My husband wakes me up!

  1. Ok so I have been married a little over a year now and I work nights 7 p-7am. My husband is absolutely awesome with helping with the house, my kids, and well EVERYTHING. My friends are envious the man is amazing I'm lucky no doubt. There's one major issue that keeps causing fights between us though. I work nights and my husband is self employed so he's home most of the time. While this is a benefit to us in many areas it is killing my sleep. He wakes me up all the time. I can't get him to understand even if it was just for a minute or five that it's a big deal. Today he woke me up to help him find something. He had no where to go. There was no urgent need. He just wanted my help. I was really ugly to him to the point I left for work not speaking to him. Has anyone else had this issue? Any advice?
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  2. 47 Comments

  3. by   hherrn
    Talk to him.
  4. by   Penelope_Pitstop
    Wake him up in the middle of the night a few times.
  5. by   Davey Do
    Welcome to AN.com, BabyRN_nights!

    This is a conundrum! On one hand, you've got a devoted helpmate, and on the other hand you've got a needy dude to have to deal with. Hmmm!

    I'm at a loss... as humorous as Penolope_Pitstop's advice is, I think I have to go with hherrn's. Playing "See How You Like It" could just cause more problems

    Good luck to you, BabyRN_nights, and if you find a magic solution, please let us know and then bottle and patent it!
  6. by   Sour Lemon
    I have no magical solution for keeping your husband in line.
  7. by   MunoRN
    Each time he wakes you up during the day, wake him up at the corresponding time during the night.
  8. by   meanmaryjean
    You can also make those preemptive strikes by phone while you are working.

    Let's just say that I have personal experience with their effectiveness..
  9. by   JKL33
    How does he feel about what he is doing (assuming there has been some kind of discussion in the past): Does he truly not understand how disruptive this is or does he not CARE?
  10. by   caliotter3
    Someone I know made liberal use of hotel rooms because of the distance to her job. Start going to a hotel for rest and I'll bet he gets the message.
  11. by   Been there,done that
    Sleep is precious for night shift workers. Unfortunate that he doesn't comprehend your need for sleep. If he is that outstanding of a husband in general.. get on day shift.
  12. by   StrwbryblndRN
    I would wake him up while he is sleeping. Sounds bad but if talking to him does not cut it, than action would be the next step. Some just do not understand that sleeping during the day is equivalent to night time sleeping. And is necessary for your health. Keep us posted on what worked out.
  13. by   Crush
    Talk to him first and if there is no resolution you may want to consider switching shifts. Especially since he sounds supportive in every other way. You may miss the night shift differential in pay but sanity and sleep may be more valuable. You could also employee a "do not disturb" type sign on the bedroom door whilst sleeping as a visual reminder for him.
  14. by   Here.I.Stand
    "Honey, I am not taking luxury naps during the day -- this is my BEDTIME. Waking me up in the middle of the day is akin to me waking you up in the middle of the night...how would you like it if I woke you up at 3 a.m. for a non-emergency? Interrupted sleep is not restorative -- therefore it puts me at risk. Of course I trust that you can understand this, and I trust that you don't want to put me at risk. Our new policy is: you may wake me up if you see blood or smoke. We will see how that goes; if nothing improves, I will have to start locking the bedroom door."

    If that doesn't work, you may consider proving your point by waking him during the night.

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