Panic attacks following never event.

[Iamgroot29]

I really need help. I am a nurse working in an intensive care unit with 9years nursing experience and approximately four months ago I was involved in a never event at work.

Since this I have done all the required reading, learning etc and had a couple of debriefs with management and everything seemed to be going fine. Yes I had lost my confidence but I was slowly starting to claw it back inch by inch by working hard and throwing myself into my studying.

Now however, things are not going so well again. I was on a study day where the event was discussed between colleagues (no names were mentioned) and my colleagues had some not very supportive things to say. This has made me paranoid that people know it was me and I am panicky at work and dont trust myself to do anything anymore as dont trust my judgement. I am also finding it hard to trust others as this never event included other people giving bad advice (unintentionally).

I am struggling with my work load, with my colleagues and with emergency situations that previously I would of been able to cope with. I am finding it difficult to sleep and keep waking up, having had nightmares about this situation.

I find it very difficult to work with the consultant that investigated the event and I recently had to spend the day on an out of hospital transfer with the doctor who was involved with the event and I desperately wanted to talk to him about it but couldnt bring it up (obviously this was once the patient had been transferred and we were alone in the back of the ambulance).

Any help at this point would be invaluable. I have a meeting with my manager in the next week and I dont want to blurt this all out to her as hate being seen as weak and not coping.

Sorry it has been such a long post. Please help me.

[Emergent, RN]

(((Hugs)))

Maybe it's time to transfer to a different specialty? You sound like you have PTSD a bit.

I'm glad you're proactive in getting help. If I were in your shoes I'd definitely think seriously about getting into a different setting.

[roser13, ASN, RN]

I don't know what a never event is, but it's apparent that it was very traumatic for you. Do you have an EAP at your hospital? I know that some folks will tell you not to trust your EAP to maintain your privacy, but I had a very effective, helpful experience with one. Speaking with someone who is familiar with the hospital environment was priceless to me and it helped motivate me to take further steps outside of work to deal with my issue.

Good luck to you.

[Emergent, RN]

I don't know what a never event is, but it's apparent that it was very traumatic for you. Do you have an EAP at your hospital? I know that some folks will tell you not to trust your EAP to maintain your privacy, but I had a very effective, helpful experience with one. Speaking with someone who is familiar with the hospital environment was priceless to me and it helped motivate me to take further steps outside of work to deal with my issue.

Good luck to you.

Never events - Wikipedia

[Iamgroot29]

A never event is when theres been a serious incident that was deemed as something that should never of happened. I only moved to intensive care a couple of years ago and have started my degree in acute and critical care and I love the work I do when its going well.

I have a feeling that my manager is going to refer me to occupational health. Leaving work is not an option. I'm too stubborn to give in and leave.

[applesxoranges, BSN, RN]

I would recommend seeking professional help for mental health even if it is your pcp. Did they ever do a debriefing with you? It is sometimes beneficial if they do a professional debriefing with people if it was a stressful event.

[KatieMI, BSN, MSN, RN]

If things came to the point of interfering with your basic physiologic functions (sleep, nutrition, rest), then it is the time for medical help. Up to and including sick leave, if necessary. EAD can be good, but probably won't be good enough in such case. Plus, they are not as anonimous as they like to position themselves.

While you may do all education required by your employer, the most important part is what would you learn for yourself and on your own. This includes knowledge of whom you can trust at work and whom you just can't. Not all health care professionals are good clinicians, this is just a fact of life (that's why I always do my own vitals:) ) So, one thing you now know for sure is who of your colleagues can be trusted as clinician, and that's good knowledge.

Hugs for you... so many of us went through this.

[nrsang97, BSN, RN]

I agree with Roser. I used employee assistance during some personal issues. They were helpful and understanding. I went on my own and was not sent by management. I felt like she understood the hospital environment better than others may have.

Seeing even a private therapist would be a suggestion I have for you. Even starting out with employee assistance and then going to a private therapist is also an option. Sometimes they can recommend someone that understands the hospital stressors.

[HouTx, BSN, MSN, EdD]

This is exactly why my organization automatically provides Critical Incident Stress Debriefing for staff involved in any sort of unexpected events. Cumulative PTSD is a thing... it affects health care providers, especially those of us who work in high-intensity areas. Please don't be afraid to seek qualified help. Your colleagues who are so proud of their stoicism may actually be suffering the effects of PTSD/burnout.

If you don't care for yourself, you wont be able to care for others. ((((((((HUGS))))))))

[RNKPCE]

I am sorry you are going through this. I second Employee Assistance Program (EAP). I've read some other stuff about "second victims". The effect a" never event" or the like has on the healthcare provider.

[traumaRUs, MSN, APRN]

Agree with other posters: lots of sympathy for what you are going thru. I went thru a similar experience and found counseling with another healthcare provider to be extremely helpful. Critical Incident Stress Debriefing is extremely important also and should be utilized to the fullest as should your employer assistance program.

I can say that as time passes, the memory dims, it does not fade nor does it ever go away but it dims to where the thoughts are manageable.

Again - I'm very sorry you are going thru this - only you can decide if you want to stay on this unit. It is a tough decision to make and no one would think any less of you if you chose to transfer to something else for awhile, then come back to critical care once again.

Best wishes with whatever decision you make - please let us know....

[Iamgroot29]

thank you so much for all your comments. I've got a lot to think about...