In my opinion, your experience with this school is not typical of the nursing school admission process. The process is indeed confusing especially since there are so many entry points into nursing. However, the closed-off nature you describe is not normal or acceptable. I may even go as far as to say that it is a sign of a poorly run school or a school that may not respect the challenges their students go through.
The general tidbits of advice I have for you when it comes to the admission process are...
1. If you are transferring to different schools, check with both the counselors of your current school and your prospective school. I have been misled by both at times but cross-checking definitely helped me. Your current school counselors may not have the most up-to-date information on outside nursing programs
. The prospective school's counselors may not know what the best way to fulfill your prerequisites at the school you are currently attending. If your prospective nursing school programs have their own "in-house" counselors, even better. As you have already seen, going straight to the source (sometimes in person) gets you the best answers.
2. Try to get things in writing. Ask your counselors for some sort of written plan of attack for the courses you need to complete, a copy of policies, procedures, deadlines etc. This way the whole she-said, he-said pucky can be kept to a minimum. If a school cannot produce clearly written guidelines for prospective students, that's a red flag.
3. Consider delays a blessing in disguise. There have been many delays in my quest to become a RN but I took them as opportunities to gain more work experience, review on my own, meet students in the current program and get tips from them, volunteer and take care of my health. Ultimately, I would not have changed how my life has turned out. Timing was perfect because I made it so. I came into the RN program stronger and more confident than I would have been when I wished I got in.