nursing isn't for everyone

Nurses General Nursing

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Inspired by the thread on the realities of nursing/healthcare vs. what people expect...

If you are having second thoughts about nursing school and/or entering the nursing profession, listen to your intuition. YOU know yourself better than anyone else - including well-meaning friends and family- and you know what is best for you.

People are fond of saying "it takes a special kind of person to be a nurse" and "not everyone is cut out for it" and while the often-condescending attitude implied in that is wrong, the premise is right. It takes a particular set of talents, interests, personality traits, and passion to be successful AND happy as a nurse- just like it takes a certain unique combination of attributes to be a chef, lawyer, au pair, day trader, plumber, cinematographer, computer programmer, or any other job you can possibly think of. Take an honest look at your talents, interests, and personality traits before you go to nursing school if you are having any doubts at all. If you feel you are better suited to something else, pursue that instead!

Also think about WHY you want to go into nursing. If nursing honestly doesn't appeal to you, don't go into it just for the money or the job security. (Healthcare is always changing and there is NO guarantee your job and/or salary won't be cut on a whim. It's happened before and it can happen again.)

Don't go into it to please other people. (YOU will be the one getting up at 5 am, holding your pee for hours, paying back your student loans, etc.)

Don't go into it thinking it's an easy way to fund your real passions and/or side business, or that it's a "fallback plan" to rely on while you try to make a living doing what you love. (If that's your line of thinking, imho you're more likely to be successful if you channel all the time, effort, money, and energy you would have spent getting a nursing degree and direct it toward what you really want. Nursing is a full-time job and then some, and they expect to be your #1 priority.)

I majored in violin performance in undergrad. After graduating I started teaching private students and playing local professional gigs - I was not rich obviously, but I was supporting myself independently and making it work.

My family, otoh, thought I was a failure and a disappointment because I didn't have a 9-5 career. "when are you going to grow up?", "XYZ's daughter is applying for law schools, and I have to tell people you teach violin lessons", "no one makes a living at music", "you're going to end up living in a box on the street with nothing if you don't go back to school and get a real job", etc.

When the recession hit in 2008, several of my students had to cut back or stop lessons because they couldn't afford as much, and I had two performance contracts cancelled because the organizations weren't getting their money either. I panicked and decided they were right and I had to go back to school for something "secure" and "professional". According to everyone, healthcare was the only sure thing left.

My intuition was saying "don't do it", and logically there was never anything to suggest that I would make a decent nurse (I'm not a nurturing person, I'm crap at science, I don't like working with sick people or old people, and I hated working as a CNA).

When I received an acceptance letter my first thought was "I could just shred the letter and tell everyone I was rejected".

When I started struggling with severe depression in nursing school, it scared me - I've always been a happy, generally positive person. If that's not a red flag that you're on the wrong path, I don't know what is. I've been working for a year, and I finally have to admit this isn't for me and I need to make a change.

So right now I'm working PRN and actively working on getting back into teaching and performing violin. I have so much regret about the time and money I spent doing something I never wanted to do- I can never get those 5 years back, and I will probably be on income-based student loan repayment until I'm 50, and going back to working for myself is scary because unlike nursing, there is no guaranteed weekly paycheck. But I also feel SO relieved. I'm starting to feel like myself again.

I just found this forum, and I've read several posts where people are either questioning if it's right for them, or regretting their decision and asking for advice on how to get out. Sorry for the excessively lengthy post, but I wish that even one person would have taken me aside while I was preparing to go to nursing school and said "you don't want to do this and you're not good at it; why are you doing this?"

And the scary thing is that I've met other people at work whose stories are much the same. The guy shadowing me who looked bored out of his mind all day and came alive when he talked about how he wanted to start a car detailing business and planned on using his nursing income to do that. (Wouldn't it make more sense to get a small business loan NOW and focus all your energy on that, than to spend four years doing something you don't care about and then try to divide your energy between nursing and starting your business?) The student who wanted to be a massage therapist but felt pressured by her family into getting a BSN and then an MSN because only a master's degree was prestigious enough for them. Anyway. If you recognize yourself in any of this, think really hard about whether nursing is right for you.

