Over the weekend.... - page 2

I really don't even know how to word this question, so I will apologize in advance if I misword what I am trying to say. I work at a hospital and encountered something over the weekend with one of... Read More

  1. by   shyviolet78
    If I were a patient, I'd prefer a homosexual male nurse with makeup over a heterosexual female nurse with long artificial nails or heavy perfume. What is he doing to make his patients uncomfortable? Is it anything that crosses the line such as trying to make sexual advances on the patient? Or discussing his own sexual antics with the patient? This is inappropriate regardless of gender or sexual orientation. I have seen elderly white patients (usually female) make a big fuss about having an African-American nurse or aide take care of them, especially when it comes to things like bathing. Seems like the same type of situation to me.
  2. by   wildhoney
    It's called being considerate of other people's feelings.

    People/Pt's can be offended if you wear too much make-up. People/Pt's may be allergic and not appreciate your expensive perfume as much as you do. The same should apply to all those who work in an office full of people. It's about being professional. Besides who "needs" to wear a ton of make-up while working. It's not a night club for crying out loud.

    Have things changed so drastically over there years that people can't seem to understand this? It's not a sexual orientation issue, it's not about discrimination..it's about-- I DON'T WANT TO CHOKE ON YOUR SMELL WHILE YOU'RE TREATING ME, NOR DO I WANT TO BE CONSTANTLY FOCUSING ON YOUR MAKE-UP WHILE YOU'RE ASKING ME WHAT MY CHIEF COMPLAINT IS! MAN OR WOMAN!

    And why do people always have to turn it into gay rights issue?
    If you're a man and you want to wear make-up-- do me a favor, save some money and get that sex change...then you can wear all the make-up you want and we won't think it strange...just make up your mind then make-up your face.

    IMO, it's about good taste and common sense.
  3. by   hapeewendy
    wildhoney while I agree with what youre saying
    I dont believe that this has turned into a gay rights issue thing, My point is that the original poster brought attention to the nurses apparent sexual orientation and mentioned nothing about the offensive thing that straight people or female nurses do on the job that could offend ppl and patients.


    and as for your comment about people saving money for a sex change I would like to kindly point out that gender dysphoria and being gay are not always the same situation. People who are considering a change of sex must live in the role of the opposite gender for a year, which yes includes makeup so please think or research a topic before you speak on it .


    my problem here is that I find many nurses are narrowminded and unaccepting of various lifestyles etc, I have heard nurses comment on a gay HIV infected male, that he got aids because he was gay and how according to the bible god made adam and eve not adam and steve, which is fine if thats your opinion, but keep your narrowminded holier than thou views out of the workplace

    I would rather work with a guy who wears a touch of make up then some bible thumper who prejudges gay people based on their lifestyle

    the God I believe in is non judgemental and loves everyone

    I'm not turning this into a gay rights or religious arguement, I am just trying to open some eyes to the fact that underneath that makeup,that nurse is probably going through a whole plethora of issues that we clearly dont understand

    or maybe he is just as vain as us females and wants to cover up his poor complexion
  4. by   wildhoney
    That is your opinion. I do not prefer to research the subject...that should be left for the person considering the sex change to do. I'm not going to walk on egg shells or change because they want to. Wouldn't you agree? I don't have to conform to anyone's ways or wishes, all I need to do is be accepting, respectful, and supportive of them. I have my own opinions and regardless of what you may think... I'm entitled to have them.

    If they have to live that way for a year-- that's their thing, not mine....or uh your thing, not mine. Sorry it's so hard but we all have it tough in life.

    And freedom of speech allows me the freedom to voice my opinion without thoroughly researching a subject. Isn't that grand? Do you thoroughly research all subjects before you speak/type? Do you practice what you preach? Why don't you do a little research on that?

    Edited to say: the "Bible thumper's" are also entitled to "thump." They're not bad people because they like to "thump" either. AND who are you to call those people narrow minded? Just because they don't think like you?
    Last edit by wildhoney on Mar 26, '02
  5. by   Q.
    HappeeWendy:

    I agree with what you are saying here, but, whether this guy is having issues or not, they should be reserved for his private home. "Expressing oneself" is not something that should be done on the job, in a professional environment, and at a profession that deals with other people.
    I agree, some females look ridiculous as well, and I think that is just as sad.

