New Grad and Patient's Who Hit Close to Home

Nurses General Nursing

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Hi Everyone,

I recently starting work as a float pool nurse as a part of my new grad orientation I have started on a neuro unit.

This past winter my boyfriend was in a serious snowboarding accident (fractures of his spine.. had spinal fusion surgery). I stayed with him in hospital until he came home.

Anyway, I got a patient assignment of a young girl who had been in a serious MVA. (Her doc actually wrote it's a mircle she is alive). Her boyfriend has been staying over. After meeting him and her and reading their story I started to cry at the nursing station. I excused myself and went in our report room. I just couldn't help but think this could have been my boyfriend and I (who now he is currently ok and walking)..

I want to ask how do other nurses handle these types of days?? I am sure everyone who has had a patient that has hit close to home..

Am I being crazy, crying on shift??

Thank you for your responses :)

Specializes in Pedi.

I've had a few of those experiences, being a brain tumor survivor myself and having started my career in pediatric neurology, neurosurgery and neuro-oncology. I once took care of a child with a tumor very similar to my own... a tumor that isn't supposed to be fatal but his was unusually aggressive and it started to grow rapidly and ended up taking his very young life. My first shift back after he died, I was assigned to another brain tumor patient who happened to be a 17 year old girl who was from my town/went to my high school. I was a 17 year old senior in high school when I was diagnosed. She, also, was dying. And did I mention this was all happening exactly one year after I had an MRI that had revealed a possible recurrence and that it was the end of the worst year of my life? That was a particularly horrible time.

Specializes in Med/surg, Onc.

Learning that fine line between caring and burnout is a tough line to walk I think. Having other people to help you and guide you to find that line is definitely something that is important. My instructor sat with me and we talked about some of those things, like leaving work at work, when you walk out the door you have to leave the day/night behind so that you can go and live your life and not be "stuck" at work on your day off.

When I worked on an oncology hospice floor of a hospital and a patient would pass and the family would cry, all I could do was put myself in their shoes and the tears would come. I would also think of those I've lost in my life and a time when I almost passed in a situation when I was younger. It would set me in a funk for a day or so. But at the same time, it would make me appreciate who I do still have in my life and that I am still alive and full functioning. On one hand, I would almost go through a bit of survival guilt, but on the other hand I would mostly just be grateful for all I have in life. I sometimes wish the negative people in my life could experience what we healthcare workers experience at times so they could see just how wonderful life really is and appreciate every minute of it without complaining of (what I see as very petty) things on a day to day basis. But then I remember, it takes a very special person to do what we all do day after day.

Specializes in LTC Rehab Med/Surg.

When I was a brand new nurse, my first job was working in a nursing home.

There were several Down Syndrome residents nearing 60 yrs old, all with Alzheimers. I saw my daughter in their faces. The chronic sorrow thing kicked into high gear, and I cried almost every day for weeks.

Until I didn't.

You DO grow a thicker skin. Eventually.

Specializes in Psych.

When I started my current job I had a few of these moments. I have a background in adult psych. I also have bipolar disorder. Working with mentally ill adults has been wonderful. At times I think I am able to be MORE therapeutic with them because of that. I push a little harder with a lot of the pts. I know many of them are capable of a lot more but choose to let their illness hold them back (those are the ones I push)

I now work inpt. The children and adolescents were HARD at first. I had a really hard time as a teen. Horribly bullied and that's when my depressive symptoms showed their ugly face. I contemplated suicide......a LOT. I see these young teen girls come in, some of them SO much remind me of myself when I was that age that it was heartbreaking. I would go between omg if I didn't have a better family I would have ended up like this, or anger that my parents DIDN'T put me in a program like this so I could have gotten treatment earlier. And then of course there are the children with the unspeakable abiuse histories.

I had to learn how to get over that REAL fast or I would not have lasted. I still care of course, but have developed a professional detachment. Im not going to help them by feeling bad for them. The kids are my favorite assignment.now.

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