need help for severe depression - page 7

I am an RN that lives for my career. I am now faced with the probability of losing the career I wanted for so long & worked so hard for.Severe depression has officially taken over. This past year has... Read More

  1. by   ARNPsomeday
    (((((needs help))))) from another who has touched bottom and survived. now i also have a hearing loss with which i'm coping well, and i'm fighting with all my strength to finish my second semester in adn.

    the others have offered some excellent thoughts. let me add this: cognitive behavioral therapy can be priceless because you can change the script and learn to stop telling yourself bad things. sounds dumb but it is true and the results can nudge you into life again. very best of wishes.


    edited to remove bold lettering
    Last edit by ARNPsomeday on Apr 16, '05
  2. by   GingerSue
    Rhonda - is there somewhere around that you could spend time doing what you enjoy - that painting of ceramics or making gemstone jewellery - these activities that you mentioned you enjoy? I really liked your idea of a bottle of ambition.
  3. by   chadash
    Quote from ARNPsomeday
    (((((needs help))))) from another who has touched bottom and survived. Now I also have a hearing loss with which I'm coping well, and I'm fighting with all my strength to finish my second semester in ADN.

    The others have offered some excellent thoughts. Let me add this: cognitive behavioral therapy can be priceless because you can change the script and learn to stop telling yourself bad things. Sounds dumb but it is true and the results can nudge you into life again.

    Very best of wishes.



    are there any good self-help books out there on cognitive behavioral therapy that you could suggest?
  4. by   live4today
    Quote from Dixielee
    We all have crisis in our lives. You just have to learn to rise above and get on with life. You are only 38 years old according to your profile. You have many, many good years left. I have never suffered from clinical depression, so I do not have a personal understanding of how debilitating it can be. But I have suffered adversity, as most of us have. If you think you are the only one, the you just aren't paying attention. Have you seen the guy who had to cut off his own arm because it was caught under a boulder while hiking? I can't remember his name, but I saw him on a talk show and he has written a book. He was thanking God for his affliction because it made him more aware of the fragility of life, and helped him lead a fuller, more "aware" life.

    You mentioned a family member having a fatal stroke. As we get older, more and more precious members of our families are going to die. My sister was killed by a cougar last year and we found her body, that was not exactly a part of my life I would like to relive, but life goes on. That is a fact of life, as a nurse you should understand that clearly. As far as your FIL having bypass surgery, did he die? Most folks who have bypass surgery return to normal, active lives, my husband did. How is your son doing now after surgery? If he is 19, he was probably healthy enough to get thru things well. As far as your back surgery goes...there are many nursing jobs that are not quite as demanding physically as others. Search them out.

    Maybe your primary problem stems from your opening sentence, saying you are an RN who lives for her career. Nursing is a job. We are numbers on a schedule to management. If you happen to be able to find some enjoyment and fullfillment in your job, then that is a bonus. That is what keeps us going. But as far as living for it.....there are too many other things to live for. Live for your family, your grandchildren, yourself, the ability to travel and enjoy nature. Live for God, make yourself available to others who may need encouragement. Live for the sake of being able to see the sunrise every morning. Live to hear a baby coo. Live for puppy kisses. Live because that is why we are on the earth, but for Heaven's sake....don't live for nursing!
    Well....don't hold back Dixielee. Show a little less heart why don't you.
    I'm sure you meant well. Some people think the old "pull yourself up by the bootstraps" and "suck it up...move on...get over it" mentality is the medicine to dish out to people who seek out others advice for help. I'm sure this is what you meant to do. Perhaps that's what has always worked in your life, or with your family or circle of friends, but not everyone can handle this "confront the bear and get over it mentality".
  5. by   Aellyssa
    hi rhonda,
    this article just came in to me today
    http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/502535?src=mp
    it certainly advocates cognitive behavioural therapy as a good way to help you overcome this.
    blessed be,
    aellyssa
  6. by   Liddle Noodnik
    Originally Posted by Dixielee
    We all have crisis in our lives. You just have to learn to rise above and get on with life. You are only 38 years old according to your profile. You have many, many good years left. I have never suffered from clinical depression, so I do not have a personal understanding of how debilitating it can be. But I have suffered adversity, as most of us have. If you think you are the only one, the you just aren't paying attention. Have you seen the guy who had to cut off his own arm because it was caught under a boulder while hiking? I can't remember his name, but I saw him on a talk show and he has written a book. He was thanking God for his affliction because it made him more aware of the fragility of life, and helped him lead a fuller, more "aware" life.

