Mom of 3 trying to go back to school

  1. Mother of 3 children, ages 2,4, and 6. Everytime I try to go back to school, there is always something holding me back. I work in labor and delivery as a unit secretay, and I love it. It was a great chance to get my foot in the door. I feel like labor and delivery is where my heart is at (other than my family). I am working on getting my CNA. How can I work full-time, raise 3 kids, be a good wife, and go to nursing school? Or am I just out of my mind. My husband is very supportive, but he is all the support I have. I would love some advice.

    Thanks,
    MYA
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  2. 38 Comments

  3. by   nurseunderwater
    Is there any way you can work part-time? i have 3 also - boys - 1,3,6. my plan is to work weekends, school fulltime and have a nanny. I know that this sounds pretentious(at least to this mama it does) but here in houston I can find a loving, experienced woman for around 350 a week to watch them in my home. this also includes cleaning. i figure this way i have the freedom to stay at the library and study/do research, go to class, clean while she takes the kids out, play w/ the kids while she cleans etc...i feel like it builds in the flexibility i need and my kids won't be so displaced. also if i work 24 hours at the hospital the forgiveness loan program will cover my tuition and expenses.

    I tried the studing at night thing last year and it just didn't work. With 3 kids I am too tired to do much of anything after 9PM let alone something that requires intensive brain activity....good luck and congrats on taking the next step toward realizing your dream.

    oh, and the dh and I **try** to have a date a week, alone. even if it's only an hour at the coffee house up the road. cause if we're good, everyones good
  4. by   Mandarella
    I am in the same situation here. I have 2 boys 2 months and 14 months. My plan is for right now work night 12 hour shifts, be with the kids in the day and when school picks up drop to a part time position. My husband and I decided to just bite the bullet and do it. I hope to be in the weekend program which is a 3 yr program instead of 2 but I have to work. Good Luck!

    Quote from MYAgirls3
    Mother of 3 children, ages 2,4, and 6. Everytime I try to go back to school, there is always something holding me back. I work in labor and delivery as a unit secretay, and I love it. It was a great chance to get my foot in the door. I feel like labor and delivery is where my heart is at (other than my family). I am working on getting my CNA. How can I work full-time, raise 3 kids, be a good wife, and go to nursing school? Or am I just out of my mind. My husband is very supportive, but he is all the support I have. I would love some advice.

    Thanks,
    MYA
  5. by   scrubs70
    Father of 3 girls aged 8,3.5 and 1. Caring full time for disabled wife, studying nursing full time externally and surviving on a $1400 p/m pension. It is by no means easy, but it is possible. Follow your dreams, it will be worth it
  6. by   LT Dave
    You can't. You made choices to have 3 kids. You are not there enough, now you want to spend what ever time you have at school. Time to prioritze.
  7. by   mitchsmom
    I am lucky that I don't have to work and my husband does sort of shift work in a job that enables him a lot of time off so he can watch our kids while I go to nursing school part-time, so they don't need a sitter very often. I wouldn't do it if it weren't for that. To be honest I don't know how people work full-time, have kids (particularly young kids not in school yet) and go to school!! But there are several people in my program that do. I am amazed by them because I am beat just caring for my kids (2, almost 5, and just turned 7- my full-time job & first committment) and doing school part-time. I know that some of them have other family members that are able to help.
    I agree with the person above, my first year I did a lot of burning the midnight oil but now I just can't do that regularly anymore so I have to schedule time in the day to do schoolwork. If stay up late I will fall asleep at the wheel on my 110 mile one-way commute! I also find it best to separate it from home life as much as I can (not always possible, like now for summer my classes are online so I'll be trying to do assignments piecemeal around the house and it will cause strife). It works better in my family if I do it when I'm at school and am able to do home things at home. Anyhow, I'm rambling Would getting student loans make it so that you could quit or work very part-time? I got Stafford loans.
    Last edit by mitchsmom on May 14, '04
  8. by   renerian
    I have worked full time while in school, first time with a 2 month old and a not quite 2 year old. The next time for my BS/MS with 5 children. It is very hard but if your spouse helps it goes much smoother.

