Sexism in Nursing (a male point of view) - page 9

As a male in nursing, I feel that I am sometimes treated differently because of my gender. I believe that I am expected to carry a heavier patient load with less assistance from my female coworkers.... Read More

  1. by   Q.
    Dayray, step back. Nurs4kids wasn't speaking as if SHE puts physicians on a pedestal; she was speaking from the general attitude that society placed on physicians. Like it or not, it's true. We all know this. Yes, society is made up of individuals, but there are numerous studies and literature that will confirm what we already know: physicians are more respected than nurses.

    And as for her being a parent, I respect her right to refuse a male nurse cathing her daughter, just as I respect MY right to prefer a female OB/GYN, or Muslim's right to prefer a female OB/GYN, or my mother preferring a male surgeon for her breast CA. It's all about the patient, right?
    Last edit by Susy K on Nov 20, '02
  2. by   LasVegasRN
    Oh good grief, are we going to go into this mess again about male nurses getting upset when a female patient requests a female?? How many times has this board gone over this issue?? RESPECT THE PATIENT'S DECISION!!

    Nurs4kids has a valid reason, WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO INVALIDATE HER VIEWPOINT???

    Ugh!!
  3. by   SmilingBluEyes
    I agree w/Dayray. I mean put it on the other foot...many, many ped's are FEMALE....My son is just on the brink of puberty and very self-conscious about his body and being exposed to anyone, let alone a female. I have taught him from the get-go the difference between appropriate touch (e.g. for medical exam reasons) and inappropriate touch. No one "likes" being vulnerable; being examined or having invasive procedures done makes us feel JUST THAT....but we know there is a necessity to it and learn to deal with it. .

    ....As for me, it was several MEN who did my vaginal exams and delivered my daughter. It was a MAN who was the BEST nurse in my prenatal and labor/delivery experiences. I am SO over the male versus female issue, why can't we ALL BE?????

    NURSE4KIDS.....I can't believe that YOUR words came from a nurse in our day and age! No wonder men are angry in nursing. I would be too, in the face of such an attitude. You illustrate their points eloquently, I am afraid. I guess I am invalidating this viewpoint...not meaning to offend, but I am appalled I guess, no other word for it.
    Last edit by SmilingBluEyes on Nov 20, '02
  4. by   LasVegasRN
    Smiling, the plain and ugly truth is our society is still evolving. Just as DayRay has had patients tell him they prefer a female nurse, I've had patients just as recent as 1995 tell me they prefer a WHITE nurse. Do these attitudes make it right? No. But it still boils down to RESPECTING THE PATIENT'S WISHES. No it won't be possible to accomodate them everytime but we are not the moral police for society.

    We just had a thread on here about a nurse and child pornography. How many physician's have we heard that have assaulted patients while under anesthesia? Nurs4kids has a valid concern and has a RIGHT to act under that concern AS the client.
  5. by   Q.
    Originally posted by SmilingBluEyes
    I am SO over the male versus female issue, why can't we ALL BE?????

    Debbie, because it's a patient's choice. To force a patient to accept a certain provider simply based on gender alone to prove a point is wrong, in my opinion. I have a right to chose a female OB/GYN, and so does Nurs4kids. End of story.
  6. by   Dayray
    I will not step back and as I stated in those other posts THIS IS NOT A PATIENT ISSUE!!!!

    this is a nurseing issue. The idea that patients are uncomfortable with male nurses is a projection of your insecurity. Nurses are uncomfortable with male nurses. Their are a few patients who prefer a female nurse but I can tell you form experance these are few and far between.

    And her post was not a comment on socity's veiws of nurses and doctors it was used to support her opinion that male nurses providing care to females is a unacepatble. As far as I can tell socity has not yet formed it's view of nurseing. We as nurses have the oppertunity to mold socitys perception of us. If we allow people like Nurse4kids to contiue spewing their sexist small minded drivel that is what will carry over into socity.

    Iam tierd of being nice about peoples ugly opionins of me. I am tired of waiting for the nursing communtiy to come into the 21st centery. I am tired of being viewed as a male who happens to be a nurse rahter then a nurse who happens to be male.

    male, female, ambigus, white, black, yellow, green, blue, all just adjetives to describe human beings!

    To restate once again : I am not talking about patients prefrance or their rights I am talking about nurses and their views. If you dont belive their is a bias toward men in nurseing then you are bias!

