My best/worst experience happened in the maternity ward as well. They both occurred on the same admission as well. I have had all big babies, all over 8 lbs. My experience occurred after the vaginal birth of my second daugher, she weighed 8 lbs 14 oz and was my biggest baby. After her birth, I had hemorrhoids really bad!!! I looked like I was smuggling a baseball between my legs. I had a student nurse come in to check my lochia. When I showed her "what I had" she looked puzzled and said, "what is that?" I said, "my hemorrhoids". she said, "No really, what is it?" I said, "Well, really, It is my hemorrhoids". She said, "no that is not a hemorrhoid" and I said, no they are hemmorhoids She reached down with her bare finger and pushed on them. She said "no what is that?" I said, "please stop pushing on that it hurts, that is my butt and those are some big hemorrhoids." So she stopped palpating my hemorrhoids and went to tell her instructor, who happened to be a fellow alumnus, who had been 3 years ahead of me in school. The instructor asked if she could bring in the class to see my hemorrhoids. I said he!! no of course.
The best experience happened as well. My hemorrhoids were, huge, to say the least. And I was not even able to think of having a bowel movement. When I had to "go" on the second day, my efforts were severely impeded by pain, fear, and my big, big hemorrhoids. My nurse that evening was an older LPN and she was a very kind and gentle woman. When I told her my problem, I explained I was very afraid of having an enema due to the size of the hemorrhoids and she said, "don't be afraid, I will be very slow and careful. I promise I will not hurt you" This woman was very gentle and soft spoken, and I believed her. I am telling you, when she started to put the tip of the fleets in, I really could hardly feel it. She was very slow, and gently glided the tip in, and when she administered the enema, she did it very slowly and gently. She took her time, and the whole thing was completely painless. I did experience results, and was so grateful, I cried when I thanked her for taking time to be careful and gentle with me.
I later was very saddened to hear that they did away with LPN's in the maternity floor. I never forgot what a great job she did with this simple task.