Out With It - page 6

by wish_me_luck

9,122 Views | 67 Comments

I sat there in library working on one of my many papers and projects that I had due. I was exhausted--exhausted physically, mentally, emotionally; I was done with it. Suddenly, a thought came to my mind to kill myself. I finished... Read More


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    Med, BPD gets a lot of undeserved negative light. I don't think I see much good about BPD online or even spoken.

    What makes me mad about multi is this--I really wrote the article for Mental Health Awareness Month (my contribution), for myself, and for the admitted and "in the closet" people with BPD. The only part of it that was directly at the non-BPD people (other diagnosis or non-diagnosis) was that I was hoping for people to have a conversation as in ask me (and other posters here with it) about BPD instead of these negative stereotypes. I am sorry she (?) was abused--there must have been something else wrong that person. People with BPD are violent towards themselves--perhaps he had something like severe antisocial (although mild antisocials are mostly just people who do drugs, per what my therapist told me. I asked her what they were like because I am sure they get a negative stereotype, too.)

    Like I said, I can google BPD and multi's story comes up a hundred times (by other non-BPD people, of course); I want something positive for a change. I am just incredibly exhausted with the negativity. If harm wasn't meant then I have no idea why multi connected a BPD story with abuse and whatever it was.

    My goal was to give hope and enlighten, not to bash people with BPD by connecting them with abuse. Some people with BPD might be like that, but note the some--not all.

    Google her. Randi Kreger--Walking on Eggshells. The book she co-wrote is a book people with family members with BPD have been recommended since the 80s. Then, she decided she was an expert (no healthcare credentials) so she wrote every slanderous aspect (from jobs to relationships to parenting) of BPD. It's ridiculous. Many more like her. Just haven't found anything really positive.

    I kind of like my BPD. First to say it...and it's okay. I am who I am and I am following healthy habits now.

    Shy, I am not looking for "way to go" comments. I wanted a discussion and wanted people to ask me questions and such rather than turn into the toxic BPD bashing it's always been. The thing about BPD is it has a huge stigma. Most of that stigma (99.9%) comes from healthcare providers. I wish it would change.

    Maybe I should ask multi this--what was the point of your posts? If all BPD people are not like that, then what were you getting at? I apparently missed it and automatically thought it was a bash post.
  2. 1
    Quote from wish_me_luck
    Med, BPD gets a lot of undeserved negative light. I don't think I see much good about BPD online or even spoken.

    What makes me mad about multi is this--I really wrote the article for Mental Health Awareness Month (my contribution), for myself, and for the admitted and "in the closet" people with BPD. The only part of it that was directly at the non-BPD people (other diagnosis or non-diagnosis) was that I was hoping for people to have a conversation as in ask me (and other posters here with it) about BPD instead of these negative stereotypes. I am sorry she (?) was abused--there must have been something else wrong that person. People with BPD are violent towards themselves--perhaps he had something like severe antisocial (although mild antisocials are mostly just people who do drugs, per what my therapist told me. I asked her what they were like because I am sure they get a negative stereotype, too.)

    Like I said, I can google BPD and multi's story comes up a hundred times (by other non-BPD people, of course); I want something positive for a change. I am just incredibly exhausted with the negativity. If harm wasn't meant then I have no idea why multi connected a BPD story with abuse and whatever it was.

    My goal was to give hope and enlighten, not to bash people with BPD by connecting them with abuse. Some people with BPD might be like that, but note the some--not all.

    Google her. Randi Kreger--Walking on Eggshells. The book she co-wrote is a book people with family members with BPD have been recommended since the 80s. Then, she decided she was an expert (no healthcare credentials) so she wrote every slanderous aspect (from jobs to relationships to parenting) of BPD. It's ridiculous. Many more like her. Just haven't found anything really positive.

    I kind of like my BPD. First to say it...and it's okay. I am who I am and I am following healthy habits now.

    Shy, I am not looking for "way to go" comments. I wanted a discussion and wanted people to ask me questions and such rather than turn into the toxic BPD bashing it's always been. The thing about BPD is it has a huge stigma. Most of that stigma (99.9%) comes from healthcare providers. I wish it would change.

    Maybe I should ask multi this--what was the point of your posts? If all BPD people are not like that, then what were you getting at? I apparently missed it and automatically thought it was a bash post.
    Mine was in no way a "way to go comment." Your expectations for this article were very unrealistic. I hope one day you will be able to see that and gain some insight on the negative image of BPD through doing some introspection.
    multi10 likes this.
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    Shy, I am not saying yours was--I am saying the point of the article other than for myself, MH month, and for others with BPD was to hopefully enlighten people, not fish for "way to go comments". I don't mind having a conversation; however, I am not going to get into another "bash BPD" argument on here.

    I am very introspective--"the avoidant"/"hermit" BP and am at a lovely point in my life.

    Sorry for trying to enlighten people about BPD and a perspective from a person with BPD. I am tired of this thread. I don't think anyone's perspective of people with BPD changed at all. You already have your mind made up.
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    [QUOTE="wish_me_luck;7324435"]Shy, I am not saying yours was--I am saying the point of the article other than for myself, MH month, and for others with BPD was to hopefully enlighten people, not fish for "way to go comments". I don't mind having a conversation; however, I am not going to get into another "bash BPD" argument on here.

    I am very introspective--"the avoidant"/"hermit" BP and am at a lovely point in my life.

