Patients boyfriend gets naked - page 3

So I'm working noc shift on a surgical floor and I'm caring for a 19 year old woman who had had neck surgery the day before. Her boyfriend comes to the floor to visit around 4 am which I felt was a... Read More

  1. by   HeartsOpenWide
    Unless he was hurting your pt in some way by being in bed with her (she just had neck surgery?) I find nothing wrong with this. People think that just because some one is in the hospital they have to conform to strange rules. They could be doing hanky panky for all I care. Unless there is a kid in the room or I am trying to do pt care I do not find this situation to be a problem. Maybe its just my Holistic learning...Sex is a good stress releif...
    People also freak out when they find out their patient has gone out side to have a few beers with some friends. Its a hospital, not prision.
    Last edit by HeartsOpenWide on Mar 3, '07
  2. by   Atl_John
    Isn't there the whole orgasm releases endorphins and enkaliphans (sp?) which are some of the most potent pain relieving substances around. Isn't pain the 5th or 6th vital sign etc? They are paying $10,000 a day to be in a hospital room, we have no right to barge in on them while they are in their room. We should be knocking first, if they say one minute or go away, then we should. I hate to sound gross but even when i'm feeling bad I still like to get a little here and there. Obviously excruciating pain, no but I can remember having broken (snapped actually) ribs and still getting it on didn't mean I wasn't hurt or in pain, but getting some 'attention" sure did help take my mind off of the pain in my side.
  3. by   caroladybelle
    Quote from kellykul
    You're kidding, right? I fail to see this. Now we are talking about patients so I will just assume these are people in the hospital and not LTC. You don't have well people in the hospital anymore. I have never heard of someone dying before they got home because they couldn't have sex while in the hospital.

    I agree this shouldn't be done in the hospital. If the patients expect the healthcare providers to be respectful to them they should have the decency to be respectful to them.
    Part of respecting patients is respecting their privacy.

    Many of my usual patients (leukemia) come in relatively healthy, are hit with a scary diagnosis and then treated with drugs that will make them acutely ill and bring them precariously close to death. They will see patients in the rooms around them crump and die, people that they may have spoken to or walked with mere days before. Induction will often take 4-7 weeks in the hospital, much of it in protective isolation.

    Those that survive induction, will still have a long road ahead of them. And lots of rules about what they cannot and cannot do.

    If they can find some form of gratifying "intimate" contact they makes this burden easier to bear, comforts them and their SO, relieves stress and allows them affection, around all the restrictions we have to place on them,,,,

    MORE POWER TO THEM!!!!!

    I deal. They know when vital signs are and when meds are due. They know the medical limitations/risk (birth control, condoms, pancytopenic issues). And they know that I will knock and give them several minutes, and what time period that we will leave the room "alone".

    They also know to respect the staff by not abusing this, and handling it discreetly.

    What they do discreetly is their business.
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    I DO think that sometimes we harm the pt psychosocially when we prevent them from gaining comfort from their SO in this manner.

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    Please understand that I am not advocating random sex running wild in semiprivate rooms by people that are only hospitalized for 2-4 days, or where sex would be definitely contraindicated. Or that the nurse accept walking in on an orgy.

    But there are times when it should be acceptable. We have had honeymooners on the BMT wards. When the pt later died, I felt much better that they had fulfilled that part of their life and that we facilitated this.

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    On the other hand, we had some teenagers that barricaded the door to the Family lounge and were going at it - while the family member of one was dying. THAT I have a serious problem with.
  4. by   CHATSDALE
    old saying there is a time and place for everything

    i knock on a door but i don't wait outside for several minutes..this would really be time consuming if you have 6-7 patients if they don't want to be walked in on they should wait until they went home
    i never told them to stop ort even commented on their activity but i did what i needed to do and left
  5. by   Cattitude
    all the situations i have seen have been in semi private rooms. and for short term acute stays. it can just wait until they're discharged home.


