Name that part. Words patients use for their own anatomy. - page 3

Ever searched in a patients' room for what you thought she said she needed to "watch her pocketbook" , she staring at you and you staring at her. Then finally saying, mam what color is your... Read More

  1. by   Marie_LPN, RN
    Quote from mjlrn97
    That reminds me of a former patient of mine who used to say, "I'm going to wash down as far as possible, then up as far as possible, and then I'm going to wash the possible!" :chuckle
    LOL My grandma used to say that!
  2. by   nurse_widgy
    some of my female residents have some funny names for their private areas... "snatch", "cooter", bull dog", "lickety split".

    one of my male residents calls his penis his "hmmmm- hmmmm" and nods his head down several times as he speaks about it. LOL
  3. by   MamaTheNurse
    Quote from nurse_widgy
    some of my female residents have some funny names for their private areas... "snatch", "cooter", bull dog", "lickety split".
    bull dog? I never heard a canine reference to that area - only feline! LOL

    ps - my 2nd grader came home and told me his friend Mark (who has 3 older sisters) told him that girls have "vaginators" - I thought my husband was going to pass out, he laughed so hard....
  4. by   laurasc
    "lady bum" That's how one mother referred to her daughter's perineal area. It's actually quite cute.

    When my hubby was young his mother called his penis a "Charlie". You can imagine the gales of laughter when they saw the Christmas cartoon "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer" (you know the one with Yukon Cornelius and Hermie the elf dentist) and were met by a "Charlie in the Box." He still chuckles to this day. :chuckle
  5. by   unknown99
    We recently had a patient who had a colostomy for 20 years. She called it Lucy.
  6. by   Forcemaster
    Now when I was a student (all of a few months ago now) I was pretty obsessive about keeping a reflective journal about my time in clinical placement because my personal tutor at university, a guy who was also my 'Developing Professional Nursing Practice' teacher, often asked us to take an entry from our reflective journals and write a short essay on it ...

    Now as a second year student i spent some time in a male GU clinic :stone ... I include for your enjoyment an excerpt of the entry I wrote at the end of my 6 week experience...

    "...Medical and nursing terminology has a tendancy to seem confusing at times, but during this placement I realised that we don't even start to compare to patient's vocabulary and their euphemisms for you know what...A bit of the other, slap and tickle. They can't seem to say Sex and use any other possible name under the sun. They cant say sex... it has to be things like get your leg over, get your end away, get your oats, get it off, get it on, get it up.

    Also, it seems men don't make love. They shag, shaft, screw, score, knock, knob, boff, bang, ball, hump, bump, jump, poke, pull, pour, park the pink bus, sink the salami, plant Percy in the playpen, pop the pig, root, roger, ram, lay, top, mount, do the roman helmet rumba, have some hanky panky, a bit of how's your father, slip a leg, jerkin the gherkin, slam in the lamb, lead the lama to the lift shaft.

    And breasts aren't breasts. It appears if you're a man, breasts are Bristol's, dumplings, lotties, mambas, mammaries, melons, mazoomas, mangos, coconuts, jugs, jubblies, pears pineapples, falokas, bazookas, guns of Navarone, charlies, hooters, tits titties, diddies, screamers, whoppers, wobblers, knockers, shoulder boulders, air bags, fun bags, jelly bags, or in some cases silicone bags.

    But they seem to really excel when it comes to the place where some of the clients I have seen over the last 6 weeks park their brains!

    It's not a penis, it's Hampton, happy lamb, lunch box, love truncheon, a pork saw, peter, plonker, pecker, pink cigar, pirate of men's pants, percy, packet, pocket rocket, pink thermometer, rhythm stick, fleshy flugel horn, gherkin, cucumber, carrot, giggle stick, giggling thing, the right honourable member for underpants. It's a joystick, a jigger stick, john, john thomas, bacon bazooka, beaver leaver, rod, chopper, dick, donger, the bald headed hermit, dumb stick, ding-a-ling, whip, weapon, whanger, wedding tackle, manhood, member, high pressure vein cane, old man, old fella, one eyed trouser snake, a phallus, love sausage, captain sausage, mr. stiffy, tadger, todger, wang, wiener, spurt reynolds..."

