Start nursing school with a newborn at home?

Nurses General Nursing

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Hi, Thank you all for reading! I have just decided not to attend a Johns Hopkins nursing program that begins in June, due to financial reasons. Since I was intending to go there, I turned down all my other school options that were more reasonable cost-wise. This means I'll be starting school in the summer of 2010, and ending 1 1/2 years later (accelerated program). HERE'S THE CATCH: My husband and I have baby fever. We've been together for 7 years, since we were young, and we feel like we've been waiting ages already. So, I'm strongly considering trying to get pregnant now, and trying this month and next (if we failed to conceive after two months, we would stop trying until after school). This would mean I would have a 2 or 3 month old baby at home when I stared a 1.5 year accelerated program. Now, I'm not an idiot... I know this would be hard, I'm just trying to decide whether or not it would be impossible. The idea of waiting 2.5 years just to start trying makes me want to die inside, but I know it would be the smartest thing to do.

While it may seem like I've answered my own question... we're still planning to try this month. I would love to hear from anyone who has done this personally, or known someone who has. I'd obviously love to hear words of encouragement, but I know I'll be getting more harsh doses of reality than kind words. :crying2:

Thank you again!!!:redbeathe:redbeathe

I'm new to the forums but thought I would chime in on the subject as a prospective nursing student and mom of three. My youngest is 3 months old and I will be returning to school part-time in January to fulfill pre-reqs for nursing programs. Now that I have three children, taking care of my newborn seems like a piece of cake compared to my preschooler and my toddler. A friend (also a mom of three) and I were joking the other day about how now that we have three kids, it is laughable that we ever thought having only one newborn baby was hard. But it WAS hard when we had such a steep learning curve as far as being parents was concerned. Babies are tricky because you don't know how you'll react to such an immense life change until it happens to you. I returned to my demanding job after my first was born and it was a lot harder than I expected to balance working full-time and being a mom. And I had a baby that slept through the night right away! I found it very difficult to give both my job and my family 100%. At some point you do have to think with your heart when it comes to deciding the right time to start a family but there is also something to be said for being practical when it comes to undertaking something as consuming as nursing school. After reading/hearing so much about how demanding nursing school is, I can't decide if I'm excited or nuts to be working toward this goal as a mom of young children. I definitely wouldn't have considered such a time-consuming undertaking as a new mom!

Specializes in acute rehab, med surg, LTC, peds, home c.

Its hard to focus on anything else when you have this cute little person you just want to play with all day. I started an LPN program when my 1st daughter was 3 months old. I used to cry when I had to drop her off at the babysitters. I hated leaving her so much. Not to mention the sleepless nights and school the next day. You really are not the same mentally or physically for a good couple of months after having a baby. I was able to graduate but I had alot of help. However, the lpn program was waaaaay easier than the RN program that I did 10 yrs later when I had 2 school age kids. That was really hard and caused alot of stress in my marriage and family life. I gained 20 lbs and ate alot of takeout. I would suggest just white-knuckling through the program 1st so you can relax and enjoy your baby when you are done with school. Go back to work when you are ready. I understand the biological urge to have a baby, but you are going to hate to be away from the baby. Good luck making your decision.

I think it would be very challenging, however I think you should begin school as soon as possible. If you wait then you may not ever go to school at all. Buck up, know it is going to be rough but it isn't for forever. Education is so important and so are children! So do both. YOU CAN DO IT!!!!! Good Luck!

Specializes in ICU, psych, corrections.

I have a 13 year old, a 10 year old, and a 2 year old. When I went through nursing school, the older ones were 6 and 3. At that age, it was a little easier to get through school because the older one was in school all day long and the younger one would go to the daycare attached to my college. I was able to pop in occasionally and because some school days were shorter than others, I was able to spend some time with her. When I graduated, having them pin me was one of the highlights of my life. Also, the older one remembers watching mom struggle through school and see what comes of hard work. I should mention that at the time, I was working two 12-hour night shifts on the weekend and my husband worked three 12-hour night shifts Sun/Mon/Tues nights, plus he went to school 3/4 time. Was our house insane? Yes! Would I do it again? No! Would I have given up the experience gained from those few years? Absolutely not! It taught me that anything is possible and I will always have the memories of my husband and getting to graduate together.

