Murphy's Law of Nursing

[Pepper The Cat]

1. The admission they want to send you is always the opposite sex of your only available bed - resulting in bed moves.

2. A certain MD always takes at least 20 minutes to respond to your page - except for the time when you page him and then run to the bathroom - that time he calls back in 3 minutes.

3. The loud snorer is never roommates with the pt who is deaf. No, he is roommates with the light sleeper.

4. Families always want to talk to the discharge planner, social worker, specialist or manager on a Sunday afternoon when none of these people are working. and the get mad at YOU because they are not available.

5. Pts are either constipated requiring laxs, enemas etc, or have exploding diarrhea.

What are your Murphy's Laws?

[threebrats46]

Happens to me ALLL the time. Darn these need barcode systems!

[threebrats46]

Terrible!!!

[GitanoRN, BSN, MSN, RN]

every weekend or holiday, when you're scheduled to work someone will call out

[~PedsRN~, BSN, RN]

HalfMarathoner said:

Drawing up the Dilaudid in the med room, thinking to myself, "do not throw this away as it needs to be barcode-scanned or they will think I am DIVERTING NARCOTICS AND I WILL LOSE MY LICENSE!" as I watch myself chuck the empty Dilaudid syringe into a sharps container.

This happens to me more often than not! Our morphine comes in little syringes in the omnicell - so I always put a needle on the end to push it into my other syringe full of NaCL... and then habit makes me throw the sharp into the bin. Ugh!!

And why do doctors always round at shift change? And then try and track down nurses for something on the patient? So many times I get the doctor come up to me and say "Are YOU the nurse for 24?" Why yes, I am - but I have had this patient all of two minutes so I don't know jack. Sorry. You would think they would know better by now!

[Meriwhen, ASN, BSN, MSN, RN]

A patient will not verbalize a single complaint all day but decide 30 minutes before the change of shift that they wish to leave AMA.

[JenLPN001]

Gotta preface this by saying I work in a 60 bed, privately owned ALF that is 100% Alzheimer's/Dementia care. We don't have unit clerks, but we do have an administrative assistant who answers the phones, pushes the button to let visitors in and out, etc.

The phone will not ring, visitors will not show up at the door, and the fax will not go into overdrive..... UNTIL the admin asst goes home for the day... then all of the above will happen simultaneously.... during dinner.... when someone has just fallen... and you're trying to complete your 5pm med pass.

You'll be having a good day... in a good mood... on a roll...everything falling neatly into place... and someone will say "Gee, isn't it QUIET tonight?"

[SoldierNurse22, BSN, RN]

When I show up for rounds with the docs, everyone looks at me as though I have three eyes and asks who I am. For the remainder of rounds, I must literally interrupt physicians to bring up nursing concerns about my patients because no one asks me any more questions at all.

When I don't show up for rounds, the interns or residents make a point of asking where I was during rounds.

[dirtyhippiegirl, BSN, RN]

That new patient who was supposed to be on the unit hours ago will roll in either fifteen minutes into your shift or fifteen minutes before it ends.

Same goes for that stat MRI or CT scan -- usually ordered for an issue that's been going on for days.

--

You've just finished up a two hour burn dressing...and the patient craps himself fifteen minutes later.

The inverse proportional rule of stability for burn patients goes something like:

that stable, walky-talky burn pt (per EMS report) will roll up as a 80% full thickness who is already in ARF and DIC

the transfer with full thickness circumferential burns to the chest who definitely needs escharotomies has a quarter-sized spot on their stomach and is immediately d/c'd the next day

[Double-Helix, BSN, RN]

In pediatrics:

1. The baby who has been clean and content all day will have explosive diarrhea and begin screaming hysterically 15 seconds before the parents arrive to visit.

2. When the child on continuous feeds pulls out his NGT, no one will notice for at least an hour.

3. A baby will poop or throw up as soon as they have been changed and redressed. (This should also be studied. It happens at home too, not just hospitals.)

4. You ask the resident before you draw labs if he is SURE there are no other labs he wants. When you have just finished drawing the needed blood on a screaming child who is nearly an impossible stick, that resident WILL walk in the room and say they need to add one more test.

5. The NAS babies will all be inconsolable on the days that you are understaffed and have no aides or volunteers.

[Pepper The Cat, BSN, RN]

Quote

You'll be having a good day... in a good mood... on a roll...everything falling neatly into place... and someone will say "Gee, isn't it QUIET tonight?"

Ah yes, the QUIET jinx! Never ever ever says its been a quiet shift unless you are home, have your feet up, and a glass of wine in hand!

[silverbat]

>>

OR until you are OUTSIDE the building and talking to the next shift member who is running late!! LOL you, know..." Wow, mary, sure hope you have a quiet night. The day was wonderful!"

[blondy2061h, MSN, RN]

blondy2061h said:

The day you think you're just barely healthy enough to go to work you'll have the most grueling, physically demanding assignment ever. The syringe full of blood will always hit the floor barrel down. The day you wear white you'll get puked on.

This was suppose to say plunger down- so the syringe is in effect a blood rocket.