part his lips floored me. "Mam, aren't you to old to still be working as a nurse?"

Totally stunned, it took me a minute to regroup but my quick wit soon surfaced with a trite reply "Young man, obviously your mother never taught you any manners!!" Turning to walk away I noticed a look of total disbelief on the face of the lead detective. Upon my return to the nurses station a short time later a demure, quiet deputy was sitting behind the desk with his head down not uttering a sound (maybe a slight whimper could be heard) diligently working on his paperwork.

When my Director of Nurses arrived, who happened to be five years older than me, was given this little tidbit of information she was livid. Close to retirement age herself, but just the main fact their was such a total blatant disrespect of one of her nurses.

My second example of someones mouth overriding their brain was a comment made by a family member one evening on a 3-11 shift. It had been a rough week, four days in a row of leaving late, returning home with "cankles" (your ankles/legs are all one) larger than usual for the simple fact a full moon phase brings out the best/worst in a long term care setting. A proven fact that the confusion level of some residents causes them to "fly" (fall) more and numerous 911 situations with medical emergencies seem more common.

Hobbling up the hallway (my horse injured leg was screaming "elevate me NOW-no more walking!!" I was holding on to the hand rail for support. Even a little relief to take off some of the pressure even for a few seconds was much appreciated. Looking up I saw a male visitor whom in his moment of great wisdom, possibly trying to be funny, made this

comment "Gee old nurse?-maybe you should just check in." At that very moment I am pulling from my inestinal fortitude because my brain is racing with bad words to spew-but thank heavens nothing parts my lips. A glance, my set jaw,

and lack of response should have been a clue I was less than amused. Granted my sense of humor was a tad absent

but come on I do work in LONG TERM CARE! A few days later revenge was mine, this same family member was wheeling his Dad down the hall, he made him stop when he saw me informing him "That is the best nurse here, I love her, she checks on me all the time!" Standing there red faced, stammering he managed to say "That is great Dad."

NURSE ROCK!-Young and old we are health professionals who give care from our hearts. Most of us whould not give up our chosen career for anything. Well, maybe not today?????

Specializes in Psych, Corrections, Med-Surg, Ambulatory.

When a well-seasoned hospice nurse came to visit my boyfriend's mother, he asked her "Shouldn't you be on hospice?" Luckily she had a sense of humour. If I had been present when he said that, I'd have seen to it that HE would NEVER need hospice.

But he did admire her greatly and had the utmost respect for her experience and professionalism. I'm sad I never got the opportunity to meet her myself.

Specializes in CVICU/SICU/CCU/HH/ADMIN.

I work in SICU/CVICU/CCU areas and am 59 years old. I've never minded being called Mom or Mama or anything of that sort; I take it as a compliment and believe that's how it was intended. I really care for the people I work with, whether younger or older, and I think they care about me, too. I do think young ones need more protection--and guidance--than older nurses. But, as someone else has already mentioned, they also teach me the new stuff and have some really fresh, good ideas about so many things. I enjoy us all.

Specializes in military nursing.

I address most adults with 'yes sir' or 'yes ma'am'. I find it is a sign of respect and have been addressed as ma'am myself. I do not feel that it is mocking or referring to a person as old. I currently live in in Pacific Northwest and although some regions in the USA are more common to use these terms I find that most people take it with a positive outcome.

What really infuriates me is when the younguns call me "Mama"!!!!! The last one to call me that was told calmly but firmly, "I'm not your mother but if you ever choose to call me that again, I WILL get my switch." Word spread. Most of us can still work circles around these disrespectful snot noses.

I had a CNA call me "mama", and even tell me she had to go "potty" ( that was the clincher) ..... we had a chat about my purposeful lack of children and total disinterest in her bladder issues. She didn't last.

I don't mind "endearing" as long as there's a relationship to support it. "Ditz" doesn't count :D

Specializes in Med-Surg/Peds/O.R./Legal/cardiology.

POTTY????? geez.....

To me, there is nothing respectful or loving about someone, other than my children, calling me mom or mama. If anything I find it highly disrespectful to their own mothers that they would diminish her title in such a way.

My children's friends learned very quickly that I would not tolerate their calling me mom and I learned almost as quickly that the kids who would do so were more often than not being manipulative. The same has proven true of coworkers.

Specializes in Critical Care, ED, Cath lab, CTPAC,Trauma.
I address most adults with 'yes sir' or 'yes ma'am'. I find it is a sign of respect and have been addressed as ma'am myself. I do not feel that it is mocking or referring to a person as old. I currently live in in Pacific Northwest and although some regions in the USA are more common to use these terms I find that most people take it with a positive outcome.

I agree the Ma'am is a sign of respect.....but usually meant for your "elders"....:rolleyes:.....WHEN DID I BECOME AND ELDER??????:eek:

I was more incesnsed because I swear it was just "yesterday" he was asking for my number. It's a tough pill to swallow when you're taken off the market due to age....:lol2:.(wink)

We live in a youth-obsessed, youth-worshiping society. Our society looks down on older people and can be particularly cruel to women as they age (just look at the misogynist way some "older" women in politics are treated by the mainstream media). The only consolation is that the Boomer generation - of which I am part - is the largest demographic group in US history, nearly 80 million strong. We are fast entering our senior years and comprise one-quarter of the US population. With so many of us, it will be difficult for society to continue to disrespect and disregard older persons. We will end up redefining what it means to grow old and forge new positive attitudes towards aging (particularly towards aging women) in our society. In a decade or two, it will no longer seem strange to see seventy-year-olds and even eighty-year-olds still active in the work force.

not sure I want to be 70 or 80 and still working. able to, yes; willing, no.

Specializes in CVICU/SICU/CCU/HH/ADMIN.
To me, there is nothing respectful or loving about someone, other than my children, calling me mom or mama. If anything I find it highly disrespectful to their own mothers that they would diminish her title in such a way.

My children's friends learned very quickly that I would not tolerate their calling me mom and I learned almost as quickly that the kids who would do so were more often than not being manipulative. The same has proven true of coworkers.

When they occasionally call me "Mom" at work, they're referring to someone who helps them, watches over and guides them while at work; they're not disrespecting their real moms nor me nor are they being manipulative. They're not trying to get anything out of me or get out of something like kids do. Most of the time they call me by my name, but guess it depends on the relationships you have what you're comfortable with.

Specializes in Critical Care, ED, Cath lab, CTPAC,Trauma.
When they occasionally call me "Mom" at work, they're referring to someone who helps them, watches over and guides them while at work; they're not disrespecting their real moms nor me nor are they being manipulative. They're not trying to get anything out of me or get out of something like kids do. Most of the time they call me by my name, but guess it depends on the relationships you have what you're comfortable with.

"Hey Mom" is alot different than "Hey Yo....Mama!"

As I tell my kids ALL the time....It's not necessarily the message but in the delivery of the message that counts....:smokin:

Specializes in Oncology; medical specialty website.

I am routinely dismayed at the lack of respect I see here for older nurses. Some youngsters even suggest that older nurses should just retire already, so younger nurses can have their jobs. It's sad to come here for support and find nurses of your age and older being dismissed as "old battle-axes" whose skills are outdated. I loved the poster who suggested that older nurses didn't use critical thinking.

Specializes in OB.

I've actually noticed in the past few years that my OB patients seem to respond to me better now, especially when it comes to teaching. I believe that it is because at 57 I look like their grandmas.

As for being called Mama or Mom by younger people it really doesn't bother me. When raising my son all of his teenage friends just referred to me as "Mom", which since they were close in age and a very racially diverse group got me some very strange looks in stores and on the street!