Single Mom and Night Nurse?? - page 2

by akaRNmle 4,606 Views | 17 Comments

I just need to find somebody out there that has some advice or something for me. I am currently working as a RN on a med/surge unit. I work weekend option nights (friday-sunday nights). I am doing this and I am a new single... Read More


  1. 4
    Stay put. You will not likely find childcare like you have now. Take some decent vacations when you can.

    Parents are supposed to put their kids' needs above their own wants.
    That's just the way it is.
  2. 2
    Single mom here, with 2 kids, my youngest has high functioning autism. I could not imagine moving away from my support system.
    I live next door to my mom so she is readliy avaliable for babysitting, and I can work nights.
    I would research schools and special needs services if you follow through with your move.
    You said your son is 6, mine is 10 and these last few years have been hard as his peers have matured socially and he has not, brings a lot stress and meetings with the school.
    You know that kids with ASD thrive with predicability and routine, which comes with having a strong support system.
    I would urge you to re-think moving, move if it is must, but you stated you have a job you like with a good support system.
    someday1012 and Otessa like this.
  3. 0
    Internet relationship that leads to PA?
  4. 1
    Let's hear the real reason you want to move. The reasons you listed sound pretty selfish and not very strong reasons for uprooting a family.
    Otessa likes this.
  5. 1
    I have to agree with the above posters. I am not divorced, so I have hubby to help with our 3 year old, but we are hours away from any kind of support system. Hubby works full time too, so we use daycare during the week. It's EXPENSIVE and much harder to find any after hours care then if we lived in an area where we knew people. And my daughters NOT special needs...

    I can't understand why you are moving, personally. 'I like to move'. Is just not a valid reason to uproot a special needs child, in the middle of a divorce, to adifferent area away from all that is familiar to him. It also looks like you want to be told that there is some magic way to set up overnight free daycare for your child, and I'm sorry, but there just isn't, unless you stay by your current support system. I can tell you from experience, that it's nearly impossible to swap daycare hours with another parent if you don't know any parents in your new area to swap with. That sort of situation takes trust and an established relationship. I'm sorry if this isn't the type of response you were looking for, but since you asked, I'm trying to give realistic advice.
    Otessa likes this.
  6. 0
    What about school nursing? You would have the same hours as your son, plus ample sick and personal leave and time for appts and play groups. You would also have summers off to attend camps for austic children, horse therapy, etc.

    Having the same schedule may help him to limit transition time on the weekends. Good luck!
  7. 0
    Quote from akaRNmle
    I just need to find somebody out there that has some advice or something for me.

    I am currently working as a RN on a med/surge unit. I work weekend option nights (friday-sunday nights). I am doing this and I am a new single mom. I'm going through a divorce and have a 6 year old son. Right now my mom picks him up from school on fridays, watches him most weekends and then drives him to school monday morning. His father watches him at least a few days a month.

    I am attempting to start my life over and am looking at moving to another state. I live in Virginia now and I want to move to Pennsylvania, about 4 hours away. I have been trying to figure out what I am supposed to do about daycare for my son. I really like the night/weekend pay, hours, and the fact that I have all week off to be with my son. My son has Aspergers and has Dr appointments, play groups and various other things that we do during the week that I'm afraid that If I get a 9-5 or even 7-3 job there are lots of things that I won't get to do. I also hate the idea of working 5 days a week, I really enjoy the 3 12 hour shifts.

    I am just trying to figure out how it will be possible to continue to work AT LEAST nights. I love working nights at the hospital. I really don't want to give it up because i'm not sure if I can afford rent, student loans and medical bills without the extra money that the shift differential brings in. But what do people do for babysitting? I am moving to an area where I will not know a single person so I can't depend on family/friends. I was looking at nannies and babysitters on sittercity.com and it seems to cost about $12-20 an hour to hire somebody to babysit! PLEASE I am trying to brainstorm some ideas.

    If it's not possible to continue working at a hospital nights and/or weekends then I am trying to figure out what other jobs I can do that pay well. I have 3 years experience as a RN on a tele/med surge floor. For 2 of those I worked as Charge Nurse (Resource nurse). I am NIH stroke and tele certified have my BLS and associates degree. I make between $28-37 depending on what shift i am working. That is pretty much my only working experience. I'm 27 and was a stay at mom/student since high school.

    Any advice or ideas for jobs/childcare?
    Why, why, why would you move away from your support system???

    That is a question you have probably thought about but seriously, reconsider! (unless there is a very good reason)
  8. 2
    As someone else said, focus on taking some good vacations if you want to travel.
    Finding childcare for 12 hour shifts is just about impossible. I can't even imagine finding childcare for a special needs kid. When there's a code or a superbusy night, you have to stay over,no matter when your babysitter needs to leave.
    And depending on your custody agreement, it may be against the law to move out of state (unless for example you were unemployed for a long time and the only job was out of state, and you got this OK'd by family court). Family courts want to keep kids near non-custodial parents, and may even award custody to the parent who chooses not to move out of state on a whim (should your ex- decide to press the issue).
    Sorry if this is harsh, but the day you decide to have a kid a lot of your own choices are gone. I waited a long time to have mine, enjoyed travel, disposable income, and partying in my 20's + 30's, which helps me resign myself to my current situation as a single mom.
    Best of luck figuring it out!
    rockabye and Otessa like this.


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