Specializes in Medical-Surgical, Telemetry/ICU Stepdown.
I personally would like to totally blow apart the "nursing is a calling" or "pursue your passion" tripe. If you are called to it, awesome, but the rest of us that see it as a means to support our families and have a respectable career shouldn't be judged for our decisions to get into nursing. I think this "angel of mercy" stereotype keeps us back as the medical professionals we are, hence the bullying and the outcry at any nurses pursuing further education.

Historically, I've never recalled anyone saying "physical therapy is my passion!"

My thoughts exactly.

My passion is to live in the Bahamas working as a lifeguard, drinking cocktails and swimming with the hot babes. But I also need to a realistic plan for surviving in this world.

If you have a steady job that's reasonably good and pays bills, and you get to work with reasonably good people, you hold onto it until you find something better, or come up with a new plan, and deal with occasional bad emotions. And don't worry about prophets of doom who promise your life will be a failure because you failed in your dream of becoming an astronaut. There is a whole world of experiences and opportunities out there.

I know I software development nurse at my hospital and I know a lawyers nurse who runs a legal practice. You can branch out to just about anything from nursing. People working in fast food restaurants and hospitality/retail can only dream about the growth opportunities in nursing. People who don't take advantage of that are generally people who don't try.

For everyone who added your story to the mix, thank you! That is rather what I was hoping for, that anyone considering nursing school but questioning it because they aren't sure it's right for them could read this thread and get a variety of thoughts and experiences from others who were in the same position, i.e. having doubts/unsure.

To clarify, I'm not saying that nursing sucks and no one should ever do it. I'm not even saying that if you have doubts it means you shouldn't do it. Know yourself, and don't do it if you dislike everything about nursing and are doing it ONLY for the money and/or supposed ease of finding a job.

Liked your post OP. I am one of those who should have never become a nurse. I wanted to be a doctor and was pre-med but switched to nursing and I have no idea why. I still consider going to DO school but the debt scares me at my age. I'm back in school for IT but deep down I know that isn't what I want to do either. I even considered law school but again the debt and I know I won't be truly happy being a lawyer. Maybe one day I'll realize Doe just finish up your pre-med pre-reqs and apply to DO school.

Sent from my iPhone using allnurses.com

Specializes in LTC, Psych, M/S.
I guess I am the opposite of you. I've made the money vs. happiness decision before and went with happiness. Then my idea of happiness changed as I got older. Now I want a house, the 401K and the car I don't have to put oil in just to get to the grocery store. I know nursing is not my dream job, but its going to beat the hell out of working fun low paying jobs now that my perspective has changed. I was a waitress/flute teacher.[/quote']

Are you assuming a nursing job is going to provide "a car, house and 401k?" Hmmmm

Awesome thread ceccia! I too agree with a lot of sentiments in this thread. Its and awesome but tough profession and not everyone fits, find what makes YOU content with life!

I am not assuming, I know plenty of people in the nursing field who have their own homes and cars that don't have 170,000 miles on them. :) Not talking about the 3,000 square foot brick home and a Lexus, but I know I will do just fine.

Also, I should add that working in this field has made me appreciate the people I work with who really ARE good at what they do and thrive in their roles as nurses, CNA's, therapists, etc. I have no idea how you do it and thus I have loads of respect for you.

Specializes in Pediatrics, Emergency, Trauma.

Congrats OP-you realized what works for you and your talents; finally bucking against what your own family thinks-priceless. :cheeky:

We've all been there at some point...go live your life and DO it well!

I think your passion is a wonderful one; one we need; and being your own boss is a wonderful thing!!!

(been there, don't that and still do as an independent contractor in nursing! :yes: )

Sending positive vibes in your success~~~

This is a horrid excuse... So this thread is saying if you can't put up with the abuse then leave. SO, nursing is nothing but an abused state of affairs...I seriously ca nnot stand what I'm reading and will write more later. I can't believe the crap I'm reading.