    Sorry for trying to enlighten people about BPD and a perspective from a person with BPD. I am tired of this thread. I don't think anyone's perspective of people with BPD changed at all. You already have your mind made up.[/vQUOTE]

    Well if nothing else your article certainly helped me. I too have searched online on the topic and there are nothing but horror stories and advice to stay far far away from people with BPD. I don't get the point of multi ls post either.
  5. 0
    Wish me luck, I'm so sorry about the direction your thread took - but I am very proud of you for sticking your neck out, and very thankful you did. I did have an initial dx of borderline after a suicide attempt; it has been changed to Bipolar and the PD dropped. We both get misunderstood lol... but meanwhile we both can be a strength and help to others in recovery, now that we are past that initial recovery phase.

    Later, after I had been sober and stable for a while, I worked chemical dependency/psych briefly and I was in awe at how professionals misunderstood people w/ borderline personality dx. Really they were not served the way they should have been. Staff acted like it was the clients' fault and that their behavior said something about their CHARACTER. Very sad. Your article and comments were and are VERY much needed, and I know that under the search engines now there will be a more reliable resource because of you.
  6. 0
    Quote from Liddle Noodnik
    Wish me luck, I'm so sorry about the direction your thread took - but I am very proud of you for sticking your neck out, and very thankful you did. I did have an initial dx of borderline after a suicide attempt; it has been changed to Bipolar and the PD dropped. We both get misunderstood lol... but meanwhile we both can be a strength and help to others in recovery, now that we are past that initial recovery phase.

    Later, after I had been sober and stable for a while, I worked chemical dependency/psych briefly and I was in awe at how professionals misunderstood people w/ borderline personality dx. Really they were not served the way they should have been. Staff acted like it was the clients' fault and that their behavior said something about their CHARACTER. Very sad. Your article and comments were and are VERY much needed, and I know that under the search engines now there will be a more reliable resource because of you.
    How do you define one's character without examining one's behavior?
  7. 0
    Quote from ShyeoftheTiger
    How do you define one's character without examining one's behavior?
    "One's" is the key word ... and when the illness is stable isn't that a more reliable measurement? The more operative question is, how does a nurse examine one's behavior without being judgmental? And how does one give someone with borderline personality disorder fair treatment?Those are the questions one should ask oneself.

    And if you are being abused, the diagnosis (if there is one) doesn't really matter. Get safe, and take care of yourself. Period.

    And do you disagree with those who say there was more to this than a diagnosis of borderline personality?
  8. 1
    Quote from Liddle Noodnik
    And do you disagree with those who say there was more to this than a diagnosis of borderline personality?
    In no way do I disagree that more was going on than just BPD. In fact, I would say that whatever else was going on is probably responsible.

    Also, I would like to clarify that a) I am not yet a nurse, but have personal experience with BPD and b) I believe that there is effective treatment for BPD and, in my opinion, it is not a permanent diagnosis. People with BPD can and do get better. It is not a hopeless diagnosis.

    With that said, I believe that being responsible for "one's" behavior and understanding it as it relates to how "one" is percieved is paramount to the treatment and understanding of BPD.

    I apologize if my previous comments made it seem like I was unsympathetic to those with BPD.
    pinkiepieRN likes this.
  9. 0
    Quote from ShyeoftheTiger
    In no way do I disagree that more was going on than just BPD. In fact, I would say that whatever else was going on is probably responsible.

    Also, I would like to clarify that a) I am not yet a nurse, but have personal experience with BPD and b) I believe that there is effective treatment for BPD and, in my opinion, it is not a permanent diagnosis. People with BPD can and do get better. It is not a hopeless diagnosis.

    With that said, I believe that being responsible for "one's" behavior and understanding it as it relates to how "one" is percieved is paramount to the treatment and understanding of BPD.

    I apologize if my previous comments made it seem like I was unsympathetic to those with BPD.
    I have never heard it said BPD was not permanent, but I was dx w/ borderline way back and have since had that dx erased; it is good to know lol... now I'm "just" bipolar

    I was a little defensive of a friend with the dx so I am sorry if I seemed a little put out, too. That wasn't all on you ... thanks for the apology.

    What I was referring to was the eyerolling and muttering I witnessed behind the backs of some of our unit's better known folks w/ borderline ... Just having the dx seemed to generate that kind of response. "Borderline? Ohhhh, I see...." and the treatment that person received would automatically be less genuine and caring. That's how it seemed to me, anyway. Yes taking care of them could be frustrating but they weren't there for me - they were there for treatment, and I was there to help them. Judging them ahead of time was not the way for me to help them.
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    Quote from Liddle Noodnik

    I have never heard it said BPD was not permanent, but I was dx w/ borderline way back and have since had that dx erased; it is good to know lol... now I'm "just" bipolar

    I was a little defensive of a friend with the dx so I am sorry if I seemed a little put out, too. That wasn't all on you ... thanks for the apology.

    What I was referring to was the eyerolling and muttering I witnessed behind the backs of some of our unit's better known folks w/ borderline ... Just having the dx seemed to generate that kind of response. "Borderline? Ohhhh, I see...." and the treatment that person received would automatically be less genuine and caring. That's how it seemed to me, anyway. Yes taking care of them could be frustrating but they weren't there for me - they were there for treatment, and I was there to help them. Judging them ahead of time was not the way for me to help them.
    It is only my opinion that BPD is not necessarily permanent (and I'm not a medical professional)! It's just how I personally view the disorder...

    No apology necessary on your end! Sometimes my strong feelings about certain topics take me to an offensive place haha My previous comments had less to do with BPD than they did with the sake of argument (a bad habit of mine... Especially on AN).

    Yeah, the stigma BPD carries is one of the reasons many are, as the OP puts it, "in the closet". I mean, why put yourself out there to be treated like more crap?


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