People think you are rich because you are a nurse

  1. 16 First I had to loan my in-laws 1500.00 to keep the bank from foreclosing on their home (never got it back). Then 2 other people borrowed 20.00 and never paid me back. Now I have this so-called "friend" who calls me about 2-3 times per month to borrow money. She has 5 kids and uses the line "the baby needs milk" or "we have no food". Now, neither work and they draw checks, foodstamps, plus the kids draw checks as well, they get assistance with utilities, and free medical care and free medicines. I used to loan them money, never to get it back. I felt sorry for them. Well, I wont loan them money anymore, but they still try it constantly. She called me 4 times today WHILE I WAS WORKING...hinting for money. I work all day 5 days a week while they lay on their butts all day and do nothing (there is more physically wrong with me than either of them). Im working, they can too. But they honestly think Im rich because Im a nurse and I can just shell out money at a moment's notice. Do any of you experience this with people? I get tired of watching lazy people (not the people who actually need help) get so much help and still expect more from people who WORK. Im tired of lines like "you are a nurse and make the big bucks", etc. grrrrrrrrr.
    And yes, the doors to "chenoaspirit national bank" are now closed. lol, but I just find it so frustrating. I will no longer allow anyone to make me feel sorry for them. I feel bad when I say no, but dang.
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  3. Visit  chenoaspirit profile page

    About chenoaspirit

    From 'kentucky'; Joined Sep '03; Posts: 1,044; Likes: 709.

    88 Comments so far...

  4. Visit  caliotter3 profile page
    1
    My kid does this to me all the time and I don't know how many times I've closed the doors to the bank just to open them again. Only difference is that she does work. I have to give her credit for that.
    VivaLasViejas likes this.
  5. Visit  marielina85 profile page
    1
    ...thats how it is with my family.even though i know theyre my family and i dont mind helping them i usually never see back the money i loan.they just assume i have money since im a nurse.wish it was that easy huh??nurses gotta bust theyre butt and hard!!!!!im sick and tired of people thinking i **** money lol...i dont blame you girl those lazies need to get to work and stop being leeches.
    Last edit by HM2VikingRN on May 18, '10 : Reason: asterisks....
    tokidoki7 likes this.
  6. Visit  MrsLRJ profile page
    3
    You have to put your foot down and let them know one you are not rich, second you are not a door mat for them to step on
    tokidoki7, SnowStar4, and lvaliav like this.
  7. Visit  chenoaspirit profile page
    0
    my daughter and my stepdaughters will say things like "dont change jobs, then we wont be rich anymore" And its like pulling teeth to get them to even do some chores around the house to help out. Im just very upset tonight. This one person kept calling me on my cellphone while I was working. i wish there was some way to block numbers on cellphones.
  8. Visit  Batman25 profile page
    9
    My husband and I recently closed the bank too. We were kind but firm about it. It isn't our job to support people living above their means. It felt like we were being penalized for getting educations and working hard.
    Kim, HHRN, tokidoki7, RPN_2012, and 6 others like this.
  9. Visit  chenoaspirit profile page
    0
    Well, the kicker was they had just given me the sob story of needing food, but then went and bought stain for their porch. Hmm, lets seeeee, which is more important....stain, food, stain, food. Hmm, not a no-brainer. Then they went out and bought a navigator (those things that tell you directions). They never go anywhere!
  10. Visit  MrsLRJ profile page
    3
    Quote from chenoaspirit
    Well, the kicker was they had just given me the sob story of needing food, but then went and bought stain for their porch. Hmm, lets seeeee, which is more important....stain, food, stain, food. Hmm, not a no-brainer. Then they went out and bought a navigator (those things that tell you directions). They never go anywhere!
    clearly they are using you
  11. Visit  resumecpr profile page
    2
    Sounds like your "so-called" friends are using you. If I were you, not only would I close the bank, but I would also end all communication. If you call your cellphone carrier you can have their number blocked. Best of luck!
    CBsMommy and tokidoki7 like this.
  12. Visit  marielina85 profile page
    5
    Quote from chenoaspirit
    Well, the kicker was they had just given me the sob story of needing food, but then went and bought stain for their porch. Hmm, lets seeeee, which is more important....stain, food, stain, food. Hmm, not a no-brainer. Then they went out and bought a navigator (those things that tell you directions). They never go anywhere!
    I would have told them straight out...if u can afford a navigator im sure u can buy some food.
    CBsMommy, MrsLRJ, Ruthiegal, and 2 others like this.
  13. Visit  shiccy profile page
    4
    Quote from marielina85
    I would have told them straight out...if u can afford a navigator im sure u can buy some food.
    'zactly. That's why places like Best buy have return policies. SORRY!

