Not a good nurse - uneasy about babies

  1. Before I begin, please do not judge me.

    As I mentioned on a previous thread, I have finally been accepted into an LPN program. Since I was little, I wanted to be a flight attendant first & a nurse second (I can hear the ringing of sexism in the background). Anyway, I also knew when I was small that I did not want children. I was an only child and I think that has something to do with it. I have never been crazy about kids(just born to 3yrs), but can handle them more now than 4 years ago. I have a wonderful marriage of almost 9 years & have no children. Last year, I had a "cut & snip" to make that decision final. I have no regrets, because I knew that I wanted to be a nurse, dedicate my life to my husband & career, & maybe one day open up a catholic nursing home in my area.

    With that being said, I am very good & can handle blood, vomit, body-parts, urine, operations, you name it. But, I have a hard time handling babies, mothers-to-be, anything to do with "birth". Now, I know that labor & delivery are a part of the nursing program. But, when my friend recently had a baby (my friends know my feelings about babies & pregnant women & that I will see them in about a year) I actually went to the hospital to see her. I literally ran passed the area where you see the infants and went to her room. I was there less than 5 minutes & turned white. Said my goodbyes, had this ringing in my ears & passed out in the hallway outside her room.

    Yeah, I have issues I know that. But when I was talking to my sister-in-laws friend who is an RN, she said I shouldn't become a nurse. What does that have to do w/me being a nurse? I will make a great nurse. I would like to work w/ the elderly, whose children have forgotten. With no kids, there will not be time off of work due to them being sick, school, daycare ect. Is she right? I know that that part of nursing school is going to be a VERY BIG challenge & somehow I am going to have to deal w/ that when the time comes.

    Thanks for reading
    Jenn
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  2. 27 Comments

  3. by   ShortFuse_LPN
    I think if you still want to become a nurse then you should go for it!! I have 3 children but I HATE OB nursing. There are plenty of other areas of nursing where you could work. The OB clinical will be something of a challenge for you but there is no way around it. Good luck in whatever decision you make.
  4. by   Gator,SN
    Jenn,
    Can you at least talk about birth or pregnancy without feeling ill? Peds and OB will be difficult but not impossible. You may want to try some therapy so that you can get through it. If you don't like babies or toddlers, then their are lots of other areas to work in that you will never come in contact with them.
    I had a friend in the nursing program who could not stand IV's.....she had hypnosis and it worked well for her. Now she can even start them without getting sick. Therapy worked for her.....
    Good luck to you!!!!!!
    Gator
  5. by   traumaRUs
    There are many options in nursing - go for it!!
  6. by   justjenn
    Thanks for your reply. Yeah, I can talk about it, but have a hard time with it. One of the ladies I work w/ LOVES to talk about the "birthing thing" during lunch & I want to smack her. I sometimes kick her under the table at lunch . :imbar .

    But yep, I need therapy. I will wait until AFTER I get out of school. I do not want that showing on my record.:imbar Plus, I am interested on how they will connect my feelings with "some childhood problem or my parents" :chuckle

    And yes, with my whole heart & soul, want to be a nurse!

    Jenn
  7. by   NsgTiger
    Definitely go for it! Though Peds and OB may be a challenge, they are still only a part of nursing. There are lots of older folks out there that need good nursing care. But yeah, I would seek a little professional counseling too if I were you!
  8. by   LauraF, RN
    Please don't forget that sometimes as a nurse you are there for the whole family. Just because you are in a nursing home doesn't mean there won't be alot of kids. When I did the nursing home thing as a CNA and LPN every weekend we were swomped with kids. During the week the preschool or grade school would be sing to the residents. Often at the end of the life cycle people like to reminisce and there are labor stories. But if you're like me, if you want to be a nurse bad enough you will find a way to deal with it.

    Good luck
  9. by   fab4fan
    I am not fond of OB at all...hated it as a student. In fact, I had an instructor tell me that she thought I had a "problem" because I was the only student who didn't cry seeing my first birth.

    I worked in Peds, and while I did well working w/ infants, they were not my favorite; I preferred older kids.

    Your feelings do not mean you won't be a good nurse; some people don't like psych, others don't like geriatrics...we all have our preferences. That's what makes each of us valuable.

    And if you do decide to get some therapy, it will not show up on any record....that is confidential info., and the school would not even know about it.
  10. by   sphinx
    I am the opposite, I like OB, not into geriatrics. So what? You can't like every area of nursing. Sure, passing out isn't good but if you can get through that rotation in clinical, when you pass your boards you can work wherever you want, no one will make you work with little ones!
    So go on, enjoy it!
  11. by   RN2B2005
    My grandmother, now 80, was an RCAF flight nurse in WWII, was briefly held captive as a German POW, designed and implemented a trauma nursing programme at the local college's School of Nursing, served as the senior nurse manager and OR head nurse at the regional medical centre for 20+ years, and retired in 1979 to head up the area's regional blood centre. In all those years, the only time she spent in peds and OB was walking down the hallway on the way to somewhere else.

    Guess what? Like you, she's uncomfortable around infants. Not that she dislikes children--she loves them--but they discomfit her. She made an excellent nurse, and you will too.
  12. by   psychonurse
    I had decided pretty much that I was not going to be one of those women that had 6 children and enjoyed it. When I was in the RN program I had pretty much decided that I didn't want to have children that I would just like to find a man to spend my golden years with. I started out not liking OB but the more that I got into it, I loved it. I mean the miricle of birth is great and I love to watch a family come together for that part. Many times it made me cry to see that part and I still knew that I wasn't going to have kids. You may want to have some counseling and like another post, it is confiedential, so the school won't know. Have a great experience going through school and enjoy the med/surg and psych part. I wouldn't work in a nursing home either but as we say many times, there is a type of nursing for us all. Good luck in your endevor.
  13. by   caroladybelle
    Peds and OB are but a small part of Nursing. And as far as your relative that is a nurse, discouraging you, that is pretty nervy.

    As an Oncology nurse (adult care), I see a med overflow ped case, usually asthma, once in a while and ocasionally a ped or two (usually unexpected neutropenia) once in a long while. And while children really should not visit the onco unit, exceptions are made (and frequently regretted). But it is not a common occurence.

    There are many fields of nursing that do not involve Peds/OB, except as overflow. You do need to recognize that you will have to deal with a ped/ob once in a while, just about everywhere, and be able to handle it.

    I would also see a shrink (sorry, not PC but I see one regularly and that's my term) regarding some of these feelings. I personally feel that ALL of US probably could benefit from a psych consult at times. The counselor could at least help you develop coping skills for handling these feelings - ahead of time. If you are not employed/insured or are underpaid - most areas have United Way/publicly funded clinics that charge on a sliding scale - It will be much cheaper and need not show up on any insurance/family MD records - it is actually better at times to start your involvement with counseling prior to having a well paying job or insurance, as it tends to keep it out of the work loop - if you so desire.
  14. by   SandyB
    Go for it! I changed my first diaper w/my schoolmates help in nursing school.! I'm an only child too and never wanted kids...and still don't want em and now happily unable to!
    In nursing school I was in the room for a birth...but I got dizzy and leaned on a wall and closed my eyes...ICK!
    I work psych and I've worked tele...no babies anywhere nearby...works for me!

    Liking kids has nothing to do with being a good nurse....just go for it.
    And close your eyes when you have to!

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