New job-First baby??

  1. Okay, I don't know why this matters so much but here goes...
    I just started at the hospital in May and I LOVE my job, but I am newly married and really want to start a family. I have decided to go off BCP but am so concerned this may be a bad time to begin our family. I know I can go back after maternity leave but I wonder if I will be looked down upon, criticized etc because I am new. This probably shouldn't even matter to me but I am somewhat of a worry wort. I just wanted a little feedback on the subject. Thanks!:imbar
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  2. 14 Comments

  3. by   SmilingBluEyes
    Well only YOU can make this HUGE decision. I have been of the firm belief, "there is NO good time to plan a baby". Having had two children, I can say with even more conviction that this is without doubt, the truth.

    Really, you will find reasons why not all the time. If your health is optimal, and you are young, I would do it sooner rather than later cause as we age, infertility becomes a rather large and often difficult-to-treat issue. So many women put off childbearing for YEARS to establish careers, only to be begging for help w/fertility problems later on. It is a weighty issue; seems to me, you have made your choice. Good for you!

    Talk things over with your manager if you are that concerned. It would be good to hammer out the what-if's now and it is likely he/she would appreciate your candor. But that is up to you....not being in YOUR situation, I am not sure I can safely advise what is best. I just know were it me, I would not worry excessively about the job; family always has and always will come first and there will be other opportunities if this one falls through, which is unlikely.

    DO WHAT IS BEST FOR YOU AND YOUR S/O; the rest will take care of itself in due time Forget what the HECK others MAY think...this is YOUR life. Be strong in your convictions NOW, cause you will need that strength 1000x over when raising your kids. On that, you can Trust ME.:kiss
    Last edit by SmilingBluEyes on Sep 22, '02
  4. by   ernurse728
    I can't see why you feel you would be looked down upon...when I got pregnant with my first baby I was newly married and had been at my job for about 4months. My coworkers were so excited for me. I had no problems with my maternity leave and came back 8 wks after my daughter was born.
  5. by   shabookitty
    I am glad that Buffalolpn posed this question...lately it has weighed on my mind as well. I am 3 mts. shy from being 30 yrs old...and 3 mts. shy from starting nursing school. I want to start trying to have a baby as soon as I have completed school. This puts me around the 32 yr old mark. And my husband will be 39. This scares me to death. I too have wondered how my employer will feel about a new hire taking maternity leave. Yet, I feel that time is not in my favor due to my age. I will not let my job effect my decision...but it does kind of make you think...will I have one after the baby?
  6. by   imenid37
    hey follow your heart. been there done that. no good time is as true as true can be. i am not sure how old you are. i had my first just 7-8 months out of school. she's a freshman in h.s. now. i am glad to be where i am at in life right now. 37. a nurse for 15 yrs. my 3 girls are 14,12, and almost 10. it was rough, but i really think being a mom, esp. a working mom is tough any time. having my kids lead to my interest in ob which is really what i love to do and i am glad my family life guided my working life the way it did.
    the fact that you love your job probably means you are pretty darned good at it and you can come back after the baby and pick up there.

    best of luck to you whatever you decide! don't forget as you enter motherhood's hallowed halls, it's fraught w/ the advice of fools and wise women. as you contemplate conception, some will say you are too old if you wait, too young now, not financially set now, too concerned about having material things if you wait a couple of years, etc. so the point is... you can't please everyone, so you may as well do what you want. as a mom you will recieve more advice than you can imagine. my advice... ignore it (with a smile on your face of course).
  7. by   BuffaloLPN
    Thanks guys! I had always dreamed of marrying and starting a family young, and luckily I met my soulmate early on. I am 25, he is 27 and I too feel like thee will never really be enough money, time etc.
  8. by   nimbex
    hey buffalo, I lived and worked in buffalo just a few years ago. From memory, all the major hospitals are unionized there which will afford you the added protection to ease your mind.

    Your JOB and family are two different aspects of your life which mingle together. You can have both... Having a baby being new may cause some rustyness when you return. But that is it.


    I started nursing school at trocaire college, the day AFTER my premie son came home from the hospital.. THe instructors told me I'd never make it... don't waste my time.... I graduated with a 3.92 and never missed a day of school or missed a day enjoying my family.


    good luck, don't listen to ANYONE who tells you not to follow your heart.:kiss
  9. by   NicuGal
    Why would it make a difference? Just make sure you have worked enough hours to qualify for FMLA We have girls that come, get married, finish orientation and start families right away. Just another excuse for a party :lol

    Good Luck!
  10. by   Gomer
    RE: FMLA You have to be employed for 1 full year to qualify. But in this day and age of nursing shortages I doubt you would have any trouble getting a job. The question is: will you want to?
  11. by   SmilingBluEyes
    FAMILY FIRST...career 2nd. get used to that idea now and you will do better. Do what is best for YOU and your family. Job can wait.
  12. by   colleen10
    Hi Buffalo LPN and everyone else,

    I am really glad that you posted this question because after Nursing School etc. I will be about 30 and ready to start my family. I have allready been married a little over 2 years.

    My family will come first but I have allready worked in businesses (not medical) that have fired women, looked down on women, and not promoted women because they have had children and so I am a little wary of the reactions of any employer. Even my current employer told me that "they will not teach me anything about my job because more than likely I'll just get pregnant and leave anyway. So why bother."

    I am also worried about what co-workers will think if I get a job and am only there a short while then leave to start a family only to go back part time. Feel kind of like I'm not pulling my weight or something.

    I am hoping that since Nursing is a female dominated profession there will be more understanding.
  13. by   P_RN
    http://www.eeoc.gov/facts/fs-preg.html

    It's been illegal since 1978 to discriminate (Colleen10's employer's refusal to train) on the basis of pregnancy.

    You would have a real case should they actually Do this.
  14. by   Momto3RN
    Originally posted by SmilingBluEyes
    FAMILY FIRST...career 2nd. get used to that idea now and you will do better. Do what is best for YOU and your family. Job can wait.

    Amen Hallelujah!

    I am 31 yo and had my first child five months after RN graduation two years ago. I had worked at my current facility only a year as an LPN. I worried about losing my skills, job flexibility, etc since I wanted to stay at home with my kids.

    I shouldn't have worried. My facility has been VERY flexible. I now work an avg of one 12 hr shift a week at PRN wage, which keeps my license current, my skills up, and leaves me plenty of time with my family.

    Last note: Childhood does not last long, but a nursing career can span decades! I think you're making a great decision to start a fmaily, Buffalo!!

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