Nursing Career & Relationships, Marriage

[OnePostAndDone]

Hi, I'm very new to the Forum and I've spent some time reading various threads on the subject I'm about to touch on. I've decided to post probably for my own reassurances, but also mainly to vent a little bit about a situation I am currently experiencing. I'm hoping some of the individuals here will be able to help me and let me know what I can reasonably expect in the future. I'm hoping for some of my fears and worries to be put to rest as well.

I am not studying to become a nurse; my girlfriend is. I'm studying to become a high school science teacher. I ultimately made this decision for the personal gratification that comes with teaching, but also because I wanted to have the time and the schedule to give the most to my future spouse and family. I believe teaching will allow this. I love my girlfriend with all of my heart and she intends to become a RN and work in a hospital here in New York. She's a very diligent student, and I was never really aware of the level of dedication required to do well in nursing school. That said, I've essentially been told that I will see very, very little of her for approximately the next three years (the time it will take her to finish the degree), at least. And possibly beyond. Needless to say, I'm incredibly concerned, a little hurt, and frankly a little frustrated.

That said, I would love to hear stories of members here with nursing careers who have been able to balance work and life; I would love to hear that you often see your spouses, spend good quality time together, perhaps even go out or on vacation here and there. Please let me know that it's possible to have a normal relationship, or married life with another individual and a career in nursing. I am sure that the two aren't mutually exclusive, but it currently feels that way a little bit now. Three years (or more) of a "Dear John" situation is a little tough to swallow right now even despite the fact that I love this woman quite a lot.

Thank you for your time and consideration. I really do appreciate any and all input from everyone who may choose to write a response. If you happen to include some unhappy information, that's okay too, I really do need to hear about all the possibilities I could resonably expect here.

And since I can't help but throw in a few emoticons:

I :redbeathe a

[Navigatingnursing]

I think you are a great guy for looking ahead and knowing and facing your fears realistically. I don't think you are being possessive, rather, its good that you address your concerns.

I just started nursing school and broke up w/someone cos I found out he was cheating. I had always been open and frank that if anything was wrong and he wanted his space he could have it. He assured me I had nothing to worry about. Then I found hard evidence of cheating. I got him out of my life and am keeping my head clear for school.

So kudos to you for knowing what you are concerned about and addressing it and valuing family and relationship and community. I wish I had a special person to help me and give me hugs and encouragement. BTW, you sound young and mature. My ex is in his 50's! So good for you and for the people that raised you!

[misty246]

I'm in school online to finish my BSN. I am within 6 classes of graduating. My husband and I take advantage of "school breaks." I'm on a 3 week break now and scheduled my "vacation" from work during this time. School is tough and the time spent studying and completing assignments is tremendous but we do take a day off here and there when I am off work and take a "day trip," we will go somewhere we want to go nearby home. I admit that we do not spend as much time together as we would like but he understands that my education is very important for both of our futures. He is extremely supportive of my study time. The time we miss together because of my schoolwork and work is stressing on both of us.

[canesdukegirl, BSN, RN]

I'm in school online to finish my BSN. I am within 6 classes of graduating. My husband and I take advantage of "school breaks." I'm on a 3 week break now and scheduled my "vacation" from work during this time. School is tough and the time spent studying and completing assignments is tremendous but we do take a day off here and there when I am off work and take a "day trip," we will go somewhere we want to go nearby home. I admit that we do not spend as much time together as we would like but he understands that my education is very important for both of our futures. He is extremely supportive of my study time. The time we miss together because of my schoolwork and work is stressing on both of us.

I feel your pain, but I am on the other side of the fence. My husband is getting his Master's in Public Health, and our together time is cut short often. To combat this to a degree, I ask him what his assignments are and what papers he is working on. I try to help him with the "legwork" of researching so that he can immediately put his hands on articles/papers/presentations when he needs them. I also learn a great deal about PH, so it helps us both!