    My gloves are most certainly off !
  7. by   Dayray
    oops double post
    Last edit by Dayray on Nov 20, '02
  8. by   LasVegasRN
    Originally posted by Dayray
    ...If we allow people like Nurse4kids to contiue spewing their sexist small minded drivel that is what will carry over into socity....
    Uh oh. It's ON now. Watch out. :uhoh21:
  9. by   nurs4kids
    Welllll, Mr Dayray..get your pants out of a wad, dear.

    First of all, I don't have to teach my daughter ANYTHING about male docs.. her pediatrician is female. I have just simply taught her that NOone should be looking at her privates without me present. pretty simple, eh?

    Secondly, NEVER did I say your interest lays below your belt..NEVER. Doctor's ARE above average..like it or not, it's fact..that's why THEY make the six figures. I never said they were better humans, just more accepted for procedures involving females. I do not need to blame society for anything, I'm a confident woman..I have no problem standing behind MY beliefs. HOWEVER, it is a fact that from the time they are small, kids are(should be) taught that a man has no business touching their vagina, etc. The exception to that is their doctor, who until recently, was usually male. The reason for that exception being made was because there was no other option.

    I'm very surprised that you have only been refused on two occassions. The men I work with have NEVER cathed a female child who was over a year old because either the parent or the patient ALWAYS request a female nurse to cath. I've even had to change patient assignments after reaching the floor because a patient didn't want a man because she was on her menstrual cycle. If I were your patient, I'd also request a female nurse to do any care required "below the belt". Call it what you wish, but it's my right to choose.

    Now, you're saying I have a "small mind" is a direct personal attack and is against the TOS. If I truly had a "small mind", I'd report your post and wipe out this thread. BUT, I'm WOMAN enough to overlook your attempt to retaliate with personal attacks instead of articulate debate.

    I do hope you'll soon recover from your "illness".
    peace
  10. by   Q.
    Whoa, Dayray, posting twice? Yeesh.

    While I read your post one thing kept popping in my mind and that is, nurs4kids, while a nurse, is still a patient. And while she is in the patient role, she has every right to determine if she wants a male or female touching her daughter at this young age, while trying to be consistent in her teachings of inappropriate touching. For now, it might be easier for a young 4 year old to distinquish between a male in a white lab coat in the doctor's office, and a male nurse wearing scrubs. Sorry, but I agree with her here. To use her daughter to promote nursing's agenda of equality of sexes is not to be expected of her. I certainly wouldn't do it. This is her kid we're talking about.
  11. by   nurs4kids
    whoa, didn't see that last post before I replied..

    Delray,
    I have no problem with men in nursing, actually I LOVE the men I work with..
    It IS about a patient's right to choose.
    I will not allow you to turn this into a male vs female debate as that is NOT what I said. I have the utmost respect for a nurse based on their performance, not on their sex. YOU obviously have a chip on your shoulder that did NOT just start after reading my post. I'm sorry you've felt cheated by the profession. I will still refuse to allow you to cath me or my daughter. I have just transferred to a unit where there are no males except for the HN. I have actually strongly encourged him to hire some male nurses as I feel it makes for a wonderful balance of staff. YOU are trying to put words into my mouth..go for it. I never said male nurses were not welcome in nursing..I simply said females have a right to refuse..just as male patients have a right to refuse a female.

    Once again, I'm requesting you please chill with your personal attacks. If you want to debate my opinion, go for it, but PLEASE stop posting derogatory remarks directed straight at me.
  12. by   LeXXX
    I can see how being "picked" on all the time to help with heavy jobs could become frustrating. I am interseted in becoming a nurse BECAUSE I can provide these kind of complimentary duties to the female staff. I am not trying to be sexist in saying that either. I just think that the future will have a more evenly distributed medical population that might complement both sexes.
  13. by   nurs4kids
    Originally posted by SmilingBluEyes
    I agree w/Dayray. I mean put it on the other foot...many, many ped's are FEMALE....My son is just on the brink of puberty and very self-conscious about his body and being exposed to anyone, let alone a female. I have taught him from the get-go the difference between appropriate touch (e.g. for medical exam reasons) and inappropriate touch. No one "likes" being vulnerable; being examined or having invasive procedures done makes us feel JUST THAT....but we know there is a necessity to it and learn to deal with it. .
    Smiling,
    As long as I'm alive, my daughter will not have to "learn to deal with it". There are female docs and female nurses. Why should she have to "learn to deal with it"?? Same can be said for my son. When he's old enough to be self-conscious, if he prefers a male doc, then a male doc it'll be. It's simple..I just don't see the sexism in this case. I see it as a patient's right.

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