No more visitors EVER! - page 3
Well I had a hell of a night in OB, a sullen rude labor patient even after the epidural, and whining about keeping the moniter belts on- yes they HAVE to be there. Her SO pissed and moaned about it... Read More
Jul 27, '02It seems as if so many people are so rude these days. They think we are only there to do them a service. And when I say service I dont mean "would you like fries with that. People are ony in tune for "whats in it for me" But when we do take care of the patient that is so gratified it makes our day beautiful. Nursing is somewhat like the labor process... We do it... and forget how rough it was only to do it over and over again
Jul 27, '02OK, I've decided I'm way too much of a control freak to do well in OB, I'd fer sure get fired for being rude to demanding families.......my hat's off to you nurses who are responsible for 2 lives...Mom and baby....plus deal with entitled families and inlaws who demand to be part of the birthing plan.
I can't imaging delivering a baby and wanting 10 family members there...once I hit transition I snarled at my whole family to get out....only my hubby stayed with me in the delivery room...and he was tentative...asking if I wanted HIM out too a few times...LOL!
I miss the days of old too...when we could say 'no visitors now'. I resent the hotel atmosphere administration advertises.
Kara, I agree with those who said we often don't have the energy to argue much with these entitled visitors....it's easier to comply sometimes. When they complain and management won't back us, it's a no win situation, so we tend to tread lightly. If you have a supportive manager who is strong and will stand by the nurses when patients and families complain, be grateful....a manager like that is worth her/his weight in gold!
Mine tends to cave to patient/family, because of flack she gets from upper level management......(the old shyt rolls downhill theory.)Last edit by mattsmom81 on Jul 27, '02
Jul 27, '02Yep, I'm going back to do it again tonight. (sigh)
Kara- I guess you are right about the maid thing, but it seems just polite to offer the FOB a drink while I'm out getting the mom one. He has been stuck in that room for >12h too. But some people just take that as an offer to cater to the whole f-ing clan. He did make numerous requests that I justsaid no to, but after being quizzed on why not? for 20min, and a code, and wrassling with the eyerolling even when I explained my reasoning politely it was easier to toss the damn pillow at him. He was lucky I didn't smother him with it (I just didn't have the energy to resuscitate the jerk)
Jul 27, '02HOLY COW! and to think I even thought I wanted to be an OB nurse after I graduate!
I do remember some outrageous visitor scenarios when I was having my two kids. One poor woman had to endure a bus load of visitors all day and when meal time came around the kind and considerate husband had DOMINOS pizza delivered to the room to feed the hungry guests. One patient's family decided to save their money and bring their own food in and proceed to cook it up on hot plates in the room
Jul 27, '02Speaking as someone who hasn't been in the hospital for 6+ years, I think the visiting thing is way out of control.
I don't think NO family is the way to go, but it amazes me that some people can be so self centered. You know, concerned parents, attentive spouses, even adult children of sick parents. I can cope with that and realize that they may be a little crazed and weirded out by it all.
BUT...what really scalds me are visitors who, plain and simple, are visiting for entertainment value. They are there to be entertained. They think they are living their own private segment of "reality TV"--life in the L&D or ED or ICU. Nurses need to be empowered to eliminate these scabs and they need security back-up to do it.
I think the good old days of (ICU visiting hours) of 15 minutes of visiting 4 times per day was pretty controlling, but sensible nurses changed that when it needed to be, and it allowed patient care to get done and allowed the patient to catch a little rest.
We also have a generation of people who have no social skills: they gawk at other patient rooms; they openly stand and listen to professional conversations that concern them not at all AND they think that nurses are there to serve them. Much of this thinking HAS BEEN aided and abetted by "consumer friendly" administrators. "Chirp! Chirp! ER is PR!"
Somewhere lost is the notion as nurses (and docs) as someone who knows something about the topic at hand and when they say, "Time for visitors to leave!" there USED TO BE a notion that the "nurse knew best". And maybe that was patriarchy/matriarchy. Maybe a little well-placed partriarchy/matriarchy isn't all bad.
Jul 27, '02Every unit should be equipped with a big padded room, padded bench all the way around (big enough to sleep on), a few toilet stalls, a couple sinks and a shower. With a lock on the door. And a security guy available 24/7 to escort visitors to their "comfort room" until they agree to go home
Jul 27, '02Let's not forget those "well meaning" NON Visitors who phone you at all hours of the day... "I don't want to wake Johnny, but could you...?" Or, "can you tell us how Mrs. Lap Hyst is doing today?.... Oh NO, I don't want to TALK with her... I just want YOU to tell me (a complete stranger to you) everything about her surgery."
Had em yesterday.... Here is what I did on each occasion:
"Yes, I am trying to reach Mrs. Rectocele Repair and she's not answering her phone!!!".... Uhhh, she's sleeping at the moment, having JUST arrived from Recovery about 30 minutes ago. "Well, could you tell her I'm calling?".... Uhhh, SURE.... just as soon as she awakens. "But I'm calling LONG DISTANCE!!!".... Uhhh, How nice, I'm sure she'll be so sorry to hear she missed your call, may I leave your name so she'll know? :: CLICK ::
"I'm calling about Mrs. Bladder Suspension... how is she?" Uhhh, She's doing quite well, in fact, she's awake in her room right now, I'll transfer your call to her room...."OH!! No, don't do that, I just want to know how she's doing...." Well, I believe she'll be the best person to talk about that.... "No, I just want an update... can you tell me....?" No, but I'm sure she'd love to receive a phone call. "No, THANK YOU, just tell her Miss Nosey Beach called." Yes, ma'am, I'll do that.
