Reference from current manager..what to do??

I have been asked to be a reference for a few friends and I agreed. I was surprised however when the potential employer left me a message and asked me to call THEM! Isn't it the other way around? Well I did call back and left a message all about my friend and I guess that was good enough. But now in the future I am prepared to call back especially after reading this post I can see that is the way it is sometimes.

I think you have received some good advice here. And I do believe your manager thinks she shouldn't have to call anyone back. That's what I thought at first too.

And to the other poster RE passive aggressive behavor. Both men and women equally display this characteristic. I have seen it! LOL

I agree that it is not her responsibility to call these people back. And although it is probably a passive aggressive action on her part, she is letting everyone know that she does not appreciate giving up any of her time to assist an employee to find work elsewhere. I would discuss this with future prospective employers and ask them if you could use alternate references. That is about all you can do, unless they continue to call until they get the woman on the line. Good luck.

I think her track record is a proof that she will not call and will not be a good reference for another employer. And you said it too, you lost jobs because of that attitude of hers. If she did that before, why would you still insist on making her a reference? Didn’t you get the drift? I think it’s not uncommon that bosses would not feel good when an employee wants to leave-----especially if they are really good employees.

Totally agree. When I found out that a previous manager, after giving me his word that he would be a good reference, was in fact seeing that I couldn't get work, I immediately stopped using his name for a reference.

I have always explained that I would prefer they not call my current manager (except in one case where the position was being eliminated). This is not because I don't think I will not get a decent reference, but more because I am concerned that it will create bad feelings at work. I use other RNs who work with me, school, and previous jobs. If it comes down to needed to confirm dates of employment for a job, I will allow them to do that. Most recruiters/HR folks and managers understand. If they don't, I probably don't want to work with them.