sexual harrassment - page 4

Who would you go to????? We work at a small close knit facility. Our payroll clerk has been employed here for years and has been groping female employees for YEARS. Most of the women push him away... Read More

  1. by   chadash
    Sorry, if I am repeating what so many probably have already said, but I am so steamed!
    The man would not have an arm for long if he did that to me, so I probably would be called up on assault charges. Years ago I worked in a mail room and some one did something like that to me (when I was still worth groping ) and I turned and swung at him so fast he never knew what hit him. But them were the good ol' days.
    If I witnessed him doing that to some young lady, I would be so angry I would take him by his ear to the supervisor, and it would be him or me.
    I am not recommending this, but I fear that would be my first impulse.
  2. by   allantiques4me
    Quote from ChristinaV
    Who would you go to?????

    We work at a small close knit facility. Our payroll clerk has been employed here for years and has been groping female employees for YEARS. Most of the women push him away and tend to laugh it off in front of him, Im sure out of embarrasment and fear that he will manipulate the paychecks in some way. Some employees have been more vocal towards him and he leaves them alone for a time but usually resorts back to his old behavior. Lately his behavior has become more disgusting as he now reaches between the legs from behind and gropes private parts then laughs about it. He does this to the aides, nurses and housekeepers. Young and old!!! Problem is he is personal friends with our DON so no one has gone to her. Our new ADON is a very timid woman and the owners are absent. This behavior must stop. It isnt funny! I am a new employee who has been "chosen" to bring this problem to someone who will put an end to it. I have no idea who to go to. One of the employees wants to go to the local police but Im not sure if its a police problem. We cant afford to lose our jobs due to the friendship between our DON and this pervert. Any advice??? I have even spoken to this man about the possiblity of losing his job and possibly his home. I asked if it was worth it. He responded by poking at my breast and walking away. Nothing seems to deter his behavior. What would YOU do??????? Thanks.
    Wheres the chain of command end??Im sure there is a supervisor above the DON.Doesnt she have a supervisor?Anyways, has anyone confronted the DON?Maybe she is unaware of her friends behavior.Or maybe the DON isnt a personal friend of his at all.. How do you know that.?Follow the advice of the policy manual,regarding sexual harrassment issues.And,for sure be assertive to him. How dare he touch your breast!!!My husband would also have been alerted to that.And be sorry about that.Please be sure you document, have copies sent to numerous persons.Maybe even write some documentation and have it signed by all parties that have encountered this idiot.Very last resort ,the news.Youre a nurse could always find a well paying job.Good luck!!
  3. by   kukukajoo
    I would look into the employee manual if there is one and follow their procedures to the letter. Then I would contact EEOC and a women's crisis center. These women who have been dealing with this need support and someone to talk to. The local womens crisis center here would do group meetings as well as support groups. At the very least they can provide you with literature on harassement and assault and what to do during an event.

    If someone is being touched, the police need to be notified immediately. This man may have some very serious mental issues. You need to protect yourself now and in the future.


    A complaint thru EEOC takes FOREVER but is well worth it. This crud needs to be stopped and stopped quickly. Once it is filed, the behavior will HAVE TO BE INVESTIGATED and stopped, even if the suit is going thru still.

    I wish you and your coworkers a speedy end to this monsters unwanted advances and that growth and harmony soon fill this workplace and replace all the hostile actions.
  4. by   Kim O'Therapy
    I used to say my only problem was not having anything to complain about. Now I'm a nurse, and my life is perfect.


