Patients boyfriend gets naked - page 9

So I'm working noc shift on a surgical floor and I'm caring for a 19 year old woman who had had neck surgery the day before. Her boyfriend comes to the floor to visit around 4 am which I felt was a... Read More

  1. by   teeituptom
    Quote from lvn2bsoon
    Why would you chart this? Do you have to chart everything?? Do I chart my acciental needlestick in the resident's chart?
    I wouldn't chart it eitherm and if you did how descriptive would you be.
  2. by   teeituptom
    Quote from Mulan
    some people have no class

    everyone has class, just what kind is a different matter
  3. by   teeituptom
    Quote from sanctuary
    Nope, just checked. OP said that it was obvious that there had been something other than sleeping going on.
    OK, I'm old, and cranky, but NO ONE who needs to be hospitalized should be having sex. If they are that well, DC them and put a sick person in the bed.
    No one who needs to be hospitalized should be going out for a couple of beers with their friends (or alone). How am I to medicate on top of an unknown amt. of ETOH??
    Hospital= sick people. Sex, booze=home.
    Well what if they are hosptalized for an unreducable priapism

    As an example, not long ago a young female nurse came uout to me complaing some young guys had a large erection when she was in there giving meds. Being a guy I went to investigate and yes he had a large erection/priapism secondary to his Sickle Cell Atteck, really not uncommon. I swapped pts with the young nurse to calm her down, but I also explained how this also happens.
    Last edit by teeituptom on Mar 12, '07
  4. by   lorster
    Quote from Ophelia78
    I had a mental health client in her 40s whose father was not even allowed on the porch of the home she shared with 3 other ladies. I never knew the reason until she was hospitalized and I was chatting with the nurse on the inpatient psych unit. It seems that a couple years prior, when she had been hospitalized, her father went to visit her. They were in her room alone with the curtains drawn when a nurse walked in. My client was sitting on the bed with her shirt open and her father was fondling her! Ack! He was made to leave and Adult Protective Services was called. They were told nothing could be done because she was an adult. Absurd! I do not consider a decompensated, confused, schizophrenic woman to be capable of giving consent, especially for something as awful as that.

    Fastforward a few years later, when I am her caseworker. We notice an interesting pattern. My client, who was stable on meds and compliant with them was decompensating every 6-8 weeks. We found these episodes coincided with visits by her father (he would come pick her up, be gone a few hours, and she would end up in the hospital a few days later). She is unwilling or unable to discuss what is happening. Her mother is in denial. It eventually ended when he became too ill to bother her anymore.

    The system really let her down!
    This is totally sick. And it happens way more often than most of us realize. Just totally creeps me out. ICK
  5. by   BennyMambo
    My husband and I have been together for 18 years. We've always had a very active sex life. A year ago, my husband had a major stroke. He was in the hospital for 8 weeks. He had severe anxiety in the hospital due to not knowing if his sexual performance would be the same. He also had some cognitive problems due to the stroke. I never did engage in sex with him while he was in the hospital and when I think back on it, I wish I had. It would have greatly reduced his anxiety. We talked about it, but at the time he would become fixated on a problem and no amount of verbal reassurances would help. It breaks my heart now to think of the tears he shed because he no longer felt like the strong man he was before the stroke. I did everything except make love with him to reassure him. It didn't help. One night with the door closed and an understanding nurse would have made the world of difference for him.
  6. by   Nurseonwheels
    I agree that hospitals are a public place. I am sorry, but I do not wish to see this while at work. Keep your private business private and out of the hospitals.
  7. by   Nurseonwheels
    Quote from TweetiePieRN
    Just because the woman was shedding some tears after sex does not equal rape. You said she couldn't speak. How can you interpret what she is feeling?

    Maybe she is mourning because she can not fully participate in sex like she used to be able to. Maybe she is sad because she cannot even express to her husband how nice it feels to still have him love her like that. Maybe she misses her husband after he leaves. Sex gets me emotional sometimes, but it sure doesn't mean I was just raped.
    OMG, no way. If a patient cannot clearly express her wants and needs that that mean that we assume she wants sex. No way. Especially a stroke patient. I think sex will be the least of her worries. I would see at as rape, plane and simple.
  8. by   Nurseonwheels
    Quote from TweetiePieRN
    Just because the woman was shedding some tears after sex does not equal rape. You said she couldn't speak. How can you interpret what she is feeling?

    Maybe she is mourning because she can not fully participate in sex like she used to be able to. Maybe she is sad because she cannot even express to her husband how nice it feels to still have him love her like that. Maybe she misses her husband after he leaves. Sex gets me emotional sometimes, but it sure doesn't mean I was just raped.
    OMG, no way. If a patient cannot clearly express her wants and needs does that mean that we assume she wants sex. No way. Especially a stroke patient. I think sex will be the least of her worries. He obviously cares more about himself and his needs then her own. I would see at as rape, plane and simple.
  9. by   Nurseonwheels
    Quote from imenid37
    I am sorry. If you find sex to be necessary for healing, that's fine. Do it as soon as you go home. I don't get paid enough to make rounds and walk in on people having sex. (Yes, I do knock on the door ALWAYS). It isn't an appropriate place. I may want sex while stuck in a traffic jam. Does that mean I can stop right there and proceed as I wish? NO, it isn't the aprropriate place. As far as barricading the door after you get out of ICU, if you were sick enough to be in ICU and needed to be in the hospital after you are out of the unit, then you shouldn't barricade the door. You might have a problem and the nurse shouldn't walk in on you having sex if you do. If you have sex somewhere private it is totally your business. If you go to an orgy and have sex in fron of other people, they are at a gathering where they obviously don't mind sex in a non-private setting. as a nurse, I don't want to see or listen to someone else having sex not at the mall, in the grocery store, or at the hoispital. That's my right as a nurse. I also don't get paid to look at naked visitors.