    And I edited this excerpt to only include the one's I thought I could get away with in a public forum!!! :lol_hitti
  7. by   jnette
    You forgot one...

    penis : = JimDog
  8. by   SmilingBluEyes
    I remember my gramma giving me prune juice daily (when I was staying w/her). I hated it. Asked her "why"?

    so you can make "ah-ah"

    her euphemism for poop, I guess. rofl. sheesh. the words we come up with.
  9. by   JEHORAPHA
    Quote from Forcemaster
    Now when I was a student (all of a few months ago now) I was pretty obsessive about keeping a reflective journal about my time in clinical placement because my personal tutor at university, a guy who was also my 'Developing Professional Nursing Practice' teacher, often asked us to take an entry from our reflective journals and write a short essay on it ...

    Now as a second year student i spent some time in a male GU clinic :stone ... I include for your enjoyment an excerpt of the entry I wrote at the end of my 6 week experience...

    "...Medical and nursing terminology has a tendancy to seem confusing at times, but during this placement I realised that we don't even start to compare to patient's vocabulary and their euphemisms for you know what...A bit of the other, slap and tickle. They can't seem to say Sex and use any other possible name under the sun. They cant say sex... it has to be things like get your leg over, get your end away, get your oats, get it off, get it on, get it up.

    Also, it seems men don't make love. They shag, shaft, screw, score, knock, knob, boff, bang, ball, hump, bump, jump, poke, pull, pour, park the pink bus, sink the salami, plant Percy in the playpen, pop the pig, root, roger, ram, lay, top, mount, do the roman helmet rumba, have some hanky panky, a bit of how's your father, slip a leg, jerkin the gherkin, slam in the lamb, lead the lama to the lift shaft.

    And breasts aren't breasts. It appears if you're a man, breasts are Bristol's, dumplings, lotties, mambas, mammaries, melons, mazoomas, mangos, coconuts, jugs, jubblies, pears pineapples, falokas, bazookas, guns of Navarone, charlies, hooters, tits titties, diddies, screamers, whoppers, wobblers, knockers, shoulder boulders, air bags, fun bags, jelly bags, or in some cases silicone bags.

    But they seem to really excel when it comes to the place where some of the clients I have seen over the last 6 weeks park their brains!

    It's not a penis, it's Hampton, happy lamb, lunch box, love truncheon, a pork saw, peter, plonker, pecker, pink cigar, pirate of men's pants, percy, packet, pocket rocket, pink thermometer, rhythm stick, fleshy flugel horn, gherkin, cucumber, carrot, giggle stick, giggling thing, the right honourable member for underpants. It's a joystick, a jigger stick, john, john thomas, bacon bazooka, beaver leaver, rod, chopper, dick, donger, the bald headed hermit, dumb stick, ding-a-ling, whip, weapon, whanger, wedding tackle, manhood, member, high pressure vein cane, old man, old fella, one eyed trouser snake, a phallus, love sausage, captain sausage, mr. stiffy, tadger, todger, wang, wiener, spurt reynolds..."

    And I edited this excerpt to only include the one's I thought I could get away with in a public forum!!! :lol_hitti
    This is a Hooooot!!!
  10. by   jaimealmostRN
    My personal favorite is when Al Bundy called breasts, "snack trays" LOL!
  11. by   camay1221_RN
    When I worked at a pediatric office, a mother called stating her son's "lollipop" is very red and he cries when he pees.

    So, being ever so blunt, I said, "You mean his penis?" Her reply was, "We don't use that word." Ookkaayy..., but you will call your sons penis something that is put in the mouth?!? No, I didn't say that, but boy did I ever want to!
  12. by   Chaya
    "Hoohah" for the female genitalia. I hear that a lot.
  13. by   Nurse4Moms
    I've heard most of the submitted words for genitalia. Our patients do make our worklives interesting, yes?!

    Here are some I've encountered:
    breasts: hoohoo's, hoho's, tooties, bonkers, shelf, twins, 'loons (as in balloons?),
    vulva/vagina: tooty, hoohoo, totty, peachypie, Ms. Lucy, stuff, meat
    penis: yanker, dawg, thingy, peanut, peeps

    Thanks for this interesting poll! heehee

    KC in FL :chuckle

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