Nurses with children always go home early? - page 7

I know it is controversial topic. First I explain myself a bit. I would like to have children at some point but I dont have them at the moment as I deal with some health issues and I havent met right... Read More

  1. by   Daisy Joyce
    I've never gone home early because of my kids.
    Except that one time I went into labor.
    And that other time I had to pick up DD because of concussion.
    So...twice in over 20 years in nursing.
  2. by   LibertarianNurse
    I am a mom to 3 kids and a nurse who works full time 12hr nights. My husband and I have always juggled the kids between us with little to no help from family, babysitters, or daycare providers. Our schedules have allowed this for some years now and yet I have never used the fact that I am a mom give me any special favors at work to go home early. That said, my family and kids would have to be priority if it came down to it over work. And as some one else said, going home to take care of small humans that depend on you for everything is quite a bit different than some one with no kids who has an urgent friend date or shopping trip planned. Sorry, but those things can be re-worked or rescheduled. You can't reschedule watching kids when there is no other to watch them. In fact, often as moms, we sacrifice sleep and our own wellbeing for the sake of our children. Not to say that the other things that are scheduled for single/no-kid people are not important, but the magnitude of importance is just not even on the same scale.

    What I don't understand about this post though is that most nurse moms that I know are like me; they would never ask for handouts at work to care for their kids or think of themselves as more important. If their child is sick, they may call in to stay home and take care of their kiddo, but on a regular basis, most moms I know in the nursing world do not behave this way, as if they were entitled to more time off. So I am confused about why this is happening where you are? Are your mom coworkers actively petitioning to go home early "because they have kids" above you and other singles? Or has it just been here and there? And is it happening just once in a while due to a family emergency or babysitting crisis or something?
  3. by   NurseSpeedy
    Quote from Fiona59
    Define child.

    I had to work Christmas night and leave my teenagers at home while their father was serving in Afghanistan, so that nurses with small children could be home.

    The rationale? "Your kids don't believe in Santa" WTH?
    I'm sorry that your family had to go through that. I have never once thought that my child came before any other staff members family or plans with their friends for the holidays. I've been a nurse way longer than a mom so my daughter knows that sometimes mommy has to work because unfortunately some other people are very sick on a holiday and they can't be home with their families either so mommy needs to be there to help them get better.

    I believe in fairness with holidays. Alternating years and varying amounts of commitment based level of employment (FT, PT, PRN, Pool, etc). Also, if someone really wants Christmas off but got New Years instead, there's usually someone willing to switch. When I was younger, I preferred to have Christmas Eve off, work Christmas Day, work New Years Eve, and be off New Years Day (because I went out after work New Year's Eve). Now I prefer the opposite and there's usually someone who would like to switch for that opportunity. I could care less about New Years now. I'm sleeping long before midnight!

    The thing that gets me with this original post is the assumption that momsthink they always get to leave early or give report first. That's simply not true. I have never left early and often am stuck giving report late. Due to my childcare issues, which are completely MINE, I don't work when it could present an issue.

    This whole thing is an employer issue if they allow for what has been said here to occur.

    Please excuse typos, sent from my iPhone.
  4. by   Wuzzie
    Quote from LibertarianNurse
    And as some one else said, going home to take care of small humans that depend on you for everything is quite a bit different than some one with no kids who has an urgent friend date or shopping trip planned. Sorry, but those things can be re-worked or rescheduled. You can't reschedule watching kids when there is no other to watch them. In fact, often as moms, we sacrifice sleep and our own wellbeing for the sake of our children. Not to say that the other things that are scheduled for single/no-kid people are not important, but the magnitude of importance is just not even on the same scale.
    Sorry no! YOU decided to have kids and it is YOUR responsibility to make arrangements to take care of them and have back up plans for your back up plans. YOUR children have no right to impact MY life no matter what my life entails. If your job does not meet your needs then it is up to you to find one that does. It is not up to your single co-workers to re-schedule their lives around YOUR kids. It. Just. Isn't.

    That being said, I never have a problem picking up the slack for someone who has to care for their sick child. I feel for both. Unless it becomes a pattern like every Friday, Monday or day before a holiday.
  5. by   Julius Seizure
    Quote from LibertarianNurse
    And as some one else said, going home to take care of small humans that depend on you for everything is quite a bit different than some one with no kids who has an urgent friend date or shopping trip planned.
    Several people have made this argument. Obviously they are different, I think everyone recognizes that shopping and children are different activities.