All that being said, I stayed home for the first year of my youngest child's life and I wouldn't give that up for anything. I cherish those times I was able to spend with him and am SO glad I didn't work. I've never been one of those women who wanted to stay at home with their kids and always thought I would return to work as soon as possible. However, once he was actually here, I had second thoughts. Nursing school was tough and I think it depends on so many factors. I had some classmates who gave birth during nursing school, missed one clinical, and were back with a vengeance! One was a high risk pregnancy. She graduated in the top 5 of our class of 40-something. I also had a classmate who was dx'ed with breast cancer during the first semester, had a double mastectomy over the Christmas break, then had them rebuilt over the summer in between the 2 years. She was the valedictorian. Could I have done either of those? Probably not, because it's not in my nature. I know my limits. I think it's a personal choice but one thing to consider is that even if you think you are prepared to go back to school and leave your young infant in daycare, with family, etc. just remember you may change your mind when go to hold your baby for the first time and get completely lost in his or her eyes. Nursing school will be the last thing on your mind and you may or may not end up resenting your baby or school....or both. Good luck in whatever you decide and remember, holding off for a year or two to start a family goes by a LOT faster than you think...time flies when you are immersed in nursing school!

I wouldn't purposely go about having a baby right before starting nursing school, but if it happened, well it happens. That said, when I went back to school to start my pre-reqs, my son was about 8 months old. I took online courses only that semester, so it wasn't so bad. He's now 15 months old and goes to daycare three days per week, half days only. I'm fine with that arrangement and I'm thriving in school and he (along with my 3.5 year old) is thriving as well.

That said, I will say that the first year of a child's life (no matter the number) is often challenging. You're adding a new person into the household, the routine, etc. My son was super easy of a baby, but my daughter was not so easy. If I had them in reverse order, I don't know that I would have gone back to school when she was still under a year. My son was easy to add into the mix, but it was still a challenge as my then two year old had her life totally turned upside down by this new baby. As for the sleep thing, I've been very fortunate with both my kids with sleep (though my daughter only cat napped her first year of life). They both slept in our room and slept most of the night. There have only been a few sleepless nights.

I should finish my core classes (pre-reqs done) this summer and hopefully start nursing classes and clinicals in January. I'm expecting it to be more intense - right now I take everything online that I can and only come to campus for A&P and lab, and I know that I won't have that luxury.

Also, some have suggested waiting until after you graduate. I would encourage people to think about that. You have to be on a job for one year to qualify for FMLA. Plus, the first year of a new job is pretty stressful (and from what I'm reading here, VERY stressful for a new nurse).

I don't think there is ever a great time when you're trying to finish school and also hear that tick tock.

Specializes in ICU.

When I started pre-reqs for NS, my oldest son was 3. My younger son, who was a surprise, was born a year later. I could have ideally finished my pre-reqs in 2 semesters, but decided to go part time so I could be home more with my boys and not have to put my baby in daycare full time. I took me an extra semester and taking summer classes before I was able to apply to my program, but I consider the extra time well worth it. I also have other classmates with children take all the non-nursing core classes they could before applying for the program so they would be taking as few credits as possible once they were in. So nice to not have to worry about stats or your humanities requirement on top of fundamentals, pharmacology, med-surg, etc. Anyways, this prolly doesn't help the OP, but maybe something future nursing students could consider.

I wouldn't purposely go about having a baby right before starting nursing school, but if it happened, well it happens. That said, when I went back to school to start my pre-reqs, my son was about 8 months old. I took online courses only that semester, so it wasn't so bad. He's now 15 months old and goes to daycare three days per week, half days only. I'm fine with that arrangement and I'm thriving in school and he (along with my 3.5 year old) is thriving as well.

That said, I will say that the first year of a child's life (no matter the number) is often challenging. You're adding a new person into the household, the routine, etc. My son was super easy of a baby, but my daughter was not so easy. If I had them in reverse order, I don't know that I would have gone back to school when she was still under a year. My son was easy to add into the mix, but it was still a challenge as my then two year old had her life totally turned upside down by this new baby. As for the sleep thing, I've been very fortunate with both my kids with sleep (though my daughter only cat napped her first year of life). They both slept in our room and slept most of the night. There have only been a few sleepless nights.

I should finish my core classes (pre-reqs done) this summer and hopefully start nursing classes and clinicals in January. I'm expecting it to be more intense - right now I take everything online that I can and only come to campus for A&P and lab, and I know that I won't have that luxury.

Also, some have suggested waiting until after you graduate. I would encourage people to think about that. You have to be on a job for one year to qualify for FMLA. Plus, the first year of a new job is pretty stressful (and from what I'm reading here, VERY stressful for a new nurse).

I don't think there is ever a great time when you're trying to finish school and also hear that tick tock.

You women are terrific!!! Keep it up! I wish you all the best and good luck!

Specializes in OB/Gyn, L&D, NICU.