    You mentioned a family member having a fatal stroke. As we get older, more and more precious members of our families are going to die. My sister was killed by a cougar last year and we found her body, that was not exactly a part of my life I would like to relive, but life goes on. That is a fact of life, as a nurse you should understand that clearly. As far as your FIL having bypass surgery, did he die? Most folks who have bypass surgery return to normal, active lives, my husband did. How is your son doing now after surgery? If he is 19, he was probably healthy enough to get thru things well. As far as your back surgery goes...there are many nursing jobs that are not quite as demanding physically as others. Search them out.

    Maybe your primary problem stems from your opening sentence, saying you are an RN who lives for her career. Nursing is a job. We are numbers on a schedule to management. If you happen to be able to find some enjoyment and fullfillment in your job, then that is a bonus. That is what keeps us going. But as far as living for it.....there are too many other things to live for. Live for your family, your grandchildren, yourself, the ability to travel and enjoy nature. Live for God, make yourself available to others who may need encouragement. Live for the sake of being able to see the sunrise every morning. Live to hear a baby coo. Live for puppy kisses. Live because that is why we are on the earth, but for Heaven's sake....don't live for nursing!
    DixieLee - I think you got most of this right except for the tone of voice and the "learn to rise above" part. Otherwise, good advice and feedback, none of us wants to be crippled by life...

    Except, unfortunately, there's that chemical imbalance thing.

    Not your fault that you don't get that part but please, would you try? It's really important if you want to help someone.

    I am SO SO SORRY to hear about your sister, my goodness! And to survive the grief and horror as well as you have - I imagine you were able to "just get tough" - I for one, as a person with depression, envy that ability.

    Should things change later on DixieLee, please, reach out here or somewhere - Some people just go thru life ok and I sincerely hope you continue to do so!

    Bless you!
  7. by   steelcityrn
    "WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE" IS A GOOD BOOK FOR STARTERS AND AS FAR AS DIXILEE'S COMMENTS, I REALLY LIKE IT! IT WAS NOT COLD AT ALL. IT WAS JUST WHAT A WOMAN HER AGE SHOULD BE ABLE TO HANDLE EVEN WITH DEPRESSION. I JUST CAME FROM A PATIENT TODAY THAT WAS PREVIOUSLY ADMITTED FOR SUICIDAL IDEATION A WEEK AGO. BELIEVE ME, ONE THING YOU DO NOT DO IS SUGAR COAT OR BABY SOMEONE THAT AGE. THEY CAN EXCEPT EDUCATED FACTS ABOUT THEIR DISEASE.





    Quote from chadash
    are there any good self-help books out there on cognitive behavioral therapy that you could suggest?
  8. by   ARNPsomeday
    Quote from chadash
    are there any good self-help books out there on cognitive behavioral therapy that you could suggest?
    I don't know, chadash, and I'm sorry. I underwent group therapy for survivors of childhood sexual abuse and that was where I had the fortune of learning. edited: Un-learning, actually.

    Maybe you could look for something similar? Just please, check out the therapist and be sure they are bona fide.

    Best to all who are there now. You are not alone. Hugs.
    Last edit by ARNPsomeday on Apr 16, '05
  9. by   ARNPsomeday
    Quote from needs help
    I have now affically lost my job. [snip!] ...will try to let you know, in a SHORT note what the results are. Thanks to you all for the support and encouragement. I will try to keep my updates shorter in the future so as to not bother anyone. THANKS AGAIN RHONDA
    I'm sorry you don't have that job anymore because of the income, but the time away from work might be a blessing.

    (((Needshelp))) I apologize beforehand if I am being too forward, but here goes: this time could be a blessing if you use it wisely. Don't be pig-headed like me. Be quiet. Sit down with your self. In the quietness explore every thing that you are. Get in touch with yourself again like when you were younger. The madness of running on worry all the time keeps us from healing ourselves. As you go more deeply, appreciate it all. Please say kind things to you. Find that one place inside that nobody can touch. It might be like a small cave where a single flame burns brightly. Nobody can put that flame out. Let its warmth and energy spread outward until you can tap into it. The light is powerful and it can dispel the darkness. Let it shine bit by bit. You will emerge a stronger and healed woman.

    When you reach the bottom, put your feet down and push off real hard.


