Second Chances

  1. 22

    I failed 2nd semester nursing school.I wallowed in misery for a bit, then I picked myself back up again. I did my remediation and was given a second chance. Woo-hoo, I moved onto 3rd semester:) and I encourage those who are at their breaking point to look into their soul and make a plan.

    Second Chances

    NUMB. FROZEN. PARALYZED. STUPID. FAILURE. I felt these emotions and more on that decided day. I failed second semester nursing school and I was done. I failed by 1% exactly. Such a small percent in general yet oceans apart in nursing school. This number represented the difference between the haves and have-nots. Those that moved forward and those that stood still. I was the latter.

    The final scores were posted in the nursing lounge on the bulletin board where all could see. People were high fiving and running around in small circles of happiness. And then there were those of us with solemn expressions of pained disappoint.

    All I was thinking at that moment was please don’t ask me if I made it or not. My classmates would be moving on without me. Maybe it was a mistake. I checked my score again.

    No mistake...I failed.

    I somehow managed to make my way down the corridor for my exit interview. My feet felt so heavy and my shoulders felt like I had a giant boulder on each one. As I sat in the hall waiting my turn, I could hear muffled sobs of failure, and in the distance I could also hear those fortunate ones who made it and their unrestrained cheering which put a dagger through my soul.

    I was in shock and disbelief.

    I was a shiny embarrassment for all to see. In a moments notice my life changed and it changed for the worse. I’m not a young student anymore but a married woman who had a husband who worked overtime to put me through school so I wouldn’t have to work. I screwed up and wasted precious time and money that we really didn’t have. I was also at the expiration date of my pre-reqs. If I wanted to enroll in another nursing program I’d have to take all my pre-reqs over again. This all equated to more time and money that I didn’t have.

    How did I let this happen?

    All of my tiny mistakes added up and led me to this.

    I always wanted to be a registered nurse but also felt that I wasn't smart enough to make it. Maybe my insecurities came to fruition? Perhaps I should do something else? All these miserable thoughts overcame me so I walked to my car, drove down the parking lot where no one could hear me and I screamed at the top of my lungs. I screamed over and over again until my throat waved it’s white flag.

    I composed myself and drove back and waited for my turn at the exit interview. With my head hung low, I asked if I could start over and was told that my chances were pretty good if I completed remediation. That’s all I needed to hear! If they let me back in I would exhaust all resources possible before I was willing to accept this permanent failure.

    I repeated second semester and passed! I am officially a 3rd semester student and will begin in Fall 2011! I challenge those of you who failed, who think they are too old, who think they are not smart enough, who think about giving up to dig deep down within and lift yourself up and do whatever it takes. I admit that I am not the smartest or the youngest student nurse out there but I AM very determined. There was a quote I heard and it’s something to the effect of “There are those who fall down and there are those who stay down”…this time I am not the latter.
    Last edit by Joe V on Jan 9, '15 : Reason: formatting for easier reading
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    Joe V, tameka_8199, Barneymurch, and 19 others like this.
  2. Visit  caffeineaddict profile page

    About caffeineaddict

    My name is Jacqueline and I am a 30+ year old registered nursing student. I am sadly addicted to caffeine :), and I live in Los Angeles Ca. with my husband. I have a bassett hound and a minpin and I always cheer for the underdog! I should be graduating Spring 2012.

    Joined Dec '09; Posts: 201; Likes: 77.

    Read My Articles

    21 Comments so far...

  3. Visit  AngelicDarkness profile page
    1
    I also failed a semester by 1%. Darn those percentages.
    caffeineaddict likes this.
  4. Visit  Mandy LVN profile page
    1
    Congrats on getting back in and going on to finish. I failed out of the LVN to RN transition program this year by 2 points on the dosage calculation exam. I have a guaranteed spot next year and am going to take it and PASS that darn test! I was absolutely devastated. I have been an LVN for almost 10 years and have wanted to go back to RN school for most of those 10 years. After working so hard to even get in, I lasted a week and a half and let that stupid test psych me out. Not again tho.
    caffeineaddict likes this.
  5. Visit  caffeineaddict profile page
    0
    Quote from Mandy LVN
    Congrats on getting back in and going on to finish. I failed out of the LVN to RN transition program this year by 2 points on the dosage calculation exam. I have a guaranteed spot next year and am going to take it and PASS that darn test! I was absolutely devastated. I have been an LVN for almost 10 years and have wanted to go back to RN school for most of those 10 years. After working so hard to even get in, I lasted a week and a half and let that stupid test psych me out. Not again tho.
    I have an lvn license also(although I haven't worked as one). I wish you nothing but success and I know you'll make it the next time around.
  6. Visit  Mandy LVN profile page
    0
    Thanks!!!
  7. Visit  Katalina profile page
    1
    Congrats! And thanks for sharing. Your a very good writer.
    caffeineaddict likes this.
  8. Visit  caffeineaddict profile page
    0
    Quote from Katalina
    Congrats! And thanks for sharing. Your a very good writer.
    Thanx Katalina..u made me blush
  9. Visit  prettymica profile page
    1
    Congrats to you! I am so thrilled you saw this 1% as a small stone and not a boulder. Stay positive !
    caffeineaddict likes this.
  10. Visit  PerrelliFNP profile page
    3
    My dear, never, never, never give up....Just think, anyone who has failed and repeated nursing tests or courses only get double the education...never too much education...the test of success is really how many times you can get up when you are knocked down by life. I just became a Nurse Practitoner one year ago, I am 55 years old and foreign born. I want to get a Phd in Public Health and go back to my country to work with the poor there. As a NP working with geriatrics you can make $130,000 a year in the depressed economy of Ohio. Education gives us options in life. Failure is just a stepping stone!
    I congratulate you for going back and taking it up, you my dear are my hero!
  11. Visit  prettymica profile page
    0
    Well said !
  12. Visit  survrgrl08 profile page
    1
    I am so relieved to of seen this post. I too failed at Nursing school last fall. After much bad mouthing, wallowing in self pity, etc, etc, I re enrolled for this fall. I am excited to go back and I realized what I did and didn't do as a student. Staying clear of drama and downers is essential!!! Studying more or more smart is crucial. My family fell under duress last fall and I needed them more than school. Now that all is well and I have an incredible job working in home care and support from my spouse, I WILL SUCCEED THIS FALL!!!

    Thank u for the inspiration to go on!!
    caffeineaddict likes this.
  13. Visit  merrywhiterose profile page
    1
    I was in the first quarter of the second year when I had to have surgery. I missed too many days of class but was passing until the final. I was still under strong medications when I dragged my butt into the school for the final. I failed. So, I took a year and caught up with myself and took some classes for my Bachelor's degree. When I did jump back into the program 1 yr. later, I passed at the age of 53! I just passed the NCLEX-RN last week! You are never too old to chase your dreams!
    caffeineaddict likes this.
  14. Visit  animalcookie1 profile page
    2
    Thank you so much for your post!!! I can't tell you how many times I have felt those exact feelings. I am 44 going through nursing school. I have finished my first semester, just getting into school itself was a challenge for me. I am a single mother working and going through school and it is ROUGH at times. Thanks again for the words of encouragement!! Good Luck with the remainder of school!!
    milzer2012 and caffeineaddict like this.


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