    This reminds me of an instance that a friend was telling me about. She was working with a CNA who was black and about 40 years old. The CNA was taking care of a 80 year old white woman who was a GYN surgical who was overflow from the med/surg unit to OB. The CNA helped the woman to the bathroom and such, and the 80 year old replied, in the nicest way possible, "You're such a nice ******." And the CNA replied by doing a curtsey and stating, in a southern drawl, "thank ya Mame." We thought that was the best thing to say, recognizing that this 80 year old was brought up with the notion that this term was acceptable.

    I know it has nothing to do with anything - but it was funny.
  6. by   shay
    Originally posted by wildhoney
    Edited to say: the "Bible thumper's" are also entitled to "thump." They're not bad people because they like to "thump" either. AND who are you to call those people narrow minded? Just because they don't think like you?
    Hooaah!! You go, girl!!!

    Exactly. It's only when you disagree with a POLITICALLY CORRECT idea that you're "narrow-minded." Didn't you read the political correctness in America manual? LOL!

    I don't care how 'confused' this guy is or how his makeup wearing is supposed to be okay because he's a homosexual and heaven knows we can't EVER say anything BAD about a homosexual without being a homophobe RIGHT?

    Look, slutty dress and makeup on women, nose rings, eyebrow piercings, purple hair, daggar nails that curl at the tip, wearing purple heart covered underwear underneath white pants, MEN WEARING MAKEUP and lots and lots of other stuff SIMPLY ISN'T APPROPRIATE AT WORK, NO MATTER WHAT YOUR SEXUAL ORIENTATION OR GENDER...PERIOD.

    I even attended one of my close male gay friends' commitment cerimonies....I am by no stretch a homophobe...but you bet your butt I'd tell him to his face I thought it was inappropriate to wear makeup to work, unless he worked in the theatre.

    Being 'open minded' doesn't mean it's okay to shove your ideals and beliefs down the throats of everyone around you at work. Freedom of speech does, but it doesn't give you the right to not be fired or reprimanded for doing so.
    Last edit by shay on Mar 26, '02
  7. by   wildhoney
    Originally posted by shay

    I don't care how 'confused' this guy is or how his makeup wearing is supposed to be okay because he's a homosexual and heaven knows we can't EVER say anything BAD about a homosexual without being a homophobe RIGHT?

    Exactly my point-- only you said it better. Only now I think some of us may be labelled as ignorant, if not homophobe. Oh well, I've been called worse.

    I really could care less about race, creed or color..or whatever. I don't view people that way. The single most important factor to me is (not trying to make myself sound better than anyone else) if they're nice to me or not. That's pretty much how I lump people into two distinctive camps...nice and not nice.
  8. by   mario_ragucci
    The military has a "don't ask - don't tell" policy.
    Whats wrong with "don't show - don't bring up" for a hospital?

    Thumping bibles ain't cool, except in a church. Wearing super-power makeup and perfume ain't cool in a hospital.

    Whats cool in a hospital is that your heart is in your work. Your work is providing the best care for people who are there to receive help. Some might say what I look like, or what I say, at work has nothing to do with where my heart is. I don't think thats true. Really. Off time is absolute freedom, but at work, in a hospital, we must have some common thread. I understand that if you get in trouble while off work it can effect your nursing job. We represent something that obviously has standards.

    Dont show your fetishes - don't talk about your fetishes - at work.
    Another "off the cuff" reply by Mario (the bully) :-)
  9. by   kids
    I have never attempted to conceal the fact that I am and have been highly ambiguous in my preferances and orientation. My husband and my family accept me as I am.

    My personal circle of friends is approximately 50:50 gay/lesbian and straight. The only concession I have ever had to make is the 'toning down' of my bisexual habits with some of my straight friends, both male and female as it makes them uncomfortable. This is someting I have chosen to do as I value these friendships.

    I have known or currently know several openly gay and lesbian people who hold in high profile professioal positions in my community, a medium sized city in Washington State. I am talking teachers, Nurses, Doctors, lawyers. Most of the men in this group would never consider wearing make up in their professional setting dispite the fact it is a part of their attire during their off time. The reason being (and yes this has been a topic of converastion) that it is not appropriate in the portion of society they serve on a professional basis.

