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- by nurse2B444 May 13, '09Hi, Thank you all for reading! I have just decided not to attend a Johns Hopkins nursing program that begins in June, due to financial reasons. Since I was intending to go there, I turned down all my other school options that were more reasonable cost-wise. This means I'll be starting school in the summer of 2010, and ending 1 1/2 years later (accelerated program). HERE'S THE CATCH: My husband and I have baby fever. We've been together for 7 years, since we were young, and we feel like we've been waiting ages already. So, I'm strongly considering trying to get pregnant now, and trying this month and next (if we failed to conceive after two months, we would stop trying until after school). This would mean I would have a 2 or 3 month old baby at home when I stared a 1.5 year accelerated program. Now, I'm not an idiot... I know this would be hard, I'm just trying to decide whether or not it would be impossible. The idea of waiting 2.5 years just to start trying makes me want to die inside, but I know it would be the smartest thing to do.
While it may seem like I've answered my own question... we're still planning to try this month. I would love to hear from anyone who has done this personally, or known someone who has. I'd obviously love to hear words of encouragement, but I know I'll be getting more harsh doses of reality than kind words.
Thank you again!!!
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- May 13, '09 by Baloney AmputationYou may feel differently about jumping into nursing school once you have your baby. When you have a baby, the mama part of your brain and heart may well tell you that you cannot stand to be apart from your baby. Then again, it may not and say instead that pursuing a nursing degree is the best course of action for your baby financially. This is an unpredictable thing and probably cannot be determined until you have a child.
It wouldn't be IMPOSSIBLE...but I personally would probably dedicate all I had to nursing school first.
- May 13, '09 by Lisa1980Hey I can understand the baby fever. I have a 5 year old and I want to extend my family with another baby before my daughter gets any older. However, my husband is not ready to jump on that bandwagon yet, he wants me to finish school first. While I understand that finishing your education is def. best. I explianed to him I still would have 9 months time to start a program and study fast-paced. So, with that said I am on an accelerated path too for my RN and hope to complete theory portion by the end of July (4 more tests) then I will have to wait for clinicals. When I get that test date and I WILL pass, then hopefully my husband and I will start trying. I haven't really gave him much of an option, LOL! My plan!
While your education is highly important so is your life decisions of bringing a life into this world. If you don't work I can see this as managable, however; new baby, work, and school is VERY difficult. It can be done, just finish as much as you can.
Make a plan, discuss it with your husband, assess all options.
Not sure If I helped at all but good luck!
- May 13, '09 by JolieCan it be done? Yes.
I think a better question is: should it be done.
You are proposing to undertake 2 incredibly stressful, time consuming, mentally and physically exhausting, life altering events at once. You can probably do both, but I wouldn't recommend it. Something will suffer. It may be your marriage, your health, your emotional state, your sanity or your child's best interests. Since you have a choice in the matter, I would recommend finishing school first.
Best to you.
- May 13, '09 by travel50I used to work with a great nurse who had waited until her kids were grown to go to nursing school. Kids were 28 and 16. One week before nsg school started, her 28 yr old son who had sole custody of his 6 and 8 yr olds dropped dead of a massive heart attack in her front yard. She got the children (and of course, she wanted them). The day before she started classes, her unmarried 16 yr old daughter gave birth, announced that she did not want the baby, and walked away. My friend went to her first day of school, stopped at the babysitter's on the way home to get her 6 and 8 yr olds, then went to the hospital and picked up her newborn. She was 52 yrs old. Two yrs later, she had her RN, and was the top student in her class. She was a great inspiration to me. When I started, I had a 2 yr old and a 5 yr old. The next month, I got my brother's kids ages 1 and 4. Before the semester was over I got my ex-husband's neices, ages 7, 8, and 9. So at the age of 22, I was the sole support for 7 little girls. It was very hard, but somehow the kids don't remember the hard parts. They remember it as a good time. So if my friend did it, and I did it, so can you. Granted, I would not have done it on purpose, but then I do things on purpose that others would not. So follow your heart.
- May 13, '09 by sunray12I wouldn't do it. The first year is critical and sets the foundation for the rest of a person's life. You are proposing a scenario where your baby would be second banana to your nursing school schedule. S/he needs to be your full focus at that time - not something you squeeze in between classes and homework. So imo, not a good idea.
- May 13, '09 by elkparkOne consideration that doesn't occur to folks new to nursing is that, in order to be eligible to sit the NCLEX for licensure, you must have completed a specified (by the state BON), concrete number of classroom and supervised clinical hours in your nursing program, and, since nursing programs are v. intensive to begin with, there's not a lot of "wiggle room" for absences, esp. in accelerated programs. No matter how good your excuse may be (like, oh, a sick baby), if you miss too many hours (and most schools have v. limited opportunities for making up missed days, esp. in clinical), you're out of the program. The last clinical rotation I taught, students could only miss eight hours of clinical before they failed the clinical rotation -- and the clinical days were 12-hour days. So, if you missed one (full) clinical day, you flunked out of school. Most people don't realize (until they're in it) how very different nursing school is from other undergraduate experiences. Just something to think about, as you're weighing all the different considerations.
- May 13, '09 by travel50The post by elkpark is very true. You miss x number of clinical hours and you're out. Can't be late either. My group of little ones was fortunately hardly ever sick, but if they were I had to leave them. My mother, a retired nurse, kept my children even if they were sick. She would not keep any of my other neices, even though 2 of them were her grandchildren too. I had to find someone else as a backup. It is very hard to leave a sick infant. And it is so hard to try to study and rock a sick baby. My 2 yr old cried ALL THE TIME! I do not exaggerate. She cried in her sleep. I used to rock her with both of us crying. I was too exhausted to do anything else. Like I said, I would not have done all that on purpose. I just had to feed my kids, and I was not living on welfare nor was I going to continue to be a burden to my parents.
- May 13, '09 by LuvofNursingI will start by saying, when I began nursing school, I had a 2 month old and a 20 month old. I found that, although it was hard, I gained much in the way of time management. I don't feel that my children suffered during this process. I did have a daycare service, which is when I did my studying, then when I picked them up from daycare, it was all about my kids. They reminded me everyday of how strong I was.
I encourage my oldest to ask questions about pictures in my book, and sometimes I would read nursing material to them. Stay at moms do have a difficult job, but I grew up in a family where my mom and dad both had to work, and I gained an appreciation for hardwork, commitment and multi-tasking. I hope to instill the same values in my children.
Here I am 7 days before graduation, and it was so worth it (GPA 3.93, speaker at graduation, statewide nursing board member, tutor). Being a rounded person is an important part of my life, and being a mommy enhances my nursing. I don't feel you should ever put your life on hold if you think it is something that will make you happy.
Good luck in the decision you make, but whatever your decision is, it is only YOURS. Don't let others tell you what you should or should not do. Have faith in your decision, and allow yourself to rely on your loved ones.
Last edit by LuvofNursing on May 13, '09 : Reason: wanted to add
- May 13, '09 by janhetheringtonIt is your decision, but I would carefully consider that something will have to give, and it won't be school. I have seen several students have babies in nursing school, or enter the program with young children and ask for special privileges and consideration because of the needs of the child. This is not fair to their future patients, and nursing schools have their hands tied because they are responsible to get their students prepared for NCLEX and to present the future patients with prepared graduates. The faculty can speak up and make their requirements clear; the child cannot. The child will have only you and your conscience. Why put yourself in that position?