Please see someone qualified to treat your emotional ills, a psychiatrist, counselor, or NP. Your history of depression may well be compounded by post traumatic stress or inability to cope with all that's been thrown at you in the last year. And in that case, you might need counseling in addition to your antidepressant or you may need a different medication regime.
When you are already suffering from depression and then other things happen, you have much less ability to cope with the new stressors; with each new stressor, it gets harder and harder. This doesn't mean you can't get well; I hope it helps explain why the past year may have been so difficult.
I know that getting treatment is expensive. But leaving this untreated is like leaving diabetes untreated...there is the potential for a poor outcome if you don't.
When you are down in a hole, you really can't pull yourself up by your bootstraps.
You need a helping hand or two to help you see the light again.
Another poster suggested that you count your blessings (as will many other well-meaning people), and that is all very well, but you have to be well enough to see what they are
before you can do that. At this point you just sound overwhelmed.
Once you are feeling better, there ARE nursing jobs
that do not require heavy lifting or bending or stooping. Nursing is not just a strong back.