    Yes, society needs to lighten up a little bit, learn some tolerance and acceptance, sadly one of the facts is that society as a whole is deteriorating, values are changing and not all for the best.

    As Nurses it is our responsability to educate patients on THEIR lifestyle choices and how it effects their health and well being. It is NOT appropriate for a Nurse to educate the patient on the Nurses' lifestyle choices.

    -nancy
  10. by   kids
    Originally posted by hapeewendy
    ...People who are considering a change of sex must live in the role of the opposite gender for a year, which yes includes makeup so please think or research a topic before you speak on it ...
    (edited down for length and specific-ness)

    I believe I can comment on this subject as I am friends with 3 people both male and female who are in various stages of the proceedure...

    The KEY word here is LIVE the role...this does not fall in the context of the person who is the topic of the original post. Living the role includes clothing, hair styles, makeup and using the restroom they are 'dressed for'. Often this phase includes the use of hormones to develope the wanted or supress the unwanted gender atributes (hair growth, breast developement)People in the 'living' portion of the proceedure dont pick and choose the parts of the new genders lifestyle they want.
  11. by   mario_ragucci
    Bisexual tendencies: Didn't Masters and Johnson all ready show that most humans are bisexual, to some small or large degree, and only 10% are totally hetero and 10% totally homo, with 80% falling somewhere in the middle. Right?
  12. by   hapeewendy
    wildhoney and others
    you were expressing your opinions as i was expressing mine

    i did not call any of you homophobes or bible thumpers I was relating a story about my own workplace

    I did not msg you with such hostility
    so I dont expect it in return

    I didnt say one opinion was better than the other did i?
    no

    and as far as the whole researching thing goes
    I was merely trying to point out that if you are talking about a subject intelligently then you should research it, that goes for everyone, if however you are speakin purely based on opinion
    thats different, obviously youre not gonna go research and find out what is the best opinion to have right?
    we all have em
    I respected yours and disagreed with it respectfully and I feel the same consideration has not been extended to me

    I did not comment on ANY Of you personally
    if you read my post you will see me recounting issues I have come across in my own personal and professional life.

    I will no longer post / respond if this is going to turn personal

    I dont bring my emotions to this board in a negative way, I wish others wouldnt either

    the term agree to disagree is one that I value
    no one will agree wtih everyone else all the time
  13. by   hapeewendy
    one more thing, to quote you shay

    Being 'open minded' doesn't mean it's okay to shove your ideals and beliefs down the throats of everyone around you at work. Freedom of speech does, but it doesn't give you the right to not be fired or reprimanded for doing so.

    I dont shove my opinions or beliefs down anyones throat or other orafice for that matter, but your theory of ideas being shoved etc etc needs to apply to everyone, no one should be allowed to impose their morals beliefs on anyone else, regardless of if they are considered openminded, narrowminded, religious, non religious, homophobic, whatever, thats not the point
    the point here is that if you are going to condemn a male for wearing makeup you need to come down on any professionals that do not uphold the professional image that nursing is supposed to uphold (whatever that is exactly, who knows, diff ppl different ideas)

    we cant apply the rules to some and not all.
    I believe most of us are in unions that protect us from that sort of thing right?

    and wildhoney - to quote you :

    If they have to live that way for a year-- that's their thing, not mine....or uh your thing, not mine. Sorry it's so hard but we all have it tough in life.

    yes we all do have it tough in life, and just becasue I support and defend gay/gender dysphoric people does not mean I am one. so your "or uh your thing" comment was not really necessary.

    and i was calling those "bible thumping" nurses narrowminded because they vocalized, at work no less, that a homosexual patient deserved AIDS because he was gay.....whatever your beliefs are
    that is narrowminded and not appropriate to voice in the workplace

    the knife cuts both ways....

    wildhoney - I didnt mean any offence by what I was typing, they were responses and my opinion free of any emotion or hostility to other posters

    your post in response to mine was not the same
    and from this point on I wont be responding to you if youre going to take personal pot shots at me.
    my intention is never to offend, If I did I apologize for that, I really dont need your bits of sarcasm thrown in for dramatic effect.
    we are professionals, I respect you as a fellow nurse/medical professional thats it, we dont need to be friends, we dont need to agree, thats not why I come here....

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