Nursing student/Mom and last nerve about family life

  1. Hello. Maybe I need to vent and maybe need some advice. I am a fulltime nursing student and military wife. I feel so overwhelmed and guilty. First of all my son just turned 2 and he is not potty trained. The doctor said it was ok. Most people start around 27 months but we have done it on and off for months now. Military life and school keep interferring. We have been trying the pull up diapers and those are money draining. I tried the sticker reward chart and that got old.
    Anyone have any suggestions on potty training?

    Also, my husband is in the navy and we will be transferring to the coast guard in august sometime. I am going to have to leave school after the summer session because i do not know where we are going yet and when we are leaving.

    Am I stressing myself out too much? My fuse is short. I find myself getting irritated and mad about such small things and I wind up getting angry at everyone.

    I took up knitting to help me relax and it works but I would need to do it all day I think.

    Sorry about the post. I just feel like I want to lose it.

    Sheri
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  2. 42 Comments

  3. by   Spidey's mom
    Hi - well, my son is almost 3 and not potty trained yet. There are times he goes in his little toilet but it is not consistent. I've got three older kids too (21 years old, 19 years old and 14 years old). They are all potty trained. 2 years old is a bit young to be completely potty trained. The advice I got was if they aren't ready, stop. Just let it go. Try again later.

    The funny thing is I find changing diapers easier than cleaning the poop out of the potty chair . . you have to dump it in the big toilet and then clean the potty chair. I'd rather change diapers.

    Rest assured your son will be potty trained someday and don't worry about it right now as you have enough on your plate.

    steph
  4. by   Shed13911
    Wow, YOU have every right to be stressed. Your family is going through so many changes right now. Potty training can wait until everything settles down. I work for a pedi triage call center and we would never recommend training your son at this point. Not only is it stressful for him, more than likely, it will not work. We see alot of children who are pressured to potty train by overly stressed parents(not your fault), that refuse/detain having a BM until it is very painful/needs medical intervention(the extreme end). Children should be potty trained when they seem mature enough to understand what you expect of them/and when home life is not complicated by other changes. Their age to potty train can vary depending on when the other factors are met. Please feel free to speak to your childs pediatrician about your concerns and for reassurance. Cut yourself some slack, you have a lot to deal with right now. ((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))
  5. by   IamRN
    Quote from stevielynn
    Hi - well, my son is almost 3 and not potty trained yet. There are times he goes in his little toilet but it is not consistent. I've got three older kids too (21 years old, 19 years old and 14 years old). They are all potty trained. 2 years old is a bit young to be completely potty trained. The advice I got was if they aren't ready, stop. Just let it go. Try again later.

    The funny thing is I find changing diapers easier than cleaning the poop out of the potty chair . . you have to dump it in the big toilet and then clean the potty chair. I'd rather change diapers.

    Rest assured your son will be potty trained someday and don't worry about it right now as you have enough on your plate.

    steph
    Yo Steph, I like your attitude!

    I haven't seen a schoolage kid not yet potty trained. My dd is now 4.5 and potty trained at about three. She was soooo ready, it only took about two weeks...and we went straight to using the toilet because I *hate* cleaning BM from the potty chair. She adjusted very well to using the toilet from the start. I should note, night time training took a bit longer. She used diapers at night and then we just switched to regular undies when we noticed her being dry more often in the AM.

    Fast forward to my 2.5 yo boy. He is not at all ready. And I don't care. He will eventually be. Then again, he still nurses :kiss He will self wean when he is ready.

    About those diaper-undies, I don't believe in them. I think they are a rip off. The kid feels just like he does when he is wearing a diaper...because it is the same material. When he is ready consider trying cloth trainer pants. Kids know when they are wet and are quicker to get the message.

    Hugs!
  6. by   LydiaGreen
    Sheri,

    You are going through a lot. Potty training is different for EVERY child. My son potty-trained himself at the age of 21.5 months when I had his little sister. I brought her home from the hospital and he said I big brother, no more. And that was that. My daughter was a different story. We started when she was two thinking that if our son was trained at that age, she should be. We tried for months and it was so upsetting that we were getting nowhere. We finally realized she wasn't ready and we stopped all efforts at potty training. Shortly before her third birthday, she decided that she was ready and trained herself in a couple of weeks. A child has to be ready for potty training, starting earlier than they are ready only makes them resist you. Continue using diapers until your child has decided that they are ready. And don't beat yourself up, you are doing a great job with a lot on your plate. Give yourself a pat on the back and one evening off from the school work. You deserve it.
  7. by   J Lynn
    My DD is 3 1/2 and still not potty trained. She has to be by Aug. b/c the school she is enrolled in requires it. I've been trying since Jan. Nothing is working (bought the potty tapes, doll, timer, and of course, the pull ups). I'm trying not to push her since i'm in the middle of studying for the NCLEX and finding a job and keeping the kids busy during the summer.

    I don't like to advertise this too much, but after I got on a low dose Prozac, I was able to handle the stress of nursing school and family a whole lot better. I actually stopped crying on a weekly basis. It helped me to feel more confident in clinicals which I needed despartaly.

