Quote from danceswithsnakes
I'm in graduate school to be a nurse practitioner. My spouse was supportive at first but since it is becoming an inconvenience to him he is getting resentful, starting fights, blaming me for being the one who wanted to go be a nurse practitioner, he's sick of all this nursing crap...etc., etc., etc.. It's stressing me out, I feel like I'm going through a change and evolving into a different person and I'm not sure I'm comfortable with it. We have children so it makes things a lot more complicated. I'm not exactly in love with nursing, I'm sick of going to school myself, but I'm trying to look at the bigger picture of what would be best for my family. I"m only 1/4 of the way through the program, so there's a ways to go. I'm the only one who works, pays bills, mortgage, and all living expenses, so I feel like I'm dealing with a spoiled child who's dragging everything down. I just don't know what to do. I've definitely grown apart from my husband in so many ways, and I'm afraid of more frustration if I quit school so I'm more available to cater to him. I just don't know what to do.
I think you have a couple of issues going on here. First, you have the obvious issue with an unsupportive spouse. Is he contributing anything to the family? Taking care of the children while you work and go to school? Was he on board for you furthering your education or was he initially supportive because he envisioned you bringing home a big, fat paycheck?
How was your marriage prior to you going back to school? Were things more equitable? Or have the changes come about because you're in school?
I'm in grad school, full-time, and my husband is supportive. However, there have been some tense moments, especially when he doesn't understand how time-consuming my program is and why I can't just take an evening off to watch TV. My husband is a veteran and has issues with PTSD, so he gets frustrated over little things very easily. That would be an issue regardless of whether I was going to school or doing something else. I would say that our marriage is good but there are times when I wonder if it would be less stressful if I could cloister myself away from the rest of the world until I get through. Grad school is stressful and tough even on the best marriages.
The other concern that stuck out in your post was that you said you aren't exactly in love with nursing and you're tired of school. Everyone gets like that sometimes. I love school and I am attending a great program but as I'm circling around the end of the semester, I'm tired, too. (I've also been through times in which I hated nursing, left for several years and did something else, but the interest remained and I find that I love nursing too much to ever want to leave again.) The thing is, there's a difference between being temporarily tired of school and being mentally and emotionally fatigued to the point that you honestly don't want to be in school anymore. Do you really want to be a nurse practitioner or do you feel you can't quit now because you've invested too much of your time?
Would you feel differently if you could cut back on either your work hours or your credit hours so that you have a lighter load? Or would that cause more resentment from your husband?
I am very sorry this is happening to you. Unfortunately, this is a story that seems to be pretty common here on AN.