Socially needy coworkers - page 4

We have a newer coworker at one of my jobs. She seems to be universally annoying everyone there. She seems to want to intrude in every conversation with over sharing about her own life. She will... Read More

  1. by   operations
    Sounds incredibly passive aggressive. Unfortunately, micromanaging when you do not have the authority to is a form of workplace aggression. This takes precedence helping her with her social needs. Acts of workplace aggression need to dealt with, and not looked over (according to my school's Potter and Perry text) Management can do both of those things (helping adress the aggression and social needs) concurrently. If you catch her looking at charts, I would ask her why. If she gives you an insubstantial answer, report it. Hospitals are coming down hard for looking at charts of patients that are not your own.
    Last edit by operations on Sep 12
  2. by   NurseCard
    Quote from Anne413
    With all due respect, that is one of the least collegial, unkind, and nonproductive comments I've ever read. That is my professional and personal opinion.
    Yeah, but it works. Unfortunately sometimes it is the ONLY approach that
    works for dealing with a coworker such as this.
  3. by   elen2018
    I have a question/thread I want to post and can not figure out how to do it even with the help information. Can someone help me please?
  4. by   Sour Lemon
    Quote from elen2018
    I have a question/thread I want to post and can not figure out how to do it even with the help information. Can someone help me please?
    Click on any of the main headings at the top of the page ...Nurses, Specialties, Students, etc. Then scroll to the bottom of the page and click on the green bar that says: Start a Topic & Get Answers Today!
  5. by   helen09
    I would just ignore her, and find myself something to do every time she tries to talk. If she opens chart of not her patients, report it. If she comments about the care of the patient, tell her there is more than one way to "skin a cat". Pun indented.
  6. by   mushyrn
    You report her for HIPAA violation for looking at charts she doesn't belong in. Duh.
  7. by   JKL33
    Quote from operations
    Hospitals are coming down hard for looking at charts of patients that are not your own.
    Well, that certainly doesn't do a whole lot to encourage teamwork and promote the idea that we are all accountable for every patient. Heck, it only works out practically-speaking on a unit where no one ever helps anyone else.

    I don't prefer to encourage this particular trend. I don't even think hospitals "believe in it," but they know it provides control and, when needed, expediency in dealing with staff issues just like the one we are discussing. It's no wonder we remain cogs in the wheel...so very little collective insight.
  8. by   Irish_Mist
    To be completely honest, I feel sorry for this woman. It sounds like she just wants to be included but doesn't have the necessary social skills. I suspect she is insecure and it manifests itself in her bossy behavior. If you have proof that she looks at charts for no reason, then that needs to be addressed with management.

    If I were in this situation, I would speak to her in a gentle manner in a private setting. Not from the angle that "everyone is talking about you because of how annoying you are" but from the angle of what you yourself have noticed. It will put her on the defense to tell her what "everyone" supposedly thinks. I'm sure she is aware that people are talking about her.

    She sounds annoying but I think she just needs someone to befriend her. I bet her behavior will improve.
  9. by   JinnSchlajfertig
    Only way to deal with this is to set clear professional boundaries.
    If she butts into conversations, end the conversation and walk away.
    Or say something like, "wow, isn't that funny. I was talking to (original conversation partner) about (original topic) and now we are talking about your cat/shopping/etc. Did you notice that you tend to interrupt conversations and steer them towards the topic of your interest?"
    Either way, don't reward her behavior with attention. She'll just keep doing it. If you challenge her or fail to refill her narcissistic supply, she'll pick a new target.
    If she is bossy, grandstanding, pokes into charts or interferes with your duties, especially in front of patients, take her aside and warn her ONCE to back off. Then complaint, in writing, to management. Take notes, keep dates, etc. Encourage others to do the same. They are not likely to respond at first and will think it's a personal conflict that you should work out. But if you document it well, are not alone in your complaints, keep it professional (focusing on how the behavior impacts your ability to perform your duties), then they will hopefully respond.
    Good luck. You have a full-blown narcissist on your hands. Hopefully she'll move on soon. If not she'll be running the place.
  10. by   operations
    Quote from JKL33
    Well, that certainly doesn't do a whole lot to encourage teamwork and promote the idea that we are all accountable for every patient. Heck, it only works out practically-speaking on a unit where no one ever helps anyone else.

    I don't prefer to encourage this particular trend. I don't even think hospitals "believe in it," but they know it provides control and, when needed, expediency in dealing with staff issues just like the one we are discussing. It's no wonder we remain cogs in the wheel...so very little collective insight.
    This is a judgement call. If you see someone looking at a chart to learn, I would not report it. If you see someone looking at the chart of someone they know, because they are nosey, then that probably should be reported. In this case, it sounds to me like she is looking at the charts to monitor the other nurses. If she is looking at your patient's chart, I absolutely think you can ask why. This could lead to any answer and judgement would be needed to determine if you should report it to manager.

    Good reasons to look at another person's chart
    "I want to see how you documented that narrative so I can learn."
    "I want to see the trend in this pts vitals so I can learn"

    Bad Reasons
    "I heard (insert gossipy info here), and I want to know if it's true"
    -I have not reported someone who has done this but I know others who have, and I do not blame. If I saw someone do this as a pattern, I would be far more likely to report it than an isolated incident.

    "I wanted to look and see if you charted that intervention correctly"
    -I would be more likely to tell my manager about this. This is an incredibly aggressive behavior and should not be tolerated. Passive aggressive behavior creates an environment that can impact patient care. Occasionally we make make a mistake, but a continuing pattern of this behavior should not be tolerated. It's incredibly toxic and can have consequences to the patients, as care can be disrupted by this behavior. If someone is willing to go into patient charts to exert passive aggressive control, that definitely needs an intervention. And that doesn't mean she needs to lose her job or be punished. But management should make it clear that she is playing with fire by looking at these charts when she shouldn't be. They should focus primarily on the disruption of staff by her behavior pattern and work to correct that behavior.
  11. by   Crystal-Wings
    The personal space issue and talking about the same thing over and over again and her not knowing how to act appropriate in social situations sounds a little bit like asperger's syndrome. I have it, and sometimes I'm not aware that I offend people with the things I say, although I have learned a bit more how to read social cues. I'm also mostly introverted though, which she doesn't seem to be.
  12. by   Nursiepoo01
    I would definitely talk 1:1 over coffee...share her strengths first...then talk about the things that bother you and then praise and give positive enforcement afterwards. Let her know your "boundaries" so she doesn't make you a "Dear Abby" kind of coworker, coming to you with all her peer problems. I usually start my conversations about conflicts with something like, "I wanted to talk to you today, face to face about something I am not sure you're even aware of...." I close it with something like, "It was really hard for me to come to you, but I know that I would want it done for me rather than it being the topic of gossip. I know that from here on out, you're going to respect my boundaries and we are going to work great together!" Hope it helps...just my 2 cents.
  13. by   cyc0sys
    Pull together your cash and get her a 'boyfriend' from Backpage.com.

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