  10. by   hopey
    Quote from needs help
    I am an RN that lives for my career. I am now faced with the probability of losing the career I wanted for so long & worked so hard for.Severe depression has officially taken over. This past year has been really awful. it started with a severe fatal stoke in the family,then I had 3 herniated disks in my cervical spine and ended up with fusion, then an emergency quadruple bypass on my father in law (where I ended up the main caregiver), My son (19) had recurring bouts of undiagnosed pancreatitis followed by gallbladder surgery, I had a car wreck that left me with a herniatd disk in my lumbar spine and will probable not be able to return to my job. top that off with a disabled spouse for the last 6years. so my income was the only one. now that doesn't exist.I don't know what to do anymore. i can't seem to get anything done, nor do i want to.antidepressants don't seem to be helping now.anyone have any ideas???
    Hello, I just recently read your thread on allnurses. Wow, you had alot on your plate! Are things better for you now? There is nothing worse that a million bad things happening all at once. Eventhough you are suffering depression, you sound so strong! You have made it this far; dont loose hope! Continue your career if that is what you feel you need to do. Forgive me if I offend you with this quote- " I can do ALL things through Christ Jesus who strengthens me."
  11. by   NoCrumping
    Guess what , Rhonda? .... Nursing will always be there for you. Right now, please take care of yourself, mind and body. Just by the writing of your post proves your strong enough to overcome it... I would probably not be able to even talk about it!!! Take time, let the antidepressants work a bit... you might need to try another.... or you might get to a point where you dont even need them.... but in the mean time.... please try to stop feeling guilty.... thats why nursing is good.... its always here.... when your ready.....and you'll be better than ever. In my opinion, your setbacks, when overcome, will make you a better, stronger nurse. prayers and hugs to you.....
  12. by   mercyteapot
    Quote from Dixielee
    We all have crisis in our lives. You just have to learn to rise above and get on with life. You are only 38 years old according to your profile. You have many, many good years left. I have never suffered from clinical depression, so I do not have a personal understanding of how debilitating it can be. But I have suffered adversity, as most of us have. If you think you are the only one, the you just aren't paying attention. Have you seen the guy who had to cut off his own arm because it was caught under a boulder while hiking? I can't remember his name, but I saw him on a talk show and he has written a book. He was thanking God for his affliction because it made him more aware of the fragility of life, and helped him lead a fuller, more "aware" life.

    You mentioned a family member having a fatal stroke. As we get older, more and more precious members of our families are going to die. My sister was killed by a cougar last year and we found her body, that was not exactly a part of my life I would like to relive, but life goes on. That is a fact of life, as a nurse you should understand that clearly. As far as your FIL having bypass surgery, did he die? Most folks who have bypass surgery return to normal, active lives, my husband did. How is your son doing now after surgery? If he is 19, he was probably healthy enough to get thru things well. As far as your back surgery goes...there are many nursing jobs that are not quite as demanding physically as others. Search them out.

    Maybe your primary problem stems from your opening sentence, saying you are an RN who lives for her career. Nursing is a job. We are numbers on a schedule to management. If you happen to be able to find some enjoyment and fullfillment in your job, then that is a bonus. That is what keeps us going. But as far as living for it.....there are too many other things to live for. Live for your family, your grandchildren, yourself, the ability to travel and enjoy nature. Live for God, make yourself available to others who may need encouragement. Live for the sake of being able to see the sunrise every morning. Live to hear a baby coo. Live for puppy kisses. Live because that is why we are on the earth, but for Heaven's sake....don't live for nursing!
    I don't mean to be a beyotch either, but I find your response both uninformed and insensitive in the extreme. Yes, we all have adversity, and all of the OP's stressors may have meant she needed to take time off work. What she is facing now, in the form of severe depression, is a biological inability to "get through it" and move on. I, too, have been diagnosed with major depressive disorder, and have been one of the fortunate ones for whom medication has worked. I can well recall what it was like trying to muddle through my life without that medication, and it had nothing to do with feeling sorry for myself or thinking I was the only one who was facing problems. I am extremely grateful that the medical community has moved beyond the impression that depression is some failing on the part of the affected and come up with treatments that help the majority of us who suffer from it. OP, I know that in very very select situations, they are still using ECT. Is that a possibility for you?
  13. by   Liddle Noodnik
    Quote from ARNPsomeday
    I don't know, chadash, and I'm sorry. I underwent group therapy for survivors of childhood sexual abuse and that was where I had the fortune of learning. edited: Un-learning, actually.

    Maybe you could look for something similar? Just please, check out the therapist and be sure they are bona fide.

    Best to all who are there now. You are not alone. Hugs.


    UNlearn. Yes, that's what it is! Great point!

    As to DBT (dialectical behavioral therapy) - Check out Marsha Linehan

    there is also CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) - don't know who writes about that -

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