Night Shift and Phone Calls from Family - Vent

Nurses General Nursing

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When I switched jobs at the beginning of November I also switched from days to nights. I have adjusted well and like it for the most part. Unfortunately, my mother has still not figured it out yet. I've tried several times to explain it to her that I go to bed at about 10 am after I get home from work, yet she still calls at 3-4 pm on days after I've worked expecting me to be up. She tells me I "need to get up and move around." This comment infuriates me!! :angryfire I need at least 8 hours of sleep to be able to do that! Granted, I was depressed after I graduated and I know she was worried about me but it has gradually gotten better after I started my new job.

I would turn my phone off but I live by myself and I'm worried that there will be an emergency and no one would be able to get a hold of me. I've thought about calling her at 4 am but for some reason I feel bad. Maybe I just need to suck it up and do it so that she gets the point. She's a teacher's aide...it's too bad it's Christmas break. I think I'd like it better if I called on a day that she worked :devil:

Specializes in CVICU, PACU, OR.
My kids and good friends have my cell phone number. I turn off my home phone and bring the cell into my room with me. If there is an emergency, they can call my cell. Since I started doing that, I started sleeping much better, not worrying that someone was trying to get hold of me.

Right now I only have a cell phone. I've thought about getting a home phone so I could turn off the cell phone. That way if she couldn't get a hold of me on the cell phone and needed me she could call the home number. Hopefully she would understand Thanks for the advice!

Specializes in CVICU, PACU, OR.
Do you have a friend or neighbor you can trust who understands "night shift?"

If so, give that person's number out as your emergency contact number. If something happens and waking you up is necessary, that person can come and wake you up. (You could also give a spare key to your emergency contact).

Then turn your phone off!! If you don't have voice mail that will pick up even with your phone off, get it.

You cannot continue to work nights if you can't get reasonable sleep, and you will never be able to make some people understand what "night shift" means.

When I worked nights, for quite a while, I turned the phone off and put a sign on the door: "Night worker, do not knock!" I had couple of relatives get offended but tough! (One was my SIL who said "I work nights too!" because she did the dishes and mopped the floor after dinner. Her usual bedtime was 9 PM!)

Since I'm married my husband was my emergency contact. In several years' time he never had to wake me up.

Of course calling the repeat offender at 2 or 3 AM might work well too!! Be sure to tell her that she needs to "get up and move around!"

Good luck!

I don't know anyone within the area that could get a hold of me because my friends and family are so spread out. It will be so much easier when my fiance and I move in together in 6 months because he understands. Right now he lives 2 hours away because he is still in college. Thanks for the great advice though!

Specializes in obstetrics(high risk antepartum, L/D,etc.

When I moved 1000 miles from family, and the folks were not too well, I couldn't sleep with the phone turned off, as I was afraid I would miss something. The best investment I made was an answering machine. I could turn off my phone, and be sure that I would get my messages as soon as I woke up. I haven't worked nights in years (and I still miss them!) but I depend on my trusty answering machine. Even if I go out to dinner, I don't miss anything. Do you get the idea that I might be a little snoopy? :innerconf :bow:

Do it all. Phone off, sign on door (if you think no one will use the info nefariously), and CALL THE OFFENDER IN THE MIDDLE OF HER NIGHT. Even if it's your Mom.

I had the same problem with my mom. I repeatedly reminded her that my day was her night. Eventually I resorted to calling her at 3am from work and coyly asking her why she was still asleep. She finally got the message. I know that it may be an unreasonable request to completely turn off the phone, but try turning the ringer off, and keeping the volume on the message machine low enough to be heard. You will totally miss the telemarketers (they hang up when they get a machine) and your family can still get you in an emergency. Sleep well!;)

Specializes in Med/Surg.

When I worked 3-11p I would not get to bed before 0300-0400...mom would call at 0630 with "ohhh did I wake you? I thought you would be up"...ummm nooo why would I be up I just went to bed...LOL...then when I worked nights she would call around 0900 or so...then I could not go back to sleep...I finally started calling her in the middle of the night with..."ohhhh are you sleeping??"...she finally got the hint...well now I have gone and done it and switched to days...been on days for 3 months now...no mom no more nights...LOL....have to get up at 0530 to get to work on time..which means I am usually in bed by 2100 the latest....2300-2330...ring.....ohhh did I wake you?? LOL gotta love mom.......

I agree though...shut off your phone and get the rest you need. Nights is very hard to do without the proper sleep....

An answering machine is a wonderful device! I have had one for so many years that I can't imagine living without one. What I found works best is the tape one of my son's friends made for me that says (in a nice deep voice that none of my friends or my employer recognized) "You have reached XXX-XXX-XXXX. At the tone, please leave your message and a phone number where you can be reached." You will notice that it doesn't say who will call back or WHEN. And, yes, there were times when I had my son's friend make the return call for me, saying simply, "You called?" A couple of calls like that were usually all it took to, shall we say "educate," some of my formerly clueless callers.

I never had a problem with family calling, work has been my problem. I finally threatened everybody with a friendly 3am wake up call to show them how it feels and they stopped. I definitely would turn the phone off!!! If its a big emergency somebody will be banging on your door.

An answering machine is a wonderful device! I have had one for so many years that I can't imagine living without one. What I found works best is the tape one of my son's friends made for me that says (in a nice deep voice that none of my friends or my employer recognized) "You have reached XXX-XXX-XXXX. At the tone, please leave your message and a phone number where you can be reached." You will notice that it doesn't say who will call back or WHEN. And, yes, there were times when I had my son's friend make the return call for me, saying simply, "You called?" A couple of calls like that were usually all it took to, shall we say "educate," some of my formerly clueless callers.

ROFL! I had one that said, "We're sorry, but the number you have dialed xxx-xxx-xxxx, has been disconnected. No further information is available about xxx-xxx-xxxx" Even had the correct beep before the message. People who knew me knew that it was a fake and that if they waited they could leave a message. I kinda wish I still had that message. It sure cut down on the telemarketers!

Specializes in all things maternity.

I work 12 hour nights with a fair amount of overtime. I have trouble sleeping on a routine basis anyway so unneccessary phone calls during my sleep time was becoming a critical issue for me.

DH is semi-retired and is up and around the house most of the day so we started turning off the ringers on the house phones and forwarding all the calls to his cell phone. My cell phone is next to my bed for emergencies only. So, he picks up on all calls and only wakes me if it is neccessary. Very few ppl have my cell number so I rarely get calls during the day. This is the best method I have used. It works very well for me. Also, if your state has a DO NOT CALL list to keep telemarketers from calling you, try it. We did that too and it really does help.

:balloons:

Vickie

Specializes in Emergency.

Its not an emergency unless the smoke detector is going off or the police/fire department are breaking down the door.

Rj

Specializes in PCU, Home Health.

I have a manager who said that she had to call her mom several times at 3am just to say- "Hi- oh are you asleep? I was just at walmart and wondered what you were doing..." She said it took a few times for mom to get the point- but she did eventually.

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