Specializes in Pediatrics, Emergency, Trauma.
There are 1 million personalities out there and 1 million different outcomes. Nursing was also a second career for me-I started taking nursing school prereqs when I was about 30. Everything worked out fine for me, even if my first career was drastically different. I have been a RN since 2008 and going very strong, despite being a man which is a challenge, it is a handicap, we don't have to deny it. I had a corporate cubicle-type of job before nursing. What made me a decent match for nursing was an outgoing personality (I grew up in Europe, traveled extensively, I'm bilingual) and a sense of humor (I like to laugh). Also, I really enjoyed healthcare sciences and got excellent grades in those courses (it seems like those classes were a real nightmare for some of my classmates at the time). Every floor nurse has negative emotions from time to time, esp. when patients are being unappreciative, but as long as most days are good, you are on the right track. I just want to remind you that whatever you do for a living, it's a responsibility, there is accountability, there are negative consequences and negative emotions if you screw up, but occasional bad days is not a reason to declare you failed and your career has been a failure. When a day is not going well, a stock broker experiences very similar emotions to a nurse's emotions during a bad day, but it doesn't mean she a bad broker or in the wrong career field. It's OK to have negative emotions about nursing from time to time, the only people who believe in a perpetually happy nurse are the fat, lazy managers who sit on their ivory tower in the corporate offices and celebrate because they no longer have patient contact. Also, I do believe you can have backup career/hobbies/interests outside of nursing. I mean it's a full-time job, even if you nurse just 3 days per week, you can't call off because you have violin practice that day, nursing has to be the priority, but it's perfectly OK to have a life outside of nursing, to take art classes, to give violin lessons, whatever you like to do. If you don't have a life outside of nursing, that's kind of depressing and something is wrong. Nursing, of all the professions, is one of the most flexible careers out there, and gives you plenty of time off to pursue other interests and develop as a person.

****I don't know, I guess I'm a different person from the author of this post. I'm a pragmatic. I don't believe in the "all or nothing attitude" ("I will become a symphony violinist or I don't want to live"). I had an all-or-nothing attitude when I was a juvenile, but as I got older my thinking became flexible. Never had a clue I was going to be a nurse, never had any nursing ambitions when I was in my 20s, but once I got into nursing, and things started to work out just fine, I was grateful for this opportunity to learn something completely different, and make decent money in the process. I adjusted my career expectations, and never had regrets about it.***

Well said!! :yes:

Especially your last paragraph.

I can honestly say I love what I do...healthcare is the ONLY career I have done well; I was a volunteer at 14, by 16 working in a health center while in HS, first job at 19 as a unit secretary/ER tech, and went from there; failed at nursing at 19/20; picked myself up and went back and became an LPN, worked in a variety of settings for 5 years and got my BSN last year.

I've worked up the ladder in this career. It truly has a certain philosophical skill set and thought process that helps one to not only survive, but thrive in this business; it does help to have a thought process of reality in it-we goal set, teach, diagnose and intervene...in each setting, I've been able to do that; I respect my accountability and responsibility; it can be VERY empowering; and it has for me, but such is life.

Whatever decision we decide on our journeys, we can all agree it's NEVER what we expect, but, we can enjoy the ride...it's all in the approach. :yes:

Specializes in Cardiology, Cardiothoracic Surgical.

I'm not looking to be bangin' in a Benz, but I have a truck in decent condition, a retirement account, and I'm buying my first house, and nursing helped me get that :yes:.

Specializes in Medical-Surgical, Telemetry/ICU Stepdown.

To clarify, I'm not saying that nursing sucks and no one should ever do it. I'm not even saying that if you have doubts it means you shouldn't do it. Know yourself, and don't do it if you dislike everything about nursing and are doing it ONLY for the money and/or supposed ease of finding a job.

Your emotions are perfectly normal. According to employee satisfaction polls, something like 85% of Americans, including many nurses, hate their jobs. Getting up at 5AM and going to work with song on your lips because you're going to work is a fairy tale. Nursing is a decent career, no more, no less. It has days that suck. If it didn't, it wouldn't be a job. But if I look at the balance of things, a majority of days have been good, and a majority of nursing classes (except stupid statistics) were enjoyable and fun. Good luck to you in your future endeavours.

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