Paralyzed by emotion when children are the patient?

jennshort28 · Jan 30, 2009

Nursing is one of those fields that you have to find your niche. If ER is your thing, you will have to find a way to work with the children. I have heard from many nurses that taking care of children scares them, or they do not like it. I personally loved it. Pediatric nursing was my place in the world. I am a person that would not want to do ER and doesn't have the passion for that type of nursing. It's human to have emotions, but you need to keep them in check. I think if nothing affects you, than you've lost a part of yourself....on the other hand, if everything does, you are too emotionally involved. Try to think of them as little adults if that helps. The big thing to remember is that they can go bad really quick, but can also bounce back just as quick. Good luck with your journey!

back2bRN · Jan 30, 2009

Sometimes you need to keep telling yourself that it is an important procedure that is being performed. You are the professional and have to" keep your head when all those around you are losing theirs". A little introspection may not be a bad thing too, why is it so difficult for you? What is really going on? As far as working in a different part of nursing, if you are unable to function when taking care of a child, you may have to consider it. But really this is the best time for you to face, acknowledge and hopefully conquer your fear. I don't enjoy the sick kids, hence not a peds nurse, but I do take care of them and do what needs to be done. They bounce back so quickly it is very rewarding, that little one who didn't fight at all with the IV start begins to complain and order popscicles, it warms my heart. Good Luck with your journey.

Whispera, MSN, RN · Jan 30, 2009

I can identify. When I was in nursing school it hurt to hear the little ones cry and if I was causing pain it hurt even more. One day I needed to give an injection to a 2 year old. I just couldn't. I went to talk to my instructor and told her what was going on. She said to me, "it's a fine time to figure that out NOW!" She didn't mean any harm by that remark, but just wanted to kick me in the butt. I went back in and gave the injection, and from then on sucked up my emotions and did what was best for the patients.

That doesn't mean it will be easy. You have feelings and don't want to cause or see hurt. That's GOOD. It means you're a caring person! Just remember you have to do what you have to do, and it IS in the best interest of the patient!

mlrios2003 · Jan 30, 2009

This is funny that I ran across this today. I have had a major headache for the past 24 hours- ever since I had to give an 18mo old 2 shots, one in each leg yesterday. I don't know how to make it easier- I just had to tell myself that the medicine was going to make the baby better. But, I am still suffering from the stress of doing this yesterday:cry:

Snoglobe · Jan 30, 2009

I think taking care of little ones was the hardest and scariest part of the ER for me. I always felt they hurt more than the adults- I know that is not reasonable, but they just seem so helpless. The way I handled the problem was to focus on the task and what needed to be done. Just distance yourself a bit when you feel yourself freezing and run through the steps of the task at hand and that may help.

BrnEyedGirl, BSN, MSN, RN, APRN · Jan 30, 2009

Perhaps you should look at it from an ER nurse view,...yes it's painful to watch a child cry,..yes it sucks to have to cause physical harm in order to help them, yes it sucks that they are too young to understand,...but what if there was no one to do this? How much harder would it be to know you allowed a child to die? Kids are never easy and it breaks my heart to see an injured or ill child,..but when I've helped ease the pain, made the breathing easier or stopped the bleeding and Mom cries and says" thank you for saving my baby",..that feeling waaaayyy out weighs any bad feelings I had.

gonzo1, ASN, RN · Jan 30, 2009

What RN Cardiac said is so true. And if you want to be an ER nurse then get really good at what you do so you can give your very best to the children. The best shots, the best wound care, the best IV starts, etc.

If you do a little research you will see that children scare most health care workers. I have been in ER for 5 years now and even the doctors admit to being scared of taking care of them. The number 1 reason for that is we don't get enough, and don't get enough practice. Of course, that is sort of a good thing.

I almost didn't go to ER because I was afraid of the kids. Now they are my favorite. (parents often suck)

Just think, with kids smaller barf, smaller poops, no 600 pound patients to lift. No games to play because they haven't learned any yet. No drunks, fewer psyches and no drug seeking. I love kids.

After i realized the benefits of kids I told all my fellow nurses to give me all their kid patients. I practiced, I got pretty good. Kids are sweet and it is so rewarding to see them feel better.

If you let kids stop you from going to the ER then you have made a big mistake.

**canoehead, BSN, RN** · Jan 30, 2009

Crying kids are healthy kids with a reserve. Those aren't the ones to be frightened over, but I can understand how it can tug at your heartstrings. When they cry you know what a great sign that is for the child that they will be healthy and active again, remember that.

Also ER attracts people from a lot of different backgrounds. Know your coworkers, and who has a pediatric background, who likes kids. Especially who can get an IV in a veinless rock. You can trade off without much fuss, and probably make it a compliment "You are so good with kids, and they make me want to cry." Then offer to help them with their next homeless drunk. Don't stop trying to get comfortable with kids, but there's no shame in asking for help when you need it.

Purple_Scrubs, BSN, RN · Jan 30, 2009

I agree with Canoehead. As a school nurse, it is not the ones who are crying that bother me, it is the ones who are silent. Much scarier!

Cobweb · Jan 30, 2009

Many moons ago I was a big, bad CNA who enrolled in nursing school. My classmate had a patient who died and she was terrified to go to the morgue. Being all female macho (I'd been a CNA for over a whole year! I knew it all! Scared of nuthin'!) I offered to take the gurney down for her, and my teacher went with me.

We performed that task easily, but when we went out the other door, the guy there had a baby on his slab. He was flopping the poor dead baby around like a chicken he was gonna joint (my teacher explained to me later he was showing out for the two cops standing there). I was horrified. I sucked it up because I desperately did not want to embarrass my teacher, who was my idol.

After we got through the door, I started crying, and I said, "I guess I'll have to get used to that." My teacher said, "You should never get used to that, and if you do, you are in the wrong business."

I'd say it's OK if you worry about taking care of them right. If you don't worry, you are in the wrong business.

queenjean · Jan 30, 2009

I used to work peds and nursery, and here are my two thoughts that helped me with this.

One, this child needs taken care of. If I can't pull it together and take care of this child, the child won't get good care. I'm doing a huge disservice to him/her by allowing my heartstrings to somehow control my entire being.

Two, if this were my baby sick and screaming in the ER or the ped unit, who would I want to take care of her? A nurse who isn't bothered by a crying baby, or one who *is*, who is sympathetic, who really feels for my baby, and cares that she hurts?

It's okay to care and even to shed a tear, but it's not okay *for the pt* to let those things get in the way of taking care of the wee ones.

If you can't get past it, maybe the ER really isn't the place for you. I suspect, though, you will find it is more difficult to NOT take care of these babies than it is to take care of them. When I float down to the ER, I would rather take the babies and kids. At least, if I'm taking care of them, I know that I'm taking care of everything I possibly can. If I'm *not* taking care of them and I can hear them cry, I'm wondering "Did the nurse offer a popcicle? Did she explain everything in simple, basic terms before hand? Did she give her an extra bandaid for her babydoll?"

Once you take care of a couple of kids, you might find it isn't nearly so traumatic for you as it is right now, when you are still learning.