First of all there is nothing wrong with you as a person or a nurse.
The fact is that you have to big of a patient load and that in its self leads to the emotions and thoughts you are having.
You are not super nurse and neither is anyone else. In order to give care to that many patients you have to learn to focus on the tasks and in some ways forget about the patients to some extent.
This is the reality that you are facing and not the idealistic vision of nursing school
It is hard to give up that vision of being there for everyone that needs you physically and spiritually at all times that they need. But because of the patient load and acuities sometimes you have too.
This is not your fault and it is out of your control unless you refuse to take that many patients. Not even the best or experienced nurse can be every where and be all things to all patients all the time.
With high patient loads there is no one to yell for help except in emergencies. Everyone else is just as busy.
One thing you can do to help ensure that you have all your tasks completed is to write them down and then check them off as you complete them.
Did you forget the piggy back or just hung it late?
Believe it or not there are a lot of medications given by other nurses that are late. They are usually marked as given on time though. Is this right? no. But it is the reality. There is so much to do and very little help that it just happens.
If you walk into a patients room and they have soiled themselves and their bed, do you just walk out and pass the rest of the meds. No. You clean them up and their bed and many times without help. Then that will put you any where up to 15 minutes or more behind in your meds. It does not take much to make given meds as a late thing especially with that many patients.
Relax and do the very best you can. You are only one person with two hands and one heart.