"Send my girl down here now"...(Please.....) - page 2

I was writing a progress note today on a cardiac step-down unit when my concentration was shattered by a booming voice coming through the patient-call system. An 60 y/o gentleman (for lack of a better word)exclamied, "Send my... Read More

  1. 0
    You make an excellent point Rick. We do live in a "fast-food" era. I have experienced your situation (at Home Depot) more than once. I guess it seems more blatant (to me)in nursing because physicians (particuarly male) are placed on a pedestal,where as female nurses are deemed by the public (in general) to have a subservient role. There is such a stark contrast in how each role is perceived. Of course, gender plays a significant role here as well. However, you've made an excellent point.

    QUOTE]Originally posted by CEN35:
    well let me say that you are not far off. While I agree with your interpretations of E.R. etc. there is much more than the TV show issues. However, certainly, ER showing the nurse to use her best judgement in a critical situation to save a patients life would help. Certainly showing the extent of time needed for charting and documenting, would help (accurately). Unfortunately you are not the first too notice that the medical shows focus on physicians and/or medics. How many truely portray the "nurse". None that I have seen?
    On the other hand, e are living in the era of new technology and "fast food".

    "Fast food era" - definition - An era in which everybody is so consumed with their own life, that they expect everything to be drive up and/or wait on you, hand and foot at a speed just short of the speed of sound. If it does not happen that way, they loose it or blow up. I think society as a whole, has expected human employees to keep up with, and be treated like crap. Why? "Because it's your job". Not just nurses, any job.
    I had a lady the other day at Home Depote walk up, while I was standing in line with three sheets of plywood, and 12 2x4x8's, and some other stuff. She had two things with her. She walked in front of me, and pretended to be looking at something at the register stand. Then when the person in front of me was finished, she put her stuff on the counter, and pulled out her credit card, and never said a owrd too me. She didn't even look at me? I wanted to let loose on her and ask her if she was blind? Ask her what the hell she was doing? Maybe ask if she was just plain ignorant? Then I thought? Where does that put me? In the "fast food era". It doesn't make me any better than the rest. So I bit my tongue, let her ring out, and just smiled at the cashier, and said how are you today?

    enough said

    Rick
    [/QUOTE]

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  2. 0
    My humble opinion is that it is never okay to take personal abuse without letting the abuser know they are out of line. I differentiate between personal abuse and the stuff that's directed everywhere out of frustration, pain, or craziness. When I confront this kind of behavior, I tend to speak even more softly than usual, but very precisely let them know that the behavior is not acceptable, and if they wish to have me continue their care, they will not continue doing what they're doing. I see nothing professional about putting up with abuse.
  3. 0
    I wish more people would handle situations like this. Perhaps if they would patients would get the idea that this type of behavior is inappropriate.
    Last week I spent three days taking care of the most noncompliant, PIA patient I have ever had in 10 years of nursing. He is old ETOH abuse, as well as past herion addict. Paralyzed from the waist down with AKA on one side. He is with us to heal huge hole in his coccyx, this is his third flap on it. In my ten years I can count on one hand the amount of patients I have had that were actually drug seeking and he is one of them. He has demerel PRN, scheduled toradol, diludid PRN, ativan PRN, vicadin PRN and ambien PRN at night. He is well aware of everything he has, never has he displayed anything I could call pain symptoms. The last day I had him in my assignment all I could do was groan, he is incredibly rude and obnoxious. Anyway I gave the scheduled toradol, within 45 minutes he was also asking for demerol, vicadin and the ativan. I refused to give it all in that time span, I gave the demeral IVP as ordered, 15 minutes after the toradol, like the patient requested, but then would not give the ativan and the vicadin as he wanted. He had requested them together. He had just gotten the toradol IM, not giving it time to work effectively before asking for the demerol, now I know the toradol is not a narcotic, but he got 75 mg of demerol only 15 minutes later. When I refused to give the ativan(10 mg) and two vicadin half an hour after the demerol, I was called many things including a ******* ***** . At that point after having dealt with this for 3 days I refused to take care of the patient anymore. Told him I would not be back to the room, went to the charge nurse and told her what had happened that day, she was familiar with what this patient had been pulling, not only on me but the other nurses. She ended up taking care of him because not one other nurse would take care of him. The day before he had thrown his coffee cup at me because I took 20 minutes to get to his room after he had called for me. God forbid, I was doing a dressing change on someone else. I called his physician and let him know what was going on, that I would not be taking care of this patient anymore, and we were having difficulty with having anyone take care of him because of his behavior. The physician tells me that the patient has the same pattern wherever he goes, and that the reason he is in my hospital is because he was denied admission to the other area hospitals, and that the last group of physicians that took care of him had refused to do so again. The physician then told me he would be coming in shortly. When he got there he told the patient that if he continued to behave this way he would be discharged home and that would be that. That none of us had to put up with his abuse, and would not. I about fell over. This is not a physician that normally cares about the nurses in the least, I don't even particularly like him. However at least since then the patient has been decent to work with. Some of these people simply have to be told their behavior is inappropriate and will not be tolerated. So kudos to you Jason, I think that patients that behave like this should be told in no uncertain terms that it is not going to be tolerated.
  4. 0
    GREAT JOB JASON.
    I am all for not taking abuse from patients. It is not tolerated. I have had to go in afew times and tell patients point blank that their behavior wont be toerated. I too will usually use a very low voice when I tell them, just so I have their attention.