    renerian
  9. by   JSB
    You can do it if you put your mind to it and have some support. I work 24 hours/wk and have 3 girls, 2, 4 & 6 yrs old, and I will be graduating in June. I will be an RN after I take boards in July. The main thing ou will have to work out is who will watch the children because clinicals start at 6:15 am and are often not over until 7:30 pm. I have also had late linicals that go until after midnight. The scheduling has been a struggle because I am a single mom, but it can be done. I often feel guilty because I don't spend enough time with the children even though I never study when they're around. I do wait until after they go to bed at 8 pm to start studying - I just get less sleep than I would like, but it was only for 2 years. So to answer your question, no, you probably cannot be a "good" wife, and a "good" mother and work and go to school - but this was a sacrifice I felt I had to make. I could not support my children properly on the salary I was making, and I want them to see the importance of having an education and working hard to improve yourself and your lot in life. You can do it if you really want to, but know that it won't be easy, and there will be big sacrifices. You can do it all, but it is very difficult if not impossible to do it all well.
  10. by   NewEnglandRN
    I waited until my boys were older to return to school. They are now 10,11 & 12 and I don't feel as guilty returning to school. Since they are in school I don't have to worry much about child care. I started out taking a few classes at night and will be entering my nursing program this fall.

    Of course, my house is not perfectly clean and the laundry might not be folded immediately, but everyone is happy (most of the time.) The boys think it's cool that Mom is going back to school

    Michelle
  11. by   Di0202
    I went back to school when my kids were 8/10/12. My husband tried to help but he was working 12-14 hours a day. Luckily I did not have to work, although driving 3 kids to all of their activities, trying to keep up with house and everything else a Mom does was tough.

    I just had my capping and pinning last night!!! It has been a long haul, but it was worth it. I would suggest trying to work only part time or waiting until your kids are a little bit older. It's never too late to go back to school, but your kids aren't little for very long. Don't give up these years with them, they go by too fast.

    Good Luck
  12. by   gypsyatheart
    It might actually be easier if you wait 'til your kids are all in school. 2 and 4 are awfully young, (so is 6yo) BTW. They grow so fast and nursing school is a full-time plus comittment. And if you have to work, it's true, when will you see your kids and, more importantly, who will be raising your children? Who do you want raising your children? Once those little ones hit mid school to high school age, forget it. You will no longer be the center of their universe.It really is all about priorities. I don't mean to discourage you at all. I believe you can acheive your goals; just give it a little more time, wait 'til the kids are all in school, so you are not "absent" as much from their lives. Nursing isn't going anywhere, but your kids are...
    Good luck!
  13. by   FutureNurse2005
    I have to disagree with everyone who is saying not to do it or you cant do it. I am hoping to start in Fall 2005. My kids will be turning 4 and 5. We decided to wait until they would be in school at least part time to help keep costs down. But, I'll be working part time as well!
    Now, yes, I will be very busy. However, my feeling is that quality time is better than quantity in this case! Spending one day or night a week being completely devoted to my family is going to impact them in a more positive way. I also feel that having them see me working so hard will be encouraging and beneficial to them. I think they will see and learn just how important education is (even if we dislike what we are doing ) Just imagine how proud of you they will be at your graduation!!!!

    It WILL be a lot of work. It WILL be strenuous. It WILL be worth it
    Talk with your family and friends. Ask for help!! It is truly going to have to be a FAMILY effort. I wish you all the very best!!
  14. by   MYAgirls3
    I know raising my kids is the most important thing right now, but I feel like I have to do something. My husband lost his job, which I never thought that would happen. He was making an excellent income that allowed me to stay home. I did this so my husband could fufill his dream. That was fine for two years, but I felt like I needed more. Believe me raising children is a very fufilling, but there was something always missing. Now our lives have been turned upside down from him losing his job, for something he had no control over. I always knew I wanted to be a nurse, and when I got the job in labor and delivery I knew I somehow had to go back to school. One of our plans was for him to stay home with the kids, and I work full-time and go to school. We need the income of me working full-time, but also I want to keep my foot in the door. We only have each other, we don't have family that would be willing to help. I don't want to inconvience anyone.
    Thanks,
    MYA

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