I couldn't have said it better. You can't give 100% to both nursing school and a new baby - why do that to the baby or yourself or your husband? You will be stressed out and exhausted. Your baby will not get enough time with you - you will have to pay someone else to raise it, or not get enough study time. This being said from someone who obtained her bachelor's degree with 2 infants and a military spouse who was overseas a lot - I am now divorced and my kids suffered from my stress as well.

Having a baby would be comparable to housebreaking 4 new puppies at once. How can you do that while in nursing school? There are going to be quite a few accidents on the carpet/furniture and a lot of yelling!

You can work part time as a nurse once you have your baby. Get school done and then get pregnant!

Can it be done? Yes.

I think a better question is: should it be done.

You are proposing to undertake 2 incredibly stressful, time consuming, mentally and physically exhausting, life altering events at once. You can probably do both, but I wouldn't recommend it. Something will suffer. It may be your marriage, your health, your emotional state, your sanity or your child's best interests. Since you have a choice in the matter, I would recommend finishing school first.

Best to you.

Specializes in OB/Gyn, L&D, NICU.

Another thing to consider is I have never found anyone to care for my children at the times I need. Their preschool was 3 hours a day - not enough time for me to even get to/from school. I could never afford a full time daycare, and now they are too old for daycare, but I do need transportation assistance. Even now, I have had no luck finding someone to take and pick them up from school. One girl when they were younger said she would watch them, but every day she had something new come up so she never made it and I always had to take them with me, pushing the stroller filled with diapers and toys, and carrying my baby, toddler struggling to walk alongside. I had to study with my kids on my lap or while cooking dinner and yelling at a kid to take his bath, which then required me to run up the stairs and make him bathe, then feed them dinner, forget the studying. Whoever says a newborn is more demanding is crazy! (sorry LinzyRN) Having a newborn is the easy part.

I had a 8 month old when I started pre req's and she was three when I started in the nursing program. It has been very hard. I was gone all day at school and clinicals, but when I was home I had to study. I never got to spend time with her. Thank the lord I had lots of help from my husband and mom, but a newborn is a lot more demanding than a 3 year old.

OP here - reading back over these, I'm honestly not sure I made the right decision. I'm 9 months out from graduation right now. I'm a straight A student and I haven't found the program all that challenging. I mean, of course there are stressful days and weeks, but it's not the beast I was expecting. Since we missed our chance to have a baby before school, we're now trying to figure out when it will work best. Our new insurance maternity coverage doesn't start until August, so if I got pg in September, I'd be 4 months pg upon graduating. No one will hire a pregnant new grad. That pushes us back to the indefinite time when I am finally able to find a job. This is easier said than done in the DC/NOVA area where new grad jobs seem to be nonexistent. (We have to stay in DC/NOVA for hubby's job). So, if I can't find a job for (conservatively), 4 months, then wait until the training period is up, that's more than a year from right now. That's pretty much unbearable since our baby fever started over two years ago. Nursing school probably would have been the ideal time to have a baby, in restrospect. Better than trying to fit pregnancy/new mommy time into a new grad first hire situation, when the job market is so terrible. For people struggling with this issue, consider seriously the problem of the new grad job shortage before planning your family around your career.

Specializes in Med Surge, Tele, Oncology, Wound Care.

I was a plan your family around your career person. I had my career and waited to have my baby. I think it is better to plan your career around your family if you can afford it. At the same time, I think the nursing program would be a lot more difficult when you add motherhood into the mix.

I have my career, I am 31 years old and I have a 7month old baby. You will have it all too, just in a different order.

The typical way a family is planned (in the ideal world) is to have a career first then a family. A lot of people just don't have a choice to be a parent first, due to today's economy. By the same token, due to today's economy maybe it is best to get a career first (financial stability), if you can find a job.

Hugs OP, it will happen for you! You will have it all soon! :redbeathe I think any woman who has a college education has it all by today's standards!

I was a plan your family around your career person. I had my career and waited to have my baby. I think it is better to plan your career around your family if you can afford it. At the same time, I think the nursing program would be a lot more difficult when you add motherhood into the mix.

I have my career, I am 31 years old and I have a 7month old baby. You will have it all too, just in a different order.

The typical way a family is planned (in the ideal world) is to have a career first then a family. A lot of people just don't have a choice to be a parent first, due to today's economy. By the same token, due to today's economy maybe it is best to get a career first (financial stability), if you can find a job.

Hugs OP, it will happen for you! You will have it all soon! :redbeathe I think any woman who has a college education has it all by today's standards!

rkitty198, thank you for your kind and understanding words! it's hard for everyone these days, and I'm always grateful to have the options I do have available to me - I know many people don't have the luxury of choice, they just have to make it work!

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