    You remember the saying dont you:
    "The truly sick, don't B***H!!
  5. 0
    Originally posted by Joanm:
    I wonder where the public gets the idea that we are handmaidens. Did anyone see Jay Leno last night? One of his "jokes" was that he had seen on CNN that there was a nursing shortage. And we can't do without nurses, because without nurses there would be no more porn movies.
    This is so, so sad. I can't even respond other than just shutting my eyes and hanging my head in heartfelt disbelief and hurt.

    Jason, I applaud the way you handled this patient. Regardless of what he was going through, whether it be fear,lonliness, whatever, is no excuse for degrading another human being, one, might I add, that is there to help this "gentlemen." His attitude towards nurses, and women is disrespectful and should not be tolerated under any circumstances. We cannot continue to allow behavior like this without consequences.

    Good job. I wish I had you on my floor.
  6. 0
    I practice family centered care in the NICU I work in, and I believe the family is a very important part of the team when you work with sick children. I believe that their concerns are valid. I believe that familes need to be listened to, and be involved in the decision making regarding their babies' care. They need to have truly informed consent about treatments. They have a right to know the qualifications of the staff that are involved in their babies' care. We have to work with families, as they are the ones that have to eventually take their baby home and deal with outcomes either good or bad. Does this mean we accept abuse? Absoulutley not!!I have been sworn at and threatened by patients. I had one Mom tell me that essentially it was "my job" to take her abuse., this coming from a supposedly well educated individual. It is not our job to take abuse. Yes we need to have empathy and compassion, and to realize that very often people's reactions are a result of the incredible strain they are under. We need to keep communication lines open and to treat indivduals with dignity and respect. However, we are not door mats. People need to know this, and we should call them on their behaviour if we feel we are being abused or treated in a disrespectful manner. Respect is a two way street. I have often found that if I am open with a family about their behaviour that we can then work through the issue. As a profession we also need to support and respect one another. I agree that often we are portrayed very negatively by Hollywood. We are also often not given a lot of respect by administration and the physicians we work with. We need to educate people about what we actually do. This seems like a huge task to undertake, but I think we should start by treating each other well, and talking to people , schools etc about we do. Let's all email Jay Leno. And just for the record, when David Letterman had his bypass surgery, he had nothing but good things to say about nursing and had a good sense of what we actually do. Let's continue this vein and share ideas about what we need to do. Thanks, Jan
  7. 0
    I practice family centered care in the NICU I work in, and I believe the family is a very important part of the team when you work with sick children. I believe that their concerns are valid. I believe that familes need to be listened to, and be involved in the decision making regarding their babies' care. They need to have truly informed consent about treatments. They have a right to know the qualifications of the staff that are involved in their babies' care. We have to work with families, as they are the ones that have to eventually take their baby home and deal with outcomes either good or bad. Does this mean we accept abuse? Absoulutley not!!I have been sworn at and threatened by patients. I had one Mom tell me that essentially it was "my job" to take her abuse., this coming from a supposedly well educated individual. It is not our job to take abuse. Yes we need to have empathy and compassion, and to realize that very often people's reactions are a result of the incredible strain they are under. We need to keep communication lines open and to treat indivduals with dignity and respect. However, we are not door mats. People need to know this, and we should call them on their behaviour if we feel we are being abused or treated in a disrespectful manner. Respect is a two way street. I have often found that if I am open with a family about their behaviour that we can then work through the issue. As a profession we also need to support and respect one another. I agree that often we are portrayed very negatively by Hollywood. We are also often not given a lot of respect by administration and the physicians we work with. We need to educate people about what we actually do. This seems like a huge task to undertake, but I think we should start by treating each other well, and talking to people , schools etc about we do. Let's all email Jay Leno. And just for the record, when David Letterman had his bypass surgery, he had nothing but good things to say about nursing and had a good sense of what we actually do. Let's continue this vein and share ideas about what we need to do. Thanks, Jan
  8. 0
    I agree with everything you have said. I think that part of the problem is that at times it may be difficult to differentiate disprectful behavior that stems from fear/apprehension vs. manipulative, condescending behavior. It is also very difficult for some nurses to confront this behavior, and thus many times it is easier to dismiss the behavior as fear, or just ignore it completely. Whether it is fear or just manipulative, disrespectful behavior, it should be addressed. The patient may need help in working through the fear, and it will allow seasoned nurses to assess whether the pt. is acutally apprehensive, or just manipulative.
    Also, as you pointed out, education is a key point in addressing the gross misperceptions of the "general public". People outside of nursing/medicine can not begin to phathom the roles we embrace. Education by nurses is key. As one person pointed out, we have to do this on our own. We have to fight our own battles and clean up the tarnished perception of nursing. To begin, we do need to treat each other better. I know of no other discipline that belittles one another such as nurses. That's part of the reason I left the mainstream. It seems to be a vicious cycle. Open communication is the key. Open commmunication with each other, with patients, with physicians, and with the general public. (By the way, as you know, condescending physicians are inexcusable and should not be tolerated. If open communication does not work with them, then make a firm stand. Don't be afraid. What can they do? Fire you? Please... You may find that they begin to view you in a differnt light).

