Should I move out or live with mom during school????

[Misslady113]

I am a 27 year old CNA. I am engaged and have two children. I am currently a PCT and am planning on getting my BSN. My mother gave me the offer of a lifetime. She wants me to focus on school and stay with her for the 4 years and not have to work. But I am craving my independence and would like to get my own place and give something more to my children. My daughter is 9 and getting older and I want to move her to a better neighborhood and give her her own room and space. My fiance is not making enough to support all of us without me working. I just don't know if I want to stay with mom and not work for 4 years, but I know school and working is tough?? What would you do???

[Misslady113]

Thanks everyone for your replies. You all helped me look at this situation with wider eyes. My mom and I have a pretty good relationship. Sometimes she can get stressed by the kids and we can argue a bit, but at the end of the day she really is willing to put aside her personal feelings of wanting her freedom for the betterment of my future. My fiance wants us to move in together, but he is willing to understand if I can't. He said if I stay home he will probably try to move closer to me to help out with school, and it would be a good idea because maybe while I work and save, when I graduate we could invest in a house, rather than spend alot of money on renting an apartment. My main concern is my daughter. She wants to move and has made it clear to me she wants to live in a bigger, better place, and she only has 9 more years of her childhood and I wish I could give her more. But someone said on here, that if I stay with mom, I would have more time for my kids, rather than working full time. And my time with them is VERY important to her, more than a bigger, nicer place. Again, thank you all so much. :heartbeat

[nursel56]

Oh, how well I understand your concern about your daughter, Misslady. I constantly felt the guilt, which is more particular with girls I think- she never did have her own room, and I felt pretty bad when I couldn't buy her "the jeans" ('cause they are never from Wal-mart, dontcha know?) "the cellphone" the, the the.

Well, she is a college sophomore now, and I can tell you with 100% certainty that it is far better to provide them with stability and a future. She, being a child, doesn't know that yet. Parent-child and grandparent-child relationships are usually more stable than boyfriend-girlfriend, and should it not work out with him, the upheaval is much worse than the benefit. Not trying to preach at you, it's just that I've been there. She is studying to be a Physical Therapist now, and she understands what it's like not to have everything handed to you in life.

When all is said and done, if I was able to, I probably would have gladly bought her the stuff she wanted. That just wasn't in the cards, but I honestly think it made her have a strength of character and sense of empathy with people. Again, best wishes to you. :)