I am approaching the end of my first year of nursing and need some advice about how I have been feeling and what to do next.
Although I am very proud to be a nurse and do my very best to provide the best care possible, I am getting very little satisfaction from this occupation. I thought at first it was my place of work, so I switched jobs, but my feelings remain unchanged. It has not become 'better'. There are many reasons for my feelings and the main difficulty I am having with nursing is the stress it entails. I am a high stress person by nature and I am finding it very difficult to go home and not analyze every little thing I have done during my shift and worry about those things that were not done so well. I am constantly thinking, did I do that right ? Beyond that, I feel unsatisfied with my level of knowledge and look at other staff with comparable experience and think 'they know so much more than me' and get down on myself. I have even enrolled and almost finished a post-grad certificate and I still feel that I am lacking. Thirdly, although I take pride in helping any patient in any way I can, whether that be a brief change or administering medications, I am viewing these actions as 'tasks', which I know is not a good outlook. All in all, I dread going to work and I am always finding myself searching for new careers. I get through the tasks of the day and hope nothing goes wrong during my shift.
I am now in my second nursing job. The first I left because it was too overwhelming. And although this second job is better (the population and staff are great), I am finding myself once again getting overwhelmed and stressed out (especially when I am in charge).
I really don't know if I am cut out for nursing and the stress and tasks it entails. My patients are fairly stable, but I still get overwhelmed when little things go wrong. My constant analyzing is making me crazy. Does anyone else feel this way ? I would like to stay in nursing and find joy in my career, not just because its good money and well-respected. Any advice/personal experiences would be much appreciated. Thanks !