"I wanted some information about Mr T. URP??" Sure, I'll transfer your call... :: transfers call :: <evil grin>
"I'm calling about Mrs. TVH BSO... can you tell me how she's doing?" Uhhh, and YOU ARE???? "Oh!! I'm her sister in law"...Uhhh, well she's sleeping at the moment, having just returned from Recovery. "But the surgery went ok didn't it?" Uhhh, you'll have to ask her that yourself when the two of you are able to talk. "But, I'm here with her 81 year old Mother, you understand...." Uhhh, yes, I do understand, however I have to maintain patient confidentiality. "Well, can we talk with her then?" Uhhh, not at the moment, as I said... she just arrived from RECOVERY and is still very sleepy from the anesthesia.
"Hi, I'm the sister of Mr Globe Rupture... can you update me on his condition?" Uhhh... He's sleeping. "OH! Well, can you tell me the latest?" Uhhh... He'll be following up with his Eye Dr in the morning. (Next morning)...."So what's the latest?" Uhhh, he's still without vision in his left eye (Patient gave me permission to give this info out)... "So when should I call you back for more information?" (Besides NEVER??)...Uhhh, well he will see the Eye Doctor again in the morning..."Oh, so I should call back later this afternoon?".... Uhhh, no, you should try calling (or better yet, why not just come HERE and sit with the poor man) late morning tomorrow. "TOMORROW?!?!?"... Uhhh yes, tomorrow, we won't know anything more until then, after the doctor has seen him. "you WONT????" Uhhh... no ma'am... I'm a Nurse, not a psychic. By the way, Mr Globe Rupture will need assistance with travel back to his home tomorrow after his eye appointment, as the Dr said he will be discharged. Would you like to be here in the morning to take him home? "Well... I WORK!!!! And besides, I live an hour away!!!" :: shaking my head ::
So much for CARING family members wanting to be there for family....
PeaceLast edit by Fgr8Out on Jul 27, '02
Jul 27, '02We are expected to give excellent care to our patients and excellent service (Like at Nordstom's) to patients and visitors at all times. The floor nuses are d*mned if they do and d*mned if they don't: Visitors complain they didn't get what they wanted (to wake up the patient) and patients complain the nurses don't "provide them with rest".
This is a script facility "Is there anything else I can do for you? I have the time."
The suits like him have no clue what nursing is about.
This is what people come to the hospital for:
"So meanwhile she's stopped dilating, ctx are irregular, FHR baseling is up 20 from what it was, no accels, intermittent decels of all types, and variability sometimes not so hot...hmmm. "
If service is what it's about, they'd go to a hotel.
Jul 27, '02Kudos to you who do OB. I worked in OB for 8 years. It's not getting any easier, I can see. One of the things that visitors never seemed to recognize was the infection control aspect. The more people in the room, the more chance that the newborn will get something transmitted to them too early. Course, yes, visitors don't recognize that. It's a "free show." Better than the movies. And something to crow about later. Curious....what kind ofdo you carry these days, working in OB?
Jul 27, '02Visitors! My favorite subject. NOT! I could just scream sometimes. I work Med-Surg in a small county hospital. Everybody knows everybody (or probably related) and they call or visit often. It can get really messy with some of our Amish families who have upwards of 14 or 15 children/siblings who all come to visit at once. I had a pt one time who was given a pretty grim prognosis. This family hovered over this poor pt non-stop. I mean, they were in the pt's face 3 feet, 10 people at a time. The pt would then have major anxiety attacks that would require IV diazepam to control. After 2 days of this nonsense I kicked everyone out and put a sign on the door that said "2 visitors at a time, 15 minutes each." The son called the pt's family doctor and told the doctor that the nurses were taking over on the med-surg floor. (What a neat concept ). I got the funniest call from the doctor's office nurse. I told her I had taken all I was going to take and if the doctor would give me an order to limit the visitors I would be more than happy to write. The doctor thought the company was too overbearing also, and we compromised at 4 visitors at a time. At least I had a doctor who was willing to back me up and say that the visitors were too many and were distressing the patient (not to mention the
Anymore, I pretty much do what I think is best for my patient and to heck with the visitors. I have a duty to take care of my patients first. If the suits don't like it, tough. Patients don't come to the hospital to entertain, they come because they are ill, need surgery, or they are having a baby. The best thing that could happen to these suits who are making up the rules is let them become a pt and then have the visitors come in non-stop 24/7. After a few of them get to experience the joys of open visitation, maybe things would change. I doubt it though.
Jul 27, '02*sigh* yep i can relate canoe......it is the hardest part about OB is dealing w/the entitled visitors and the primadonna doctors. it gets harder all the time. really disgusting, if you think about it.
Jul 27, '02Its the stories like above that makes you really wonder why we love this job at all
Admire you all for tolerating this - no wonder there is a nurse shortage.
Jul 28, '02You know what they teach us in school? That we should call patients CLIENTS. I totally disagree with that. The patients are constantly complaining that someone was rude to them or mistreated them and of course they exaggerate tenfold. I had a lady tell me the other day, " The service here is terrible, " I told her, "That's because you're in a busy hospital...not a hotel. There are people here who are a lot sicker than you and we need to attend to them first so they don't DIE," That shut her up. I also had a lady once who rang the call light to tell me, " I will have my pillow fluffed now," I said, " Would you like a mint on it as well"? I felt like fluffing the pillow with her face. Don't even get me started. I just got home from work and all the pts and their families sucked ass tonight. When they're good...they're really, really good. But when they're bad, they are HORRID.