    The nursing shortage is not going to get any better. Thus, nurses need to band together. As the nursing shortage continues to grow, the news media will pay more and more attention. I imagine that local news casts and newspapers will eventually give a great deal of time (and print) to this issue (such as a lengthy segment, which would give nurses the opportunity to paint an accurate picture of nursing. I woujld like to see Wildtime sit down with Ed Bradley from 60 Minutes or Ted Kopel from Nightline, or the host of Talk Back Live with CNN, etc. Personally, I would jump at the chance. I would love to introduce America to the critical thinking skills and talents that nurses illustrate everday. "This is not General Hospital". However, make no mistake. I am a very strong proponent of the 3 day (or more) walkout that has been proposed. I am going to discuss it locally with my colleagues.
    Finally, I do remember Dave Letterman addressing the nurses who provided his perioperative care. Good for him. It's a damn shame that comments like Leno's probally leave a lasting effect (even if it is subconcious). I think that what he said (along with an email address or a mailing address) should be distributed on a flyer to each floor/unit within your hospital to encourage your colleagues to respond. Why not? It takes only a couple of minutes.

    Good points.

    I practice family centered care in the NICU I work in, and I believe the family is a very important part of the team when you work with sick children. I believe that their concerns are valid. I believe that familes need to be listened to, and be involved in the decision making regarding their babies' care. They need to have truly informed consent about treatments. They have a right to know the qualifications of the staff that are involved in their babies' care. We have to work with families, as they are the ones that have to eventually take their baby home and deal with outcomes either good or bad. Does this mean we accept abuse? Absoulutley not!!I have been sworn at and threatened by patients. I had one Mom tell me that essentially it was "my job" to take her abuse., this coming from a supposedly well educated individual. It is not our job to take abuse. Yes we need to have empathy and compassion, and to realize that very often people's reactions are a result of the incredible strain they are under. We need to keep communication lines open and to treat indivduals with dignity and respect. However, we are not door mats. People need to know this, and we should call them on their behaviour if we feel we are being abused or treated in a disrespectful manner. Respect is a two way street. I have often found that if I am open with a family about their behaviour that we can then work through the issue. As a profession we also need to support and respect one another. I agree that often we are portrayed very negatively by Hollywood. We are also often not given a lot of respect by administration and the physicians we work with. We need to educate people about what we actually do. This seems like a huge task to undertake, but I think we should start by treating each other well, and talking to people , schools etc about we do. Let's all email Jay Leno. And just for the record, when David Letterman had his bypass surgery, he had nothing but good things to say about nursing and had a good sense of what we actually do. Let's continue this vein and share ideas about what we need to do. Thanks, Jan[/QUOTE]

  9. 0
    Jason,
    I wished you worked with me. Thank you for standing up to the double standard.
    Like an obidient dog, nurses have been trained to allow the abuse. "I be nurse, kick me, I not bite back." I am sure we could find justicfication for this person's rudeness, that is because nursing remains in the dark-ages when it comes to conduct, and we can rationalize any problem away. I am sure you will hear about this although.
  10. 0
    Damn.. that is unbelieveable. (Well, I believe it, but it is truly sad.) That is a perfect example of what I am talking about. How many millions of viewers saw that monologue? I feel that a comment such as that that which reaches millions of people diminshes does a significant amount of damage. Unfortunately, as the nursing shortage continues to expand, you will see more and more negative publicity such as that. Speaking of porn, a physician made the following comment a few weeks ago. "Whores receive more respect than most nurses, and until nursing makes a stand, maybe they should". I quickly reminded him that nursing is the backbone of this hospital, etc, etc,. His reply is "Of course you are right! Nurses have more power than they could ever imagine! They may be the backbone of this hospital, but they are lacking a backbone, which is why nursing is in the shape it is in". Case in point. I went to see Jay Leno (the Tonight Show) this past August. While my girlfriend and I were touring Beverly Hills, I was listening to Danny Bonaduce (?), the former television personality who is now a radio personality. He was discussing the nursing shortage in CA, and stated, "Nurses are being offered $5,000 SIGN ON BONUSES!!!! HELL, FOR THAT KIND OF MONEY, I COULD PUT ON ONE OF THOSE NURSING CAPS AND PASS OUT BED PANS!!!"
    I agree with the person who suggested a 3 day walk-out nationwide. As callous as it sounds, I wish it could be done. Acutually, a seven day walk-out would be better. Especially during a time that Jay Leno needed open-heart surgery.

    Originally posted by Joanm:
    I wonder where the public gets the idea that we are handmaidens. Did anyone see Jay Leno last night? One of his "jokes" was that he had seen on CNN that there was a nursing shortage. And we can't do without nurses, because without nurses there would be no more porn movies.


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