    But you know, those nurses without children don't ONLY spend their time shopping or relaxing with friends. Believe it or not, they also can have un-fun responsibilities that need to be taken care of.
  6. by   Ruby Vee
    Quote from LibertarianNurse
    And as some one else said, going home to take care of small humans that depend on you for everything is quite a bit different than some one with no kids who has an urgent friend date or shopping trip planned. Sorry, but those things can be re-worked or rescheduled. You can't reschedule watching kids when there is no other to watch them. In fact, often as moms, we sacrifice sleep and our own wellbeing for the sake of our children. Not to say that the other things that are scheduled for single/no-kid people are not important, but the magnitude of importance is just not even on the same scale.

    What I don't understand about this post though is that most nurse moms that I know are like me; they would never ask for handouts at work to care for their kids or think of themselves as more important.
    While you say that you never ask for handouts at work or think of yourself as more important because you have kids, you also say that the magnitude of importance for things for single people is not at all the same. You're a mom -- you're saying that's more important than me getting home to relieve my husband from watching my mother who has Alzheimer's or to drive my father to the Urgent Care because he had an accident with the band saw and there is no one else to drive him, or a having a drink with a friend who is at the end of her rope with an abusive spouse.

    Your kids are more important to YOU than my elderly parents or best friend. I get that. But while it's easy for you to say I can simply reschedule because the magnitude of importance of my obligations is not anywhere near the magnitude of your children, I don't see it that way. You can just as easily find, hire or trade favors with someone to watch your kids as I can reschedule Dad's laceration, my husband's need to get to work on time or my best friend's latest beating. Your kids are important, I get that. But not more important than MY priorities. It's up to YOU to arrange things so you can do your job as agreed.
  7. by   Ruby Vee
    Quote from Wuzzie
    Sorry no! YOU decided to have kids and it is YOUR responsibility to make arrangements to take care of them and have back up plans for your back up plans. YOUR children have no right to impact MY life no matter what my life entails. If your job does not meet your needs then it is up to you to find one that does. It is not up to your single co-workers to re-schedule their lives around YOUR kids. It. Just. Isn't.

    That being said, I never have a problem picking up the slack for someone who has to care for their sick child. I feel for both. Unless it becomes a pattern like every Friday, Monday or day before a holiday.
    Well said, and thanks.
  8. by   pixierose
    Quote from LibertarianNurse
    I am a mom to 3 kids and a nurse who works full time 12hr nights. My husband and I have always juggled the kids between us with little to no help from family, babysitters, or daycare providers. Our schedules have allowed this for some years now and yet I have never used the fact that I am a mom give me any special favors at work to go home early. That said, my family and kids would have to be priority if it came down to it over work. And as some one else said, going home to take care of small humans that depend on you for everything is quite a bit different than some one with no kids who has an urgent friend date or shopping trip planned. Sorry, but those things can be re-worked or rescheduled. You can't reschedule watching kids when there is no other to watch them. In fact, often as moms, we sacrifice sleep and our own wellbeing for the sake of our children. Not to say that the other things that are scheduled for single/no-kid people are not important, but the magnitude of importance is just not even on the same scale.
    But it's not up to you to determine "magnitude of importance." This post sounds reminiscent of my coworker who can't work the holidays because she has a 2-year-old and another on the way. She views that age as precious; my teens in her eyes or my mom with cancer pretty much colors her view of "magnitude" and she sees her role as a mom to a little one more important than my role as a daughter or mom to teens.

    In fact, it's none of her damn business WHY I wanted xmas off. Just like it's none of my business why my childless coworker wants to get out on time. My choice of being a parent doesn't trump over someone's yoga class, or dinner out with a friend.
  9. by   Medic/Nurse
    To me it was always a matter of context and the "situational expectation".

    If the "nurse moms" (never had a nurse dad invoke that issue that I recall) expected an accommodation on a routine basis and it was a minor issue, prolly no big deal. Gives quick report to 1st arriving nurse that could take their assignment as long as everyone was cool with it, whatever.

