Smile

  1. Guess what was included in my paycheck this week. As if the amount on the check wasn't offensive enough my hospital decided to help out the staff by giving us some "tips" on how to speak to our physicians. Some examples. I swear these are real!

    Ask them how THEY are doing (after all they've been listening to patients complain all day)
    Avoid calling them by their first name
    Keep it short and sweet. Don't waste their time by giving more information than they want. Two statements or less will do!
    Greet them warmly and with a smile
    Always ask if there is something you can do for them
    If you see them in the halls, smile and say hello
    There was even a whole section of actual examples!!

    When I first saw it I thought it was a joke. Especially since I had a doc tell me not to call him for stupid questions and hang up on me the day before. (a call I made at a parents request)

    Any comments???
    Last edit by ToofunnyRN on Sep 29, '01
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  2. 19 Comments

  3. by   tiger
    unreal!! we haven't been told how to speak to the docs YET. get this though. everyone has to go to a class for answering the phone. you are supposed to say "good morning this is blah blah medical center and i am blay from the nursing staff. how may i help you. it reminds me of going through the drive through at a fast food place. and you are not supposed to say hold on--you ask them if they can hold. and never transfer a call and not wait to see if someone picks up.like i have time for that. they are lucky if i pick up the phone at all. bulls**t. we also had to go to a cultural diversity class. how ridiculous. they had us all stand up in a line and asked us questions. if your answer is yes to the question step across the line and look at the people who didn't move. first question "do you like sushi?" second question "do you live in a predominantly white neighborhood?" third-"do you have 3 or more children?" and so on. any one else learn about cultural diversity. it is the big thing in our hospital now.
  4. by   P_RN
    Gosh and all we got were little bronze colored plastic lapel pins that said service excellence! When you got ten you could trade them in for a silver colored plastic one. Whooopie! In actuality we mostly used them for thumbtacks, 'cause they didn't want to buy us pens, paperclips or tacks.

    Oh and if you needed to go upstairs or downstairs...you had to do just that....use the stairs!

    Oh and if the president/ceo came in we were to stand up and introduce ourselves....that was great cause we NEVER saw him but the one time...the whole time from when he "rose to power" until the time I left.

    Oh and we had "suggestions" in our paycheck to donate an hours pay a month to the Childrens hospital...and they would take it out UNLESS you told them not to.

    GOSH darn *I* want all the perks you have...mine sounded paltry in comparison.
  5. by   frustratedRN
    LMAO

    i cant believe they put that crap in your pay...lololololololololol

    with all the problems encountered in the hospitals today they are worried about cultural diversity, answering the phones, and saying hello to the doctors...lolololololololol
    think the docs get that **** in their pays....im sure...lol

    this post really did make me smile.

    i especially loved the service awards.
  6. by   ToofunnyRN
    I guess I'm the luckiest one of all!!!
    We have phantom callers who call to make sure you answer the phone correctly and phantom shoppers who come by to ask directions. Guess what? We aren't allowed to give them directions we have to take them! I really don't mind if I have the time, unfortunately I usually don't!
    Of course we've had training on cultural diversity, but at my last hospital the media got a hold of it, decided it was racially bias and was stereotyping minorities so they told us to tear up the material they gave us and forget it until they came up with something new.
    I have to say that I did enjoy the ethics class we had. We go every year. It is interesting!!

    I guess I feel I try to treat the adult patients like I want my parents or grands to be treated, the peds like I want someone to treat my child and my coworkers with respect. I don't need someone telling me how to speak to anyone. My mother took care of that when I was 5.