    [color=#483d8b]don't we always say it's a hospital and not a hotel?
    Last edit by Cattitude on Mar 3, '07
  6. by   Tweety
    I walked in on a man giving his female companion oral sex. I immediately walked out and gave them time. It was frustrating because this man beat her up enough to put her in the hospital. She was fine with it, so I didn't bother.

    I walked in on a young patient who asked me for a klenix. Wiped himself up, and asked for the garbage can (broken legs). No shame. Another guy "my sperm (not the word he used) just came out real hot, does that mean anything?".

    What can you do? Humans will be humans.

    I have to agree, that there's a time and a place for everything and public property hospital rooms, ER's, etc. are not the place. People should be able to show a little restraint. But for long-term patients, I can understand the need and don't judge.
  7. by   PMFB-RN
    Quote from Tweety
    I walked in on a man giving his female companion oral sex. I immediately walked out and gave them time. It was frustrating because this man beat her up enough to put her in the hospital. She was fine with it, so I didn't bother.

    I walked in on a young patient who asked me for a klenix. Wiped himself up, and asked for the garbage can (broken legs). No shame. Another guy "my sperm (not the word he used) just came out real hot, does that mean anything?".

    What can you do? Humans will be humans.

    I have to agree, that there's a time and a place for everything and public property hospital rooms, ER's, etc. are not the place. People should be able to show a little restraint. But for long-term patients, I can understand the need and don't judge.
    *** Well said, I agree 100%. I didn't mention the times I have known a (mostly young) male patients to masturbate as I pretty much consider it a body function.
    Adults should be able to show some restraint when not in appropriate environments. Long term patients should be allowed to express their natural sex drive in an appropriate manner. Isn't there a nursing diagnosis for this? I seem to remember a couple. Maybe we should include such expressions in our care plans to avoid embarrassment for all parties.
  8. by   control
    I have had patients in halos masturbate in a physical rehab facility, but I have never walked in on anyone having sex.

    If I did, I'd probably walk right back out. I can understand people in long term care facilities doing it.

    On another note, patients drinking and then coming back drunk can be a liability for the facility.

    Several of the patients in that physical rehab used to have alcohol and marijuana on the premises; of course this was all supposed to be hush-hush but it wasn't.
  9. by   LittleLisaLawrence
    Quote from HeartsOpenWide
    Unless he was hurting your pt in some way by being in bed with her (she just had neck surgery?) I find nothing wrong with this. People think that just because some one is in the hospital they have to conform to strange rules. They could be doing hanky panky for all I care. Unless there is a kid in the room or I am trying to do pt care I do not find this situation to be a problem. Maybe its just my Holistic learning...Sex is a good stress releif...
    People also freak out when they find out their patient has gone out side to have a few beers with some friends. Its a hospital, not prision.
    I agree!
  10. by   CRNI-ICU20
    Nothing says romance like a foley at one end and an NG tube at the other!
  11. by   chickenlegs999
    I once drew curtains for a "Dr" to examine patient and told him if there was anything he needed to just call.He was the ladies boyfriend-How accomodating was I ? When I realised I went in and demanded he leave in my best "matron" voice...but laughed afterwards!
  12. by   Roy Fokker
    Nope.

    Never walked in on someone having sex .... yet! :roll
  13. by   lorster
    This patient had just had a very large abscess/mass removed from her thyroid area. She was there to get the last of her dexamethasone and antibiotics. Just before the boyfriend arrived, I found her standing in her room crying and saying " I want my mommy". I found it quite strange. She went home that morning. I do not feel that she was 'in the mood'. He took advantage. I dont believe she was the one orgasming. I think he just couldn't wait a day. I also agree that there is a time and place for everything and yes, people are very sick when they are in but in LTC, I feel it is appropriate for a spouse/SO to come in and privacy should be given. As long as both parties consent. I just do not feel that someone who is in for one or two days, has a huge incision and a JP dangling from their throat should be doing that.

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