    If they expected not to EVER have take late flight (patient/ambo/admit) cause they MUST always leave on time, cause, you know KIDS, yeah that's a going be a problem.

    It's about whether it's an outlier or expectation. Also, about maybe how the work is divided. If I'm in the ER and the mom squad slowed down taking patients at 1700 (on a 1900 shift end) to clear their beds, while I'm always full & hopping with little help, I might get resentful real quick. There would be realignment of expectations.

    As for holidays. I never minded working Christmas am/even part of the Eve - I'd often go in at 2000 on the Eve till Noon (maybe 1300) on Christmas Day (16ish hours). I'm out for 2 days after. Also I don't mind New Years Eve/Day. I want Thanksgiving off. Generally the day before (flight) and if in the ER (the day after) cause it's a hellmouth of awful. Now, if the moms want Christmas at home, I have lots of takers when I was in the ED. Flight, I always just volunteered for Christmas (went in after midnight on the eve, or offer to depending on next day's need) and off Tgiving. Open for NYE/Day (or whatever). Flight never a problem. Staff was occasionally an issue.

    Oh, and I had one Nurse Manager toss me her keys as I arrived one day to total chaos and asked me to please leave go pick up her son (1/2 mile) as daycare was closing in 10 minutes. I was called in and it was almost a facility-wide disaster (badness!) and, well, desperate times. Plus, I knew the kiddo. I zipped and got him, called McD's to get grub ready to go for suffering ER staff (obsense # Cheeseburgers, fries) and was back with kiddo & yummies in 20 minutes. 4 year olds are cool as long as you are in mom's vehicle and get a Happy Meal, tho the number of questions were relentless. ER staff love cheeseburgers too!

    It tends to balance out. The folks that take advantage only get to do it so long without a "correction".

  10. by   CCUNURSE1
    I've worked the past 5 Christmas Eve's and Christmas days because my child is older and I was fortunate enough to be a stay at home home mom when my son was small. I am taking off Christmas Day this year because my college aged son is moving to another (out of state school this next semester) and you would think I was asking for the world to end! Excuse the lack of sympathy but, if you chose nursing (especially in a hospital setting), you know what you signed up for!!! Hospitals never close...and kids or not...everyone must take their turn!
  11. by   Dranger
    We self-schedule and had a lot of issues when we recently changed to set start times rather than variable consistently in the PACU. Daily scheduling was previously based solely on seniority. A lot of nurses with kids demanded priority because of their obligations at home which in and of itself isn't fair.....

    I just pointed out that I had partying, Tinder dates and FWBs to attend to as well. In my mind they are just as important as a family. That went well at the staff meeting......hahaha

    Late 20s single life in a big city ahhhhhhhhhh
  12. by   Mini2544
    On a similar yet unrelated topic.. where is my tax credit for not having kids and adding to the population? I mean... CA is mulling over not charging certain property tax that goes to pay for public schools.. if they don't have kids themselves. It won't pass but what a grand idea.
  13. by   Munch
    Quote from Wuzzie
    Sorry no! YOU decided to have kids and it is YOUR responsibility to make arrangements to take care of them and have back up plans for your back up plans. YOUR children have no right to impact MY life no matter what my life entails. If your job does not meet your needs then it is up to you to find one that does. It is not up to your single co-workers to re-schedule their lives around YOUR kids. It. Just. Isn't.

    That being said, I never have a problem picking up the slack for someone who has to care for their sick child. I feel for both. Unless it becomes a pattern like every Friday, Monday or day before a holiday.
    THIS..couldn't have put it better myself. Your priorities are yours and mine are mine who's to say yours are more important than mine because you have children? Its not my problem you have to leave to tend to your children. Its you're choice to have children and I chose NOT to have children because its something I am not willing to commit myself to. You're children are more important than my plans because YOU say so and my plans can be rearranged? I'm sorry but you're children are not going to be my inconvenience...no matter how "unimportant" you find my reasons to be. But as I said in an earlier post if anyone needs to leave early for whatever reason I don't mind covering as long as the favor is returned and its not every other day and as long as my kindness and willingness doesn't get taken advantage of. It goes for anyone if they want to leave early to meet a friend or pick up a child from daycare.

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