    I have had friends like this. They don't necessarily mean to at times, or at least I don't think they do...

    I like to cook (or at least used to) but always make too much. I'm single and live by myself, so I would invite a friend over and we'd cook. He would eat his fair share, but never bring anything over EVER. That was brought to light in the form of me telling him, "Well I'm supplying the MEAT, and the SIDES, can you bring something over too?" He was grumpy about it, but did in the end.

    Also had a former roommate that was getting further and further behind on rent. I'm 26 and he just turned 30 this year. He's in college (started late obviously) and was obsessed with finding a girlfriend. He was single as well, and couldn't deal with the fact, I think, of being alone at this age. He spent $50 on cologne, $30 on FACE CREAM, big bucks on the gel body soap (bars are *much* more economical), HUGE money on hair wax, soap, conditioner, clothes, etc. ....... but he couldn't pay rent or utilities on time. Oh and he drank at LEAST three+ times a week... Needless to say I no longer have a roommate (although I also lost a friend in the process)

    These people exist, but when the time comes that they're annoying the heck out of you, you need to set firm limits... Honestly, you probably could phrase it a bit better, but the next time some of them ask for money, you could say, "You know I love helping people out, but I'm spending so much money on others that I don't have hardly enough for myself!"

    Finally, and most importantly, if you EVER give out >$500 ALWAYS have in writing that they're going to pay you back in "x" amount of time, and make it VERY clear in the wording that the amount you're giving is A LOAN, and in no way a 'gift'. This makes people get a little more honest. You'd probably never take them to court over it, but since they signed a paper saying it'll happen, you officially have that hanging over their heads.

    If another friend is a notary, that helps, too.

    Finally, $20 here and there is something that shouldn't even be on your radar. If you go out to eat with them, "conveniently" forget your wallet and mention it on the way to the restaurant. That way you can say, "Well would you mind picking it up." If they complain about it, you always have the option of saying, "Well I mean I did give you the $20 before.... Not saying I'm going to spend that much, but we can call it even if I don't."

    Finally, Good luck - telling people "no" when you have it is hard to do.
    TDCHIM, tokidoki7, RPN_2012, and 1 other like this.
  14. Visit  marielina85 profile page
    0
    Quote from shiccy
    'zactly. That's why places like best buy have return policies. Sorry!

    I have had friends like this. They don't necessarily mean to at times, or at least i don't think they do...

    I like to cook (or at least used to) but always make too much. I'm single and live by myself, so i would invite a friend over and we'd cook. He would eat his fair share, but never bring anything over ever. That was brought to light in the form of me telling him, "well i'm supplying the meat, and the sides, can you bring something over too?" he was grumpy about it, but did in the end.

    Also had a former roommate that was getting further and further behind on rent. I'm 26 and he just turned 30 this year. He's in college (started late obviously) and was obsessed with finding a girlfriend. He was single as well, and couldn't deal with the fact, i think, of being alone at this age. He spent $50 on cologne, $30 on face cream, big bucks on the gel body soap (bars are *much* more economical), huge money on hair wax, soap, conditioner, clothes, etc. ....... But he couldn't pay rent or utilities on time. Oh and he drank at least three+ times a week... Needless to say i no longer have a roommate (although i also lost a friend in the process)

    these people exist, but when the time comes that they're annoying the heck out of you, you need to set firm limits... Honestly, you probably could phrase it a bit better, but the next time some of them ask for money, you could say, "you know i love helping people out, but i'm spending so much money on others that i don't have hardly enough for myself!"

    finally, and most importantly, if you ever give out >$500 always have in writing that they're going to pay you back in "x" amount of time, and make it very clear in the wording that the amount you're giving is a loan, and in no way a 'gift'. This makes people get a little more honest. You'd probably never take them to court over it, but since they signed a paper saying it'll happen, you officially have that hanging over their heads.

    If another friend is a notary, that helps, too.

    Finally, $20 here and there is something that shouldn't even be on your radar. If you go out to eat with them, "conveniently" forget your wallet and mention it on the way to the restaurant. That way you can say, "well would you mind picking it up." if they complain about it, you always have the option of saying, "well i mean i did give you the $20 before.... Not saying i'm going to spend that much, but we can call it even if i don't."

    finally, good luck - telling people "no" when you have it is hard to do.
    o nice guy that can cook=d and thats too bad u lost a friend over that.thats always hard
  15. Visit  NewTexasRN profile page
    3
    Do you know how to change your phone number? Cut them off permanently.
    tokidoki7, RPN_2012, and lkwashington like this.


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