    :chuckle :chuckle :chuckle
  5. by   Kim O'Therapy
    Quote from casbeezgirlrn
    well i'd probably break the hands that tried to touch me:d . but anyway, i do applaud you for taking a stand. make this guy stop this criminal,disgusting behavior now! get the police involved, it is sexual assault.
    i have to agree. i think i would have an instinct involuntary reaction too. like a hard slap across the face or slapping his arm and hand away from my breast. umpiron:
  6. by   ChristinaV
    Thanks to all for such an overwhelming response!!!! You know, I also wondered how this situation has been going on for so long. What I witness is a group of predominantly single, financially strapped women in fear of losing their jobs or having thier paychecks tampered with. This man is also responsible for our shift scheduling. He has the power to make life very difficult here. I know.....I know. However in this area, jobs are not plentiful as they may be elsewhere. I also note that in this area of the country, women are still reluctant to have a voice. Not all, but some. And its the "some" that these predators zone in on. I am the new employee, here from a different part of the country which is a bit more progressive in terms of defending ones rights. But you know.......I have also done no more than slap him away and try to "reason" with him. I have been here before, stood up for a cause, been the voice of many, and with dire results to myself. In a perfect world, yes there are laws and rights and just simple morality. Life is different in a small midwestern town. At times I feel Ive ended up in the twilight zone. I agree with the majority here that we should go to our DON as a group. Even if she and the freak are friends, she cant fire all of us. He cant tamper with ALL of our paychecks, cant cut ALL of our hours or schedule us for days that conflict with our availability. I know you are thinking, but if you go to the DON, he wont be here anymore"! Maybe, maybe not. Others in this facility have been kept on just because of who they know. Others have been let go for their lack of popularity. I am one who doesnt get involved in the he said she said nonsense of everyday life. I dont hang out at the nurses station amidst the chaos. If I have down time (ha,ha) I hang with my residents and get to know them, listen to the stories of their lives and just try to keep busy. I am also a new nurse. An "older" new nurse. I worked so hard to get here and was comitted to stay at my first job for the first year as was suggested to us in school. This facility is not your traditional nursing home. We are also have a ventilator unit. I stay for the experience some nurses may never gain in their careers.
    Anyway......this situation cant be allowed to continue. I have an aide who becomes physically ill having to report to duty. I have a 60 some odd year old housekeeper who tells me she hadnt been touched "there" in 30 years. Someone else here made the point, what about the vulnerable population living here? What about children in this perverts family? This is what we decided to do initially.......I went to a woman who has worked here for years and asked her advice. She did NOT seem surprised by what I told her, however swallowed real hard as if to say "oh God we ARE going to have to deal with this finally". She felt that anonymity might get more results as the situation is being brought out into the open. She is going to the staff social worker to report that the employees have a problem. She will ask her to speak to the DON and suggest that the employees be brought in to tell what has happened to them. This way, no one can be labeled the whistle blower. Everyone involved said that if questioned, they would tell the truth. This should have happened yesterday. I dont go back in until tomorrow. I hope I can come back on here and report that hes gone. But something in my gut tells me it wont be that simple. If he stays, the owners will have to be notified and then if nothing is done, then the authorities will become involved. In the meantime we are on gaurd and no one is laughing at him. He has been slapped and punched. He likes it but it helps these women to feel a little less a victim.
  7. by   caliotter3
    Have personally been involved in similar situations so many times. See plenty of trouble, most of it directed to whoever starts the ball rolling. Suggestion: write an anonymous letter to the owners in addition to what you stated in last post. Get prepared for a bad time b/c you, as the last person on the scene, will somehow be blamed for bringing things into the open. And take very seriously the thought that you might have to look for a new job at some point. That is usually the price for not going along with the status quo, no matter how ugly it is. Good luck to you.

    Another thought: Properly written, a warning letter to the off site owners, might be what it takes to get rid of him. They are more likely to be dispassionate about him and more concerned about lawsuits and losing money and reputation in the community if this hits the media.
    Last edit by caliotter3 on Feb 6, '07
  8. by   burn out
    Anyone that knows of the sexual harrassment and does nothing is also guilty of sexual harrassment esp. if it is the DON. Perhaps this is why they are such good friends then it becomes QUID PRO QUO because the DON is management. I would go to the Adminsitrator or CEO of the company or go to an attorney. You can not loose your job for reporting sexual harrassment..the law protects you, you are the victim.
  9. by   Batman24
    I would take action and take it now. If he sees a shift in how people are reacting he might be tipped off and go to the DON first with some crap lies. People like that besides being scum of the earth are often master manipulators. You need to let them know before he speaks out as if he does they will probably side with him not believing no one spoke out previously.

    Looks like someone was getting this started today and I hope they did. I would also have a call into an attorney so they know of your complaint ASAP and can protect you if need be. I hope this works out for you. It truly should.

    Don't be bullied and stand firm. The company will not like hearing this, but they are obligated by law to take action, etc. Don't let them turn it around on all of you. Someone needs to get this guy out of there as he's breaking the law. If he touches you again call the police from a private and secure area.
  10. by   Simplepleasures
    Quote from GregRN
    That's what really bothered me about the whole thing. Too many times people do exactly what's being recommended here: run to the EEOC or an attorney, tell them about all the aweful things that are happening at an organization even though they've never witnessed any of it, it gets invtestigated, people who first told these stories change their story or downplay it, so much so that it's not a reportable incident at all, and the attention goes back to the original "whistle blower" who then looks like a trouble maker for making a big deal out of nothing.

    Again, talk to them about your incident only. If they ask about others' experiences or if others are then willing to come forward, fine. Otherwise, for your own protection, be specific to your experience only and encourage others to come forward with their own experiences.
    Together you stand , united you fall. If you go alone in this it will be near imposible to prove.Strength in numbers.Also I reiterate, they will look out for their own best interests before yours, they are a business, just like all the other healthcare corps out there, money is the bottom line.Dont be misled, please.
  11. by   nurse_nan
    What if he's doing it to the residents when he's not getting his jollies off of the staff? You'll all be dragged in on that one and while he may be the one to actually get the rap, you'll all get a nasty bit of publicity.

    You know what he is, stop him now.
  12. by   jill48
    The first thing I would probably do is punch him in the face; that would actually be a reflex action for me if someone was to assault me like this. Then I would call the police. What the heck is wrong with all the people in this facility to let this happen to them over and over again. Does anyone have any self respect anymore? I tell you what, after I hit him, my husband would get a shot, then my sons would get their shot in, then my father, then brothers, and so on.
  13. by   allantiques4me
    Quote from jill48
    The first thing I would probably do is punch him in the face; that would actually be a reflex action for me if someone was to assault me like this. Then I would call the police. What the heck is wrong with all the people in this facility to let this happen to them over and over again. Does anyone have any self respect anymore? I tell you what, after I hit him, my husband would get a shot, then my sons would get their shot in, then my father, then brothers, and so on.
    Right??

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