    Bye for now. I'm off to work so I can SMILE
  7. by   suzannasue
    ROFLMAO!!!!
    TOOFUNNY,THIS IS WAY TOO FUNNY!!!!!!!! AND PATHETIC. AND DEMEANING. AND IS QUITE INDICATIVE OF HORIZONTAL VIOLENCE IN THE HEALTH CARE SETTING...NURSES ARE INSTRUCTED HOW TO SPEAK TO DOCTORS ...OH PLEASE...WOULD LOVE TO KNOW WHICH IDIOT IN YOUR FACILITY IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THAT INSERT...THIS IS JUST ANOTHER EXAMPLE OF HORIZONTAL VIOLENCE IN HEALTH CARE. WE ARE THE EYES AND EARS OF MEDICINE AND ARE TREATED LIKE WE ARE SECOND RATE
    CITIZENS...HAVE WE GROWN TIRED OF THIS YET????? I READ AN ESSAY YEARS AGO,WRITTEN BY A DOCTOR WHO EXPOUNDED THE GREATNESS OF NURSES. SAID HE HAD FOUND OUT A LONG TIME AGO THAT IF HE TREATED THE NURSES WELL, HIS PATIENTS FARED BETTER THAN IF HE ACTED LIKE HIS FELLOW DOCTORS AND BELITTLED THEM. THE NAME OF THE ESSAY WAS "IF YOU WANT YOUR PATIENTS TO LIVE LONGER,BE NICE TO THE NURSES"
    PERHAPS THAT SHOULD BE MANDATORY READING FOR MEDICAL STUDENTS!!!!! I PERSONALLY DO NOT HAVE THE TIME TO PLAY THE SOCIO-POLITICAL GAMES THESE SO-CALLED PROFESSIONALS NEED IN ORDER TO FEEL THEIR IMPORTANCE. I SPEAK AS A MATTER OF COURTESY TO EVERYONE...BUT I DO NOT GO OUT OF MY WAY TO SPEAK TO DOCTORS UNLESS I HAVE PERTINENT INFORMATION TO GIVE THEM REGARDING A PATIENT'S CONDITION.
    AND YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE WARM AND CARING TO THEM BECAUSE THEY HAVE LISTENED TO PATIENT COMPLAINTS ALL DAY????? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! VERY FEW OF THEM LISTEN TO ANYONE AT ALL AS IS EVIDENCED BY THE ORDERS OR LACK THEREOF THEY WRITE.
    AS FAR AS THE DOCTOR HANGING UP ON YOU...NOTIFY HOUSE SUPERVISOR OF THIS BAD BEHAVIOR,WRITE ALL DETAILS OF INCIDENT,MAKE COPIES AND SEND THEM TO ALL LEVELS OF MANAGEMENT AND TO THE MEDICAL DIRECTOR OR TO WHOMEVER HE REPORTS !!!!
    I STOPPED TAKING THEIR CRAP YEARS AGO AND WILL TELL ANYONE THAT IF THEY WANT SOMEONE TO POLLY CODDLE THE MD'S,THEY NEEDN'T LOOK MY WAY.
    I HAVE REALLY GOTTEN A LAUGH OUT OF THE ORIGINAL POST AND REPLYS...THANKS FOR MAKING MY DAY!!!!!!!
  8. by   Doey
    Toofunny,
    When I first read your post I couldn't believe what I was reading. Are they serious?? Obviously no clue to what this nursing shortage is all about at all. Who was the wizard who makes six digits that thought this up.
    Ask them how THEY are doing because they listen to pts complain all day?? Gee, guess there's no one else around that listens to complaints all day about EVERYTHING from EVERYONE.
    Avoid calling them by their first names? What, should we bow down and kiss their feet when they walk by too?
    Keep it short and sweet? Sometimes it's all about I can do to even speak a few civil sentences to some of these egotistical jerks in the first place. And talk about wasting time. Don't waste mine asking me to look up something for them when their fingers can do the walking through the computer or a chart just as well as mine can.
    I'll greet them with a smile alright. The one from my backside as I'm walking away.
    Ask them what we can do for THEM? What are we the hospitality hostess?
    I can't believe this BS. You're right suzann, are we tired of this yet? It is demeaning and pathetic. Why don't the docs have to go to classes to be told how they should be treating nurses with a little more respect and dignity and as HUMAN BEINGS? I'm so sick of sh**t like this. I'm not there to to feed their egos and reinforce their misconceptions that they are gods.

    Okay. I am calming down now. And like you said toofunny, I too treat people as I would want to be treated and as an adult. Not like a child or a slave or the dirt under my feet. I don't care if you're the CEO, janitor, kitchen worker or doctor. But please, cannot we as nurses be treated the same way?

    Whew!! Feel better now that I've unloaded
  9. by   codebluechic
    unreal!
  10. by   OzNurse69
    Unbelievable!!
    I just started a new job where we have one whole week of compulsory orientation to the hospital (before you even hit the wards). For the first three days it was all "Hi, my name is Joe and I will be working in ED (or wherever). Anyway, one lady kept introducing herself as "Sue" and saying she would be working in admin. Just one of the crowd for three days. On the Thursday, we had a lunch with the bigwigs to introduce everyone. Turns out she was the new General Manager!! Talk about knock me down with a feather - but it was a brilliant idea because now everyone feels they can approach her with suggestions etc. Mind you, this is the only place I have ever worked where this has happened - usually I come across the "lick my boots" scenario as toofunny spelled out - HOWEVER it's never been put in writing before!!
  11. by   hoolahan
    Are you sure this wasn't a page ripped out of a 1960 edition of McCall's magazine , ya know, an article on how to greet your husband! Cause that's what it sounds like! One thing, they forgot the fetch him his fuzzy slippers, beer and remote. Did they also mentio that you should throw in a neck massage since they are tired from all theor hard physical labor?

    I think the nurses should get together and write one for the doc's. It sounds very sexist to me, as well as demeaning!! And phantom callers and shoppers? That takes the cake. I honestly don't think I could work for a place that disrespects its employees in that way. God Bless you!!!
  12. by   frustratedRN
    well if you are thinking about answering the phone and the secret shoppers, and how you talk to the docs you sure arent going to have time to notice that you have too many patients....lol
  13. by   Slowone
    MEMO TO ALL MEDICAL DOCTORS

    Effective immediately we will be implementing a new standard protocol for communcations with nursing staff. Teh following guidlines shoudl be followed to maintain positive and team oriented communications.

    1. When approaching nursing personell with a question or comment, please determine whether or not he or she is currently occupied with nursing duties. Is so, please stop and wait for appropriate moment to speak.

    2.If your question is regarding lab results or prior shift data, take your lazy ass over to the chart and look it up yourself!

    3.If you see nursing staff in the cafeteria, allow them to go ahead of you in line as they are docked pay if they go over there alloted 30 minute lunch break and their time is very valuable!

    4. Please and thank you's are now mandatory. (we know manyof you will have trouble with these phrases, we suggest you go home and write each one 50,000 times.)

    5. And last but not least, when a nurse calls you at three in the morning for the Tylenol PRN order that you forgot to write for on the pt. w/ chronic back pain. You must appologize interupting their already busy schedule with your stupid error and insist that from now on nurses really ARE capable of writing orders like that on YOUR patients!

    Thank you all for your cooperation with this matter.
  14. by   PButler
    He! He! He! That IS funny! You must work at a private hospital. Now I remember why I hated private hospitals and love working in a large university hospital. Some Docs and hospital administrators don't even know how arrogant and stupid they really are!

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