    What if you find a fresh MI patient having sex and you give him/her their privay and they arrest? Should you tell them not to do it to begin with? Are you more liable if you don't respect a person's privacy or if you act to protect their health in this case? What if your 16 year old pt. is having sex w/ a 30 year old man is that okay if she's already had a baby and is an emancipated minor? Would it be okay w/ another 16 year old? We are responsible for enough stuff. If they are in acute care they can wait to eat greasy Mc D's food not on their diet, smoke, have sex, have 20 visitors cough all over their baby, or do whatever else no one no one on the nursing staff needs to see or regulate. "Mr. Jones can I bring your antibiotic at 10:00 a.m. when it is due or will you be intimately interacting w/ your mistress Ms. Bimbo then?" Forget it! What if you walk in on group sex. OMG, I have enough issues w/ visitors now! Long-term care where the patient lives in the facility is a different story. Then I think the patient may need some alone time w/ a spouse or partner. I am so sick of having to put up w/ whatever patients and visitors want. Some of these wants just need to wait until they are out of the acute setting. We can't accomodate every wish and we shouldn't have to.
    Bravo ..... well put. I agree. Hospitals are for sick people and if sex is on your mind then get out and come back when you're ready to talk health. Sex is just one of the human needs, one we can put on hold without causing physical demage. Giving someone privacy may later translate into neglect. I am not ready to take that risk. Not on my shift, thank you.
    Last edit by Nurseonwheels on Mar 12, '07 : Reason: word missing
  10. by   Alpha13
    I'm not looking for anyone's opinion's on whether they think it's right or wrong, but what are usually the rules and regulations regarding patients having sex? In my CNA class the instructor said to provide privacy if we ever walk in on a patient masturbating. I just assumed the same would apply to sex but maybe I'm wrong.
  11. by   ElvishDNP
    On the OP's topic, this is my personal opinion.

    I work on a postpartum/antepartum floor, and we HAVE found people having sex both ante- and postpartum. I tell my high-risk antepartum pts that there is a reason they are in the hospital. Sex (or orgasm or any sort of pelvic anything) can stir junk up in there and they might very well end up with a premature baby sooner rather than later. I tell my postpartum moms -- and try to make it at a time when SO will hear too -- that if they've just had a baby, stuff needs time to heal back up and get back into place. Sometimes that doesn't take the full 6 weeks that MDs orders state, but the prudent thing is to get checked to make sure everything's healed right before having sex.

    To both groups I say that just because you can't (rather shouldn't) have sex right now doesn't mean you can't find other ways of loving each other. Especially if a high-risk antepartum is hospitalized early & we know she'll be there a long time, I tell them I have no problem with them sharing the bed, small & uncomfy though it may be. I don't care how much or how little clothing they want to wear. I have seen it all and most of it looks the same. No sex doesn't equal no expressions of love, or even passion. Kissing & caressing? Wonderful. I'd rather have that than a pregnant mom with no babydaddy in the picture.

    I personally don't see how anyone would be interested in sex just after having a baby, what with blood, a sore bottom, not to mention fatigue. But in that case I am not anyone's babysitter. You know the risks, and I have explained the rationale behind what I say.

    In all cases, I am talking about consenting adults. Nonconsensual anything is wrong and is another story altogether.
  12. by   Liddle Noodnik
    i just want to mention (since i haven't thus far) - that i am not "pro-sex" in the hospital setting - but i am concerned that our wishes and feelings not enter into the equation here! i don't like seeing a lot of things while i'm working - i don't like a lot of things that happen simply because the patient has a right (ie ama, or refusing care, and the like).

    the following post kind of sums it up, because this was my understanding also:

    Quote from alpha13
    i'm not looking for anyone's opinion's on whether they think it's right or wrong, but what are usually the rules and regulations regarding patients having sex? in my cna class the instructor said to provide privacy if we ever walk in on a patient masturbating. i just assumed the same would apply to sex but maybe i'm wrong.
    i was taught that also - provide privacy. and that was back in the days when we were prudes (lol).

    i do wish i could know the rules, regulations, and rights. what we want should have nothing to do with what has already been decided.

    i have tried to find the answers to your question online, alpha, but haven't had any luck. can anyone else find out, maybe in a nursing textbook? (ie ethics, sexuality, pt. rights, basic nursing care, etc...)
  13. by   Spidey's mom
    Quote from EmerNurse

    And I agree with many others - if you're well enough to have sex in an acute hospital, you're not acute enough to be there - go do it at home. As for long term care, as others have pointed out, depends on consent capability etc and other issues.
    Exactly - :yeahthat:

    I think people are mixing up acute care stays and LTC.

    We discharge COPD patients who want to go out to smoke. If they are well enough to walk outside and smoke, they can go home.

    If you are well enough for sex, I'll get your discharge papers for ya.

    steph
    Last edit by Spidey's mom on Mar 12, '07

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