Old New Nurse W/ An Attitude

Nurses General Nursing

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SnowShoeRN

468 Posts

Specializes in Family Medicine, Tele/Cardiac, Camp.
That is an insanely depressing way to look at things.

This nurse is not perfect just like anyone else. She has a poor attitude but this isn't something that CANNOT be changed. She probably is not even totally aware that she does this.

First, she needs to understand that she does this. Once she understands she is unappreciative of help, she will want to change...

Second, she probably needs help identifying what is causing her to do this...once she understands WHY she is the way she is she can work towards changing it.

I believe you should still help her when needed, especially for the sake of the patient but try to be direct when she makes snappy or rude comments.

Obviously it's your own call, but as for the above comment, I agree completely. As someone who has needed to be told to stop acting like a jerk (and as someone who was totally unaware I was doing it), I have really appreciated both the direct manner in which the topic of my behavior has been approached as well as the technical help that I've continued to receive from other nurses in the process.

I think that everyone reacts in different ways to stressful situations. I also think that everyone comes from different backgrounds in terms of what behavior was or is appropriate in their families, past, culture, etc. Often times people who act this way do so to overcompensate their own misgivings and insecurities about themselves. Whatever the reason, I think she needs to know that her actions are inappropriate. Preferably from a colleague vs a manager/supervisor.

I think that you should make an effort to get on some common ground with her (talk about likes, family, interests, etc), but I also think you should find a way to pull her aside and tell her that while you appreciate what she can give to the floor, you are personally offended by her behavior at times. Reminding her that others may refuse to help her if she keeps it up is helpful, but I don't think you should deny assistance to her. If you do, it can not only reflect poorly on the floor/hospital but can potentially really adversely affect patient care, as I'm sure you're aware.

Goodluck.

Virgo_RN, BSN, RN

3,543 Posts

Specializes in Cardiac Telemetry, ED.
Sorry, but I have to disagree.

Simply because an individual is under stress is not an excuse to treat one's co-workers like crap.

Yes, this person may be perfectly nice when not under stress - doesn't really matter though, if they're just going to snap at someone right at the time their teamwork needs to be at its best. The Jeckle & Hyde routine is the easiest way out.

I would discuss this with a nurse manager, present your concerns as you have above. "I want to help so-and-so when issues arise, but their demeanor during these situations is very abrasive" ...

We don't know that she's treating her "like crap". There were no specific examples provided, just generalizations, and through the filter of the OP. This is hardly an objective assessment of the situation. Sometimes we can be really thin skinned, when we need to cut each other a little slack.

Tweety, BSN, RN

34,250 Posts

Specializes in Med-Surg, Trauma, Ortho, Neuro, Cardiac.

Before you go to management, confront her. Tell her to her face exactly what you posted here on this bulletin board. Then take the high road and continue to help her for your patients sake. When done, if she continues to disrespect you nip it in the bud then and there. "I helped you out of a jam just now, because I believe in being a team player for better patient care, you didn't even say thank you and you criticized me. This makes me inclined not to help you. Is this how you intended to come across? We've already talked and thought we came to an understanding."

Tweety, BSN, RN

34,250 Posts

Specializes in Med-Surg, Trauma, Ortho, Neuro, Cardiac.
That is an insanely depressing way to look at things.

This nurse is not perfect just like anyone else. She has a poor attitude but this isn't something that CANNOT be changed. She probably is not even totally aware that she does this.

First, she needs to understand that she does this. Once she understands she is unappreciative of help, she will want to change. Unless she is narcisstic or has some other personality disorder...

Second, she probably needs help identifying what is causing her to do this. This may be beyond what you can do to her. Mainly she just needs support. Many of us act out our feelings in less than ideal ways simply because we cannot identify what is causing our actions. She is probably just STRESSED. This is not an excuse, but once she understands WHY she is the way she is she can work towards changing it.

I believe you should still help her when needed, especially for the sake of the patient but try to be direct when she makes snappy or rude comments.

My approach is to "call people out" in a polite, but direct manner. For instance, "I offered my assistance in doing this ____(dressing change etc)because you said you needed help. I completed it the same way I do for my own patients, if you find the way I am doing things unacceptable please ask someone else next time."

But what do I know, I'm just a lowly student. :lol2:

Don't sell yourself short, being just a student. Sounds like good advice to me. I could have saved myself the post above and just agreed with your approach. :lol2:

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