    Hope it works out and keep us posted.
  8. by   mariedoreen
    Don't worry, it's not that you're doing anything wrong, it's that he's not ready for it.. so there's nothing you can do that would be right. Forget about it for a long while.. and rest assured you could never bring the subject up again and he would still not show up for kindergarten in diapers!
  9. by   lisamc1RN
    Another mommy of a 2 year old chiming in. Just wait. I know it gets frustrating. Allow yourself to relax and do this on his timing. He will potty train. I look back on my older children's potty training and ask myself "what was my hurry?". Besides, you have enough on your plate right now.
  10. by   Energizer Bunny
    Quote from stevielynn
    Hi - well, my son is almost 3 and not potty trained yet. There are times he goes in his little toilet but it is not consistent. I've got three older kids too (21 years old, 19 years old and 14 years old). They are all potty trained. 2 years old is a bit young to be completely potty trained. The advice I got was if they aren't ready, stop. Just let it go. Try again later.

    The funny thing is I find changing diapers easier than cleaning the poop out of the potty chair . . you have to dump it in the big toilet and then clean the potty chair. I'd rather change diapers.

    Rest assured your son will be potty trained someday and don't worry about it right now as you have enough on your plate.

    steph
    What Steph said. We just got our daughter (almost three) potty trained and our son was almost four before he was trained, but ya know what? Once they were ready, they did it pretty much on their own. We just did it for a couple days and if they were not even trying, we stopped for a few weeks and tried again. This time, we finally hit it and two of our three are peeing and pooing in the potty finally!

    I wish you much luck...hang in there!
  11. by   beccaleigh72
    I have a 2 year old and I used mm's to get her started first for tee tee and then when she got that down pat i told her that if she had a poo poo she would get them.. now she does not get rewarded with candy now its a high five.. but dont stress they will get the hang of it.. oh and i took diaper off and used panties.. she did not like the feeling of pee running down her leg.. Just dont let them sit on furniture with panties on..lol..good luck to you!

    Quote from sherichance
    Hello. Maybe I need to vent and maybe need some advice. I am a fulltime nursing student and military wife. I feel so overwhelmed and guilty. First of all my son just turned 2 and he is not potty trained. The doctor said it was ok. Most people start around 27 months but we have done it on and off for months now. Military life and school keep interferring. We have been trying the pull up diapers and those are money draining. I tried the sticker reward chart and that got old.
    Anyone have any suggestions on potty training?

    Also, my husband is in the navy and we will be transferring to the coast guard in august sometime. I am going to have to leave school after the summer session because i do not know where we are going yet and when we are leaving.

    Am I stressing myself out too much? My fuse is short. I find myself getting irritated and mad about such small things and I wind up getting angry at everyone.

    I took up knitting to help me relax and it works but I would need to do it all day I think.

    Sorry about the post. I just feel like I want to lose it.

    Sheri
  12. by   Phenomenon
    I feel for you, definitely know what it is like!

    As for potty training, it is so true that the child has to be ready. Don't beat yourself up because he is two! Some kids are ready by then, but the majority are ready closer to three. I bought a small potty and had it in the bathroom what felt like forever. All our efforts at trying to get my daughter trained were useless. When she was close to turning three, we had given up and barely talked about it. Then boom. Just like that she said "I want to use this potty now" and she was trained from that point on. What I realized was that she was going to do this major developmental step on her OWN terms, when she was ready. As other posts stated, just forget about it for a while, and give yourself permission to NOT feel guilty about it!! Your son will do it in his own time.

    As for you as a mom and student, I know how that is!! It is so hard to try and be a good student and keep up with all the work, and tend to children and make meals and clean the house and pay bills and do laundry and spend time with your hubby. I found, for me, I had to change my whole mindset and way of thinking to be able to get through it. And I know what it feels like with the guilt. It is overwhelming guilt! But, I had to make choices or I know I would self-destruct. For example, I had to let a lot of my ideas of how clean I want my house to be, go out the drain. I realized it wont kill us to have a messy house. And whenever I get a week or two off, I clean then. I had to let go and most of all, not let myself feel guilty about it! That is the worst feeling, it can eat you up inside. Second, I also had to let the guilt go about my daughter. No, I am not always there when I want to be. But I make our time quality time. And when I finish school, I have to realize how much better we will be for it. I am honoring my dream, and that will teach my child that even as a parent, it is so important to honor your dreams and goals. Eventually, she will model this behaviour.

    You are doing the best you can, and the fact that you care so much proves that you are a great mom! I wish you all the encouragement in the world and the strength to get through this time!!!
  13. by   Betty_SPN_KS
    If the pullups are too expensive, you might go with the cheaper tape-on kind. Not quite as convenient, and sometimes I've had to use a thin strip of duct tape when the tapes wear out. When you child stays dry longer, maybe fasten it a little loose to pull up and down? I've tried different tricks over the years with my 8 kids.
    If you're in school, though, don't worry too much about getting your child trained right away. Nursing school is too demanding for that. A lot of the rest of your life has to be put on hold for awhile.
  14. by   sherichance
    thank you to everyone....i feel better now...i thought my son might be ready because he gives me that look when he is ready to go potty...he just hasnt grasped the idea of doing it in the potty chair....i tried the regular underwear too and he did not like going to the bathroom on himself...it is just so hard to stick to it....our schedule changes constantly around here so its hard to stick to it.....i will lay off for a while...i just dont want to push him or make him feel bad that he isnt using the potty.....

    but thank you for the